What is your superuseless super power?

mine is laser pointer vision.
like cyclops of xmen, except that it’s just a harmless laser pointer. pew3x
cons: hard time getting in movie houses.
pros: wins alot of staring contest.

I can hypnotize farm animals to do my bidding. I’ve never found a benefit for this and I’m not really looking for one.

It’s 4:30 a.m. and I’m at work and not thinking straight. That’s the reason for this intellectually stimulating answer. Just in case someone was wondering.

I checked the cute link, but I’m not going to make one up.

What I already have that I would consider a superuseless super power is my talent of catching just about anything that falls. A fork, a cracker, an apple, you name it, if it’s dropped I can usually catch it. Oh, and I even somehow find a way to not catch knives. It’s pretty impressive, I think. Though useless.

My superuseless super power is that if I walk into your bedroom, I morph into your mother and have UV light vision.

@trustinglife, that’s pretty impressive. Do you juggle?

@AlfredaPrufrock lol!

@AlfredaPrufrock LOL4RL
Especially funny coming from you!

@AlfredaPrufrock. Great stuff, as usual. :o)

That is the funniest question on here. I’ve laughed so hard this morning. How in the world did I miss that one? The possible exchange between Zack and the painter is playing out in my head, like a scene from a Carl Reiner directed film.

I loved how earnest he seemed about the whole thing. That thread is all sorts of awesome.

@Bluefreedom I could see that power coming in handy when herding cats…

@AlfredaPrufrock. I just happen to own 5 cats. Are you psychic or something? ;o)

@Bluefreedom, why yes, I am. Which makes the UV light vision all the more formidable.

My superpower is that lines form behind me when I go to places. It was funny for the first few years, but nowadays it’s just a fact of life. I have to find some way to profit off of this…

@dynamicduo, perhaps you could sue the creators of Twitter and collect?

@dynamicduo Buy tickets and scalp them to people at the end of the line.

Just kidding. Scalpers are boo.

@Nimis hey nimis, tell us your useless superpower :D

Indestructible pinky finger

I’ll have to answer when I’ve had more sleep. ‘Tis 4:41 in the morning and I’m a tad braindead.

Errrr…I can tell where in the episode of Saved By The Bell it is just by hearing the music they cue before the commercial break.

That’s not entirely useless though. That’s what I use as an alarm clock.

my willpower

I can do the can-can with my fingers whilst kazooing the song just with my mouth (no kazoo needed). Thus far, I’ve saved no one.

I know the words to most of Bob Dylan’s songs.

Being able to read minds, but only if I’m drunk. So either way, whatever I interpret, is most likely wrong and blurred. XD

I attract natural disasters. To wherever I am. I can’t control how quickly it will happen though. I’ve lived through: tornadoes, hurricanes, city-wide fires, earthquakes, blizzards, floods, the Volcano doesn’t really count since it was just rumbling, and no tidal waves yet. I was in Seattle for their big snow storm this year. Returned just in time for flooding in Chicago. Then the continuation of the snowiest winter we’ve had in a really long time.

This question reminded me of this fairly not safe for work comic.

I am Umbrella Fold-o Girl! You know how umbrellas look when they are brand new: all nicely folded with sharp creases and they fit into those tiny little umbrella bags? I can recreate that effect every time I fold my umbrella up after it drys.

Shazam!

My super-useless super power is that every job I have ever left, the company has folded or had something terrible happen to it within a year after my leaving. Every single one.

My wife teases me about this all the time.

I can destroy entire sectors of World Economies! ... No really! You guys don’t believe me?
Ok, I was doing commercial photography just before the digital thing…
I had an Internet Co. just before the DotCom bust…
A software development Co. just before “off-shoring” was inaugerated into Webster Dict…
And for grand finale, drum roll please….......
Most recently I was doing Residential CONSTRUCTION!!!
I was thinking of offering the Gov/CIA my expertise for purposes of overthrowing small nations, petit dictators & uni-sectored economies! what do you guys think???
Oh no, working for them, do you think it could bring on the demise of…?

—right back at ya @cprevite.
;). —

@Bagardbilla cprevite could be your sidekick :D

@rj325 Ha – too funny.

LOOK, IT’S ECONO-MAN AND HIS FAITHFUL SIDEKICK PORK BARREL!

That’s hilarious. This has turned into a real fun question.

@AP, I’ve never really juggled. I think it’s more hyper-reflexes than real coordination.

I’ve been dropping eggs like crazy for the last two weeks rolling them off the counter by accident, not laying them like a hen I could use your super powers tomorrow morning when I make cake balls.

* Transferring superpower reflexes for 24 hours. *

Thank you, but you realize that for the same 24 hours, if you step into your bedroom you will turn into your mother with UV light vision? Are you prepared? I’ve heard that sleeping with a rolling pin under your pillow can protect you

* Checking to make sure that superpower transfer is one-way only. *

AlfredaPrufrock now is a psychic, can morph into your mom with uv vision and superpower reflexes.

My ‘family legend’ joke super-power is the shin kick. If I kick you in the shin, you will die. I have never actually used this power, it is just a given that I have it :)

In real life, I am Super Empathy Girl. Shoulders available instantly! Tears spring forth spontaneously! Will take on the burden of your feelings! Will do nothing to actually improve your situation, while making my own worse! sigh

My super-useless super power is that I make myself laugh. Constantly. For some reason, I think I’m damned funny. Other people, not so much. It’s useless, but it is a power I enjoy.

@augustlan I’m pretty sure I’m married to Super Empathy Girl – East Coast augustlan.

Synesthesia.

Oh yeah, I forgot. Magic powers (kinda Harry Potter style) but only usable while I’m sleeping, drunk, or wearing bright purple shoes.

wow, i dont know if it’s a coincidence but someone added the superpower (laser pointer) i suggested in the superuseless superpower website.