General Question

candacewells4's avatar

If you had a friend who smoked or drank or did drugs a lot, how would you get them to quit?

Asked by candacewells4 (83points) January 23rd, 2009

a few of my friends have tendencies to get out of control. one in particular used to be really addicted, and i’m afraid constantly that they’ll get like that again because sometimes they mess up. they want to quit, but can’t find the will. i want to help so bad. i hate all that stuff and can’t stand to see my friends regretting things and messing up their lives.

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9 Answers

sarahpariso's avatar

are they in danger of hurting themselves or just experimenting? If just experimenting, I say, such is life. Borderline addiction is another story and so difficult to approach as it takes WANTING to stop or usually some huge catastrophic event for life change to occur. Easiest way to begin the conversation is to tell them that you are worried for them and would like to talk about limits and toning down usage.

dynamicduo's avatar

You don’t get people to do things. They have to want to change in order for them to change. You can express your concern for them, but you can’t demand that they stop doing something just cause you don’t approve of it or the effect it has on them.

basp's avatar

Dyna is right… You can’t make them change. You can, however, change the way you react or interact with them.

purpleistheshiz's avatar

i was an addict a long time ago and you cant do anything to change the person, but you can offer your support. it helps in the healing process and when they figure out the big picture youll be there to help them.

Blondesjon's avatar

I do believe the term ‘addicted’, used in it’s negative connotation, was concocted by folks who had either:

A. Already had their fun and quit.

B. An addictive need for control over others in their life.

remember, as destructive as certain addictions can be to all involved, you can only do what’s best for you.

90s_kid's avatar

That is not an easy thing at all. Depending on how close you two are, there is not much that you can do. If you want to, then just tell them to let them know that you are concerned. And then bring it to psychiatric levels maybe when their brain is possessed at 2am by the midnight overload

loser's avatar

How old is your friend?

Vinifera7's avatar

You might want to show your disapproval in subtle ways, but you risk distancing yourself from your friend. I really don’t know. I’ve never had to deal with this situation.

tscoyk's avatar

Maybe it isn’t such a good idea to approach this as how to get someone to do something. No one is quitting drinking/smoking/drugging unless they are ready. And a quick life lesson – good luck GETTING anyone to do anything. The only control that you have in this world is control over yourself and your reactions to others. You cannot, as much as it may hurt, be in charge here. At best, you can form an intervention and let your person know how you and others that love him/her are affected and do the “tough love” thing. But really you must face facts – you can never make someone do something. Change will come if and when they are ready to embrace it.

How to do the intervention and the support and all of that “afterwork” is a whole different question.

Best of luck.

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