General Question

Jude's avatar

A friend and I were discussing this today - How do you know when you're ready to date again?

Asked by Jude (32101points) January 24th, 2009
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

13 Answers

skfinkel's avatar

When you feel like going out with someone, you are ready.

Jeruba's avatar

When the desire exceeds the fear.

Introverted_Leo's avatar

Again?! I don’t think I’ll ever be ready period. Men are crazy trouble. I like my simplistic, drama-free life.

But idk, perhaps when you’re content with your life and who you are as a single. >>shrugs<<

La_chica_gomela's avatar

It depends on the person, the break-up, each time it’s different. My last break-up was after 2 and half years, and I was pretty much ready to go out with someone that night. I met someone a week later, and it turned into a serious flame, not a rebound guy or anything.

It just happens, one day you see a cute girl or guy, you talk to them, you grow enamored and poof, you’re ready to go out.

wundayatta's avatar

I hope never to find out.

nmguy's avatar

One rule of thumb is that you should wait one month for every year that you were in the relationship before dating again.

Trustinglife's avatar

Yeah, but what if it was a short relationship? My two-month relationship just ended. I learned some stuff, but come on… a month? I don’t think I’ll follow that thumb rule on this one.

Jeruba's avatar

And what if it was really long? After, say, thirty-five years, you might need plenty of recovery time, but you might also not have three years to spend if you do want to begin again.

I think it depends on how old you are and what was the cause for the split. Breakup of the latest in a series of rapid youthful romances is a pretty different matter from widowhood at 65.

(But @Trustinglife, one month for every year is 1/12th. One-twelfth of the 60 days you just spent is 5 days. Is that a long wait for you?)

Trustinglife's avatar

@Jeruba It’s so funny – my girlfriend broke up with me on Saturday, and Sunday (yesterday), I met this amazing woman. Wow. So I was very present to this whole question of how long to wait. I didn’t ask her out, and I’m still thinking about how I want to approach it. So, no, 5 days is certainly not a long wait. But… I’m having some angst about it over here.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

@Trustinglife – I say go for it! When I met Tim, evevvvvvvveryone said ‘_re_bound!’ and told me not to get too close to him because i would regret it later, or after a while i would realize i didn’t really like him or something. i’m glad i didn’t listen to him. we’ve been together for more than a year, and i still think he’s absolutely wonderful. i love him to pieces. he’s the best.

i say it’s on a case-by-case basis. if you feel ready, then you probably are, and the best way to find out is to dive in.

Jeruba's avatar

When I met Mr. Right, I said, “Everything I’ve ever done has served to bring me here.” If I hadn’t been busy with a succession of Mr. In-the-Meantimes who didn’t last, I might have been elsewhere when he came along.

Trustinglife's avatar

@La_chica_gomela Thanks Chica! I just posted a separate question about this, as an obstacle seems to have appeared. I could use some advice. Here‘s my question.

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