General Question

nebule's avatar

WHY do people refuse to say excuse me and then get annoyed with you for not moving...

Asked by nebule (16449points) January 30th, 2009

when you clearly didn’t even know they were trying to get through or past you…? This happens a lot when i am in the supermarket – people seem to have forgotten the words “excuse me???”

I’m not talking about when you can clearly see they need to get through – it’s pure courtesy to move in those instances.

If anyone has any good quips i can blurt out to the offending persons next time this happens i would love to hear them…

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47 Answers

eponymoushipster's avatar

I think the overall reason is a feeling of self-importance. Who am I, that I have to tell you what I’m doing? You should be moving for me! You are less important than I am, so step aside!

I had this happen the other day. This lady’s kids (like 6 of ‘em) were all over the aisle, and racing hither and tither. I’m trying to get through, the kid runs into me, and the mother says to me, “Oh i guess you forgot to say excuse me.” ME?! your little retarded spawn did, breeder!


People are just plain rude these days. This is the same reason no one uses indicators to change lanes anymore.

nebule's avatar

Love it!! “retarded spawn” priceless!!! x

Vinifera7's avatar

Are you sure the mother wasn’t talking to her child? Her comment would make more sense in that context.

eponymoushipster's avatar

No, she looked at me and said it to me. Her precious little spaz was not being addressed. pissed me off.

Vinifera7's avatar

Well your ire is justified then. However if I was a mother with six kids running around a store my head wouldn’t be screwed on correctly either.

eponymoushipster's avatar

to produce six kids, your head can’t be on straight. you’re either forming a sports team or testing shoddy prophilatics.

Vinifera7's avatar

I’d be annoyed at her just for producing six kids and allowing them all to run around like maniacs in a store where I’m trying to shop.

eponymoushipster's avatar

no doubt they all have they’re favorite sugary cereal and specific type of toliet paper, so their ever-so-delicate asses don’t get chaffed. Each one – a special, delicate snowflake.

singing dancing crap of the world.

Vinifera7's avatar

LOL! Sugary cereal I can understand. But a favorite toilet paper? Are kids really that picky?

eponymoushipster's avatar

Probably. They’ve got, you know, SpongeBob and aloe vera and whathaveyou.

“Mommy, I need SpongeBob to wipe my ass.” “Sure, buttercup.”

This goes to what I said earlier about self-importance: Kids today are raised to think they’re the center of the friggin universe.

You want exactly what you want, Billy? SURE!
You’re special, and deserving of it all!

and the whole thing about everyone gets an award, no matter what. that’s rubbish.

Kids need to learn they’re not the center of everything and won’t always win at everything. It’s called “personality” and “character”. This overdoing it of “positive thinking” and so on is stupid. ok, so this is a bit of a pet peeve

dynamicduo's avatar

Because people are self-centered twits for the most part.

Emdean1's avatar

I notice when i am in the mall there will be people who literally walk right into me. I end up saying “Excuse YOU” to them. They don’t like that very much but it makes me feel better.

Emdean1's avatar

I really think they should have lines in hallways and walkways like they do in roads to keep the traffic moving correctly.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Emdean1 the mall is terrible. People don’t understand the concept of “off to the side to stare at windows, or turn and look as you walk.”

it’s like a friggin herd of cows at the mall.

cak's avatar

My husband has been known to get annoyed like this and I remind him that his mouth works and he can say, “Excuse me.” He says it, gets ignored and then glares at me.

Vicious cycle.

People are rude, on both sides of the fence. I LOVE when they see you coming, give you the “look” and stay exactly where they are. My husband will just weave right through them – I generally walk around. I have bigger issues to deal with. the five year old asking question after question…the 15yr old telling me that she HAS to have something. As he weaves through them, they’ll point out how rude he is and that is usually when I speak up. I’ll point out that he said,“excuse me” but none of them had the manners to make room for other people to pass.

If I have to say something, it’s not good. I have a very low tolerance for people with that sense of self-importance.

Emdean1's avatar

@eponymoushipster I am a pretty fast walker but i am courteous to others when i pass them, I hate when I get stuck behind the herds! AHH! Thats why i don’t go to the mall around the holidays or when i know there is no school. Its a nightmare!

eponymoushipster's avatar

@eponymoushipster Yeah I’m a fast walker too (lived in NYC, you have to be!). Do you get people who make snarky comments about people walking around them? That’s my favorite. YOU’RE holding up others, but because someone has something to do, somewhere to be, they deserve attitude. how logical!

eponymoushipster's avatar

i just realized i re: myself on the last comment. ok. more coffee

autumn43's avatar

I have been known to say “beep beep” when people seem to have not heard my “excuse me” or have ignored it. Probably why my daughter avoids shopping with me…

But I think people in general nowadays are more rude. It’s sad. Whether it is because of the harried lives we lead, or because they are ignorant, I dont know. I will still hold the door open for people, but more often than not, that is not the case when I am behind someone. If i DO happen to hold it open and they don’t say ‘thank you’ I will a little loudly say “You’re welcome!” I am not the doorman. Every once in a while someone will surprise me – and last night it was at the skating rink. A boy, about 12, had all of his hockey gear and I held the door open for him. He thanked me. And it made my night.

pekenoe's avatar

Laughing….. sorry, funny but not. It is, however, refreshing to live in an area where a majority of people are polite.

Young boys and girls open or hold open doors for ladies and gentlemen. You really can get help out with that package, and people will say “Oooops, sorry” if they pull a blunder.

Believe it or not, you can walk into a high school here and actually get a bit of respect, no cat calls, no stupid remarks.

Mostly that way, we have a few that are asses, but I think they moved here from your area. he he

Emdean1's avatar

I am in Cleveland Ohio and i wish they would allmove yoru way no offense haah

eponymoushipster's avatar

@pekenoe So, how is life in 1950s Illinois?

dalepetrie's avatar

OK, this falls under the category of “don’t get me started”. I’m going to show some restraint though and leave it at this…people have become self-important, lazy, arrogant, ignorant, oblivious and rude. It seems our culture pretty much has given up on manners except for those in the upper echelons…you know…the Martha Stewart crowd? There are some people who live and breathe proper decorum (think Brie on Despearate Housewives), then there are the regular folks like us who are intelligent enough to recognize that we share the planet and the space thereon with billions of others and should have a modicum of respect for those around us….those two categories make up MAYBE 10% of the population (at least in the US). The rest of the unwashed masses (and again, I speak mostly about the US in particular) are concerned with “I got to get frome here to there”. That’s it…that’s as far as these slack jawed troglodytes can go with their intellectual reasoning.

Next time that happens, say, “oh, sorry, my sixth sense must not be working today…I didn’t magically sense that I was blocking the progress of a silent force behind me.”

dynamicduo's avatar

@eponymoushipster – I just read your first comment there about that woman and her kids. How ridiculous. Whenever I see uncontrolled spawn running around wildly and hitting into me, I make a loud comment directed at no-one (or my partner if he’s there) wondering how far I could punt the smallest. That usually solves the problem, especially when followed up with an icy glare.

nebule's avatar

@dalepetrie brilliant! simply brilliant “slack jawed troglodyte” ...i didn’t even know that was a real word! what a clever name… the image is simply perfect. I might have to shortent he end phrase though as being of a nervous disposition i regret that i would probably mash my words up… but nevertheless…lurvin’ your style!!

eponymoushipster's avatar

@dynamicduo well, given certain factors (i.e. – i was by myself, and the woman had a certain vibe to her) i wasn’t about to pull something like that. plus, people are crazy enough these days, that if you said that, they’d sue you for abuse, or assault or something. just keep your crap machines out of my way!

cookieman's avatar

My 80/20 rule of life tells me this:

80% of the people I run into are narrow-minded and self-important schmucks who feel their fifteen minutes of fame is just around the corner. These same morons derive much of their street cred by knowing the ins and outs of the personal lives of every tawdry pseudo celebrity that graces the pages of People magazine.

The other 20% are kind, considerate, intelligent folks – most of whom hang out here on Fluther.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@cprevite I’M A 20%! I’M GONNA BE FAMOUS!!


dynamicduo's avatar

It’s true, people are crazy. And I wouldn’t say such things in America cause I’d be scared of retaliation of some type. But here in Canada, people are generally a bit less zany and quick to be offended or quick to sue. Honestly though, I would love to try having some control-less breeder sue me for such an incident, that lets me get in a counter suit regarding the actual abuse her kids caused by colliding with me, compared to me exerting my freedom of expression guaranteed by the Canadian Charter of Rights!

pekenoe's avatar

@eponymoushipster : I wouldn’t trade it for anything, actually Montana, sometimes it’s good to be behind the times and out of the mainstream.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@pekenoe i can respect that. I’m a big Decemberists fan, and Colin Meloy is from MT. he seems like a good fella. kudos

pekenoe's avatar

@Emdean1 : they already have in the western part of the state, used to be God’s country, now it’s Little California. (western Montana, western SD, northern Idaho, western Wyo) bunch of jerk outsiders moving in with their pockets stuffed with dollars thinking that being semi rich makes you super smart.

pekenoe's avatar

@eponymoushipster : thank you, being born and having lived in this part of the nation my entire life, I have a hard time grasping what people tell me living in cities is like. For us, going to the big city means heading for a town that has about 100,000 people (Billings) Billings is getting city problems, gangs, drive by shootings, crap like that. Too bad, we go there maybe a couple times a year, rest of the time small towns.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@pekenoe well, personally i prefer large cities, but that’s just me. i can do small-town, country stuff for a limited period of time. i think people just need to learn how to be courteous.

pekenoe's avatar

@eponymoushipster : that would be a grand world, and I do know a few people from the cities that are nice people. Come to think about it,I only know a few people from the cities. A youngster in this area cannot wait to get to the city, boring here. Lot of them come back but employment growth is slow in the boonies and ya gotta make a living.

cage's avatar

In England we say “excuse me” to people across the street from us. We’re that polite.
If someone failed to say excuse me to me then get annoyed with me for not moving. I think I’d make it my duty to stand in their way.

dynamicduo's avatar

In Canada people often say “sorry” even when the person doesn’t need to say it. Such as if two people are walking towards each other down a sidewalk, and both veer left, then right, then into a fancy tangle of sorting it out. Both people will say sorry!

cookieman's avatar

See, Canadians are polite. I may move there if US economics don’t improve in 5 years.

I like polite.

Emdean1's avatar

@cprevite we aren’t doing much improving here in the US :)

Jeruba's avatar

I seem to recall Miss Manners’ saying that the main reason for polite behavior is to keep people from wanting to kill each other.

cookieman's avatar

@Jeruba Miss Manners was very wise indeed.

@Emdean1 Slowly but surely – I am hopeful.

jlm11f's avatar

Huh? I haven’t really experienced any of this. I am sorry to hear a lot of you have though. Typically, I just say “excuse me” and people move. As for little kids running around in grocery stores/public areas, I love it! When I see them, I want to give up on adulthood and go run around with them. And the few times that they have come right at me and blocked my path, their parent(s) have been so apologetic about it, even though I don’t mind either way.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I knew that deep down, I wasn’t American somehow. I’m just that sort of “saying ‘excuse me’ to people across the road” person.

I sometimes get the feeling by the way some people behave, they are the “real” people and everyone else is a figment of the imagination, background extras on the show starring THEM! that they don’t have to speak to or show kindness and politeness to.

kindness09's avatar

I think because they don’t have a good manner.

autumn43's avatar

Well, we all know that parents are the first teachers. So, what the kids hear is what they learn. If parents are rude, it’s quite likely the children will be. If parents talk trash, then so will their kids. I’ve always told my kids “You never know what is going on in someone’s life. Be kind.”

90s_kid's avatar

They have better things to do in their life. They are punks. In Boston, this can get very typical.

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