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Mtl_zack's avatar

How can I forget about them?

Asked by Mtl_zack (6751points) February 12th, 2009

I dumbed my “friends” over a year ago. They were complete asses, and they made my entire high school experience suck. They are the worst people ever and I hate them so much. Yet, I am constantly reminded of them every single day. I mean, every single thing relates to them, and the ways that they tortured me. I really want to forget all of this, but I can’t. There is absolutely no way that I will forgive them. What can I do to solve this problem?

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17 Answers

dynamicduo's avatar

Get new friends who take your attention away from thinking about your old friends.

A hobby will do this too.

Emdean1's avatar

What did they do exactly?
From my experience in High School you are responsible for your own demise! Your Friends probably didn’t make it better, but they probably didn’t cause it either.

GAMBIT's avatar

Time heals all wounds.

Allow yourself to get angry. Allow yourself to feel sad. Curse them in your sleep if you have to but remeber life goes on know that you have grown from the experience. They in turn may always be jerks.

Mtl_zack's avatar

@dynamicduo I have new friends, but things that they do remind me of them.

@Emdean1 They constantly made fun of me, verbally and physically abused me, made all memories that are supposed to be good horrible, used me as a scapegoat for all their problems, took advantage of me, humiliated me, ruined my grad experience completely, ruined my life completely, backstabbed me when I defended them from being locked in jail, the list goes on. And I thought that they were my friends the whole time.

@GAMBIT I always am swearing under my breath when I hear their name, I’ve ripped, burned and destroyed every picture of them that I have, I avoid people who even look like them. All that’s left are the memories, which I hate and want to get rid of.

Emdean1's avatar

@mtl_zack I am sorry to hear that. They were never your friends. I like to call them posers or what can you do for me people. You are better off without them. So with all that negativity they caused you should make it easier to forget about them. Take that experience and use it to make your next few years better in college or whatever. Choose your friends wisely!

GAMBIT's avatar

@Mtl_zack – give it time. It is all apart of growing up. Next time you will know what type of friends you really want to have. I think everyone has gone through something similar when we thought someone was our friend and they turned out to be not the case.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

Time heals all wounds,and eventually, it wounds all heels. I experienced the same thing, and I had good memories of the people that recently stabbed me in the back. It just takes time, you have to make a conscious effort to move on, and work at forgetting what little shits that they were. You will never completely get rid of the memories of those sorts of idiots, but eventually they will stop hurting. The memories remain to remind you of the sorts of ‘little shits’ to avoid in the future.

Aethelwine's avatar

Everyone here has great advice. I might add that you are letting them win by torturing yourself like this. Learn from your mistakes, and eventually everything will get better. If you have a moment that reminds you of them, tell yourself that you will not let them hurt you anymore. You are in charge of your own happiness, not them.
Good luck. :)

dynamicduo's avatar

In that case, I really think you’d benefit from some professional therapy. Your ex-friends treated you really horribly, much more horribly than most people who get badly treated by friends. Having someone to talk to about your emotions and thoughts really helps. Good luck :)

Strauss's avatar

Some good advice from all. I would add this suggestion: find a way to take these negative experiences and learn something from them.

emt333's avatar

sounds alot like a case of this

marissa's avatar

If it has been a year and you are still this disturbed by what they did, I would suggest talking to someone that is trained in dealing with situations like this. An unbiased third party should be able to help you sort through all the emotions you still have milling around inside you. They should also be able to suggest good coping methods.
I don’t know your particular circumstance, but there should be options for help. A professional therapist, a clergy person, a school counselor (if you are in college or your former high school counselor would probably still see you, if you explained the situation).
Seeing someone about this might not sound like a very pleasant option to you, but it is better that you deal with this now, rather than spending the next 10 or more years struggling with this on your own. My heart goes out to you and I hope you are able to find peace.

augustlan's avatar

I agree that talking to a counselor may help you sort out your feelings and move past this painful episode in your life. In addition, remember that living well is the best revenge.

Mtl_zack's avatar

Sorry for the delay in an update.

I’ve seen a psychologist in the past, but we both agreed that I should stop seeing him because it makes me feel like they won, that they caused so much trauma that I went crazy. It’s one more thing that they can mock me about.

augustlan's avatar

How are you doing now, zack?

Mtl_zack's avatar

I’m ok. Whenever I walk by where they sit, I’m reminded of what they did to me. And I walk by their “spot” every day. It’s right under the stairs that are needed in everyday activities, so there’s no avoiding it. As for when someone who I do like acts like them, it effects me less than before. However, I have a deep fear of people who look like them. Like if I see someone who looks the same from a distance, I’ll turn around and walk away even though it’s not them.

It’s better than it used to be, but not completely gone. sigh

augustlan's avatar

Give it time, z. My thoughts are with you :)

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