How do you deal with it, when you're so overwhelmed you could cry, and it seems like there's no end in sight?

I go off into the bathtub, fill it full of warm water and bubble bath, and cry my eyes out. Then I go to bed. The next day I try to set some short term goals so I feel as if I am making progress, however slowly.

Sometimes I also eat chocolate.

suicide
find a way out it, pray , pray hard
look for help online, counselors, police
ignore negative people

find someone to trust, even if its not family members

I breathe, deep. I close my eyes and think of a better place. Put on some slow music and let it all out. I write.

@darwin – But what about when you don’t have time for the bathtub or bed because you have too much to do. If I could just go take a bath and go to bed, I would not be so overwhelmed I could cry. “progress, however slowly” and “so overwhelmed I could cry” are not the same thing for me.

@kevinhardy, i didn’t say i was going to kil myself, jesus. there’s no need to jump to such enormous conclusions!

Are you talking about school or work or both? Is it job stress?

@ Jeruba – Both, I’ve discovered that sometimes I fluther a lot more when I have absolutely no time to (like tonight), than when I have more time. I don’t know if that counts as “dealing with it” but it’s one way to respond I guess.

I remind myself of the law of diminishing returns.

You could push through and force yourself to keep going, but you will probably be way, way, way more productive if you give yourself a break—even if you think you can’t afford one.

A good meal and a good night’s sleep make a world of difference when it feels like you’re worn to your last threads.

Failing that, making a list helps—your tasks might be numerous, but they’re finite.

Good luck. You’ll get through this!

@La_chica_gomela, some things don’t have to be done. That is always going to be true.

If fluthering and other diversions are giving you a break, that’s good. If they are adding to your woes, then you have to think of what they cost you for the benefit you gain. Perhaps you need smaller but deeper rest stops.

I used to stress about my job a lot—heavy load, rushed deadlines, lots of pressure, high-tech madness. But now I say this to myself: “It’s just a job.”

I have to say that even more firmly now that everyone is so worried about getting laid off. I am very likely to, myself. But I will be worse off if I have stressed myself to breaking than if I maintain some detachment and take it as it comes. I have a plan B, but even if I didn’t, I would not be willing to let a job loom so large in my life that it could make me sick.

The other thing I say is, “They can’t hurt me.” They can deprive me of my livelihood, yes, but that’s about it. So there is really nothing to fear.

I wrote elsewhere here about my manager’s actually coaching me to lighten up. After several months, I caught on, and I don’t stress any more. I have learned to be detached and not get who I am confused with what I do. There aren’t many such managers in this world; I had one of the best.

However, some job stresses can’t be managed. My sister recently described to me a work situation of utter and total overwhelm, where as a recent hire she was the only weekend nurse on duty, charged with administering meds to nursing home patients on many prescriptions with complicated instructions. She went like crazy all day, alone and without relief, nonstop, and was unable to get through all of them. She said it was truly like her worst nightmare. After one day of that, she quit. Nothing I do has ever been important enough to have someone’s life depending on it.

I’m sorry you’re going through such a tough time, LCG. Please take care of yourself… otherwise you’ll find yourself burned out and of no use to anyone. Have a beer, listen to some nice music, Fluther for a while. Then go back to it refreshed. Good luck : )

pray, pray, pray

”... and this too shall pass!”

Fido.

I think of what the worst case scenario is, if I don’t get everything done or if the worst happens. I play the whole scenario through in my mind and come up with a detailed plan of what I would do if it (it being whatever the worst outcome could be)once I realize that even though it may be terribly difficult, I can still handle it, I then do what I can to get the tasks accomplished or prevent the worst. I remind myself that if people can survive terrible things like war/famine/etc, then I can survive this. ( I also agree with those that said pray and take a break to get some rest even if you don’t think you have the time to).

When I get overwhelmed at work, I take time to re-organize my space, make lists with time estimates, and then get my manager to prioritize the work. As for help. Figure out what you’re doing that’s not priority, and learn to say No. For me, this was the hardest thing to learn. People take no much better than you think they will. And there’s lots of good ways to say no, like, “I’d like to help you with that, but given my current workload, it will be about 6 weeks before I can start it.”

God

Some stresses need to be dealt with as though you were walking through a storm.
You just put your collar up, tuck your chin to your chest and plow forward.
In cases like that stopping for distractions loses the momentum you need.

In most other cases, you will do yourself some good by taking a break and giving your mind a chance to relax. If you have a heavy work load but can afford the breaks, then do so.
If you are worried about breaking for too long, then you might set a timer and say, “I’m only going to Fluther for 20 minutes”

@La_chica_gomela – I make time. I find one hour in the tub and a good night’s sleep will make a huge difference in my ability to cope. I can clearly see what I can skip doing versus what needs to be done, and I have the energy to get on with it.

I have truly been there, done that.

I find sitting on the couch with my daugher, hugging her and watching what ever she wants on tv is calming. It’s the best feeling. If life was only this easy.

I talk to my friends about it and more importantly, I sleep. Some days are just shitty days, my philosophy is to get them over with asap, sleep is the perfect solution and it is healing.

I mean this answer in all seriousness and not as a joke or a flip comment, and I understand that for some people this could violate a religious belief or a physically addictive medical condition, but I learned from a real expert, my mother, the benefits of a stiff drink when you walked in the door coming home from work.

Not six, just one. Not every night, but if you need it. A glass of wine or a can of beer work almost as well but the well chilled martini at six pm can dissipate the burdens of the day.

I am also fortunate at work in that I occupy and office with a door that can be shut and locked and no one except my boss comes in when that door is shut. I have had my bouts of depression and sometimes the meds aren’t enough and in the middle of the afternoon it gets to you and I will actually lock the door and let it out and have a good cry. Usually not for more than 30 seconds but the release is very theraputic.

And I am even more lucky in that I have a very good friend, known each other for 40 years, who works from home and can always spare ten minutes if I need to vent.

And there is always the option of walking around the parking lot a couple of times just to let off steam. It doesn’t work when it is raining but sometimes just ten minutes away from the desk and the pile of paper and the phone is sheer bliss.

SRM

YAHWEH

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate your support. I’m still in the middle of everything, and like I said, no end in sight, but I will get a break this weekend (hopefully, if I get enough done right now), and I’m just really trying to focus on that, and tell myself that this will be over soon (even though it’s not exactly true).

I think I must have not worded my question very well because everyone really focused on the taking a break or relaxing, but I meant what do you do when you don’t get to take a break or relax yet. If I could just make time, then I wouldn’t have been in that situation, and if I could just say “oh, no, sorry, I’m too busy to do that other thing right now” and if I could just go home and have a drink, then I wouldn’t be in the situation. I will definitely keep those things in mind for this weekend when I (keeps fingers crossed) will get to relax.