General Question

tara3845's avatar

Do you think its important to show your face on an online dating site?

Asked by tara3845 (35points) March 23rd, 2009
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

9 Answers

laureth's avatar

Yes. I can understand why people wouldn’t at first, though, since the world is full of crazy people, or because you don’t want a casual observer to realize it’s you. If you don’t show your face, though, I do think it’s a good idea to do so as soon as you and “the mysterious other” have any kind of rapport.

I would like to believe that we can be attracted to a person (what’s inside) rather than the outside of a person, but it’s a fact that not everyone is going to be attracted to everyone else. I wish I had a dollar for everytime I hit it off with someone (back when I was doing the dating site thing) who thought I was just great online, until they saw me in person. Then it was, “Well, I’m not really all that interested, actually, and maybe we can be friends.”

Having an actual picture cut down on that because they were free to take a pass before chatting me up and finding out what a swell person I am. ;) Less trouble for them, less trouble for me. They got someone (presumably) prettier, and I got someone deeper, so perhaps it was win-win.

So, in short, yes. It can clear up a lot of things to show at least something of what you look like.

dynamicduo's avatar

Yes I do.

When you’re meeting someone online, you are already devoid of the benefits of face to face conversation, including immediate clarification and subtle facial hints. Providing a photo can at least let you link the voice to the face in your brain. And honestly, to me, looks do matter a very small bit.

please_not_to_ask2's avatar

Not until you meet someone who seems promising. Why invite stalkers?

Cardinal's avatar

Maybe dynamic….....I’m not sure. A 37 y/o never married friend is on eHarmony and he will reject a person based solely on looks. I think he may be missing some really great women who may not fall into a ‘ten’ catagory. There is a lady I am very fond of that would never fall into his ‘acceptable looks catagory’ and she is a ‘ten’ in many other ways.

dynamicduo's avatar

@Cardinal – well then, your friend is shallow, and yes he’s missing out on a lot of good people. It’s no surprise he’s single never married.

I am not like your friend at all though. I would never reject a person solely because of the way they look. However, I feel someone is hiding something if they choose not to disclose a picture. I respect their ability to do so, of course, but it will have an effect on the way I perceive them.

nebule's avatar

if more people were honest at the outset there would be less pain in the world

Mr_M's avatar

Although it’s true that the picture you see is NOT necessarily a real picture of the person, so many people avoid putting a picture when they’re hiding something (age, gender, race, etc.). And there ARE a lot of scammers on those sites. I know someone who thought he was talking to a woman, only to find it was a MAN. The picture is no guarantee of course, but it helps. If the person is TOO gorgeous, watch out! It may be a scam.

daloonagain's avatar

As a person who is very insecure about his looks, I would be very uncomfortable putting my picture online. Then again, I’m not sure I’d use a dating site to meet people. It seems like you don’t have a chance to get to know someone very deeply before you have to move on to dating. I think a place like Askville would be better for dating. Back when I was behaving desperately (I was in the midst of a mania and didn’t know that I was mentally ill), I established a number of rather (virtually) intimate relationships without showing my face. Sometimes we would exchange pictures privately, but only after she insisted that looks would not change her feelings about me.

Not that it mattered. I could be Brad Pitt and believe I was ugly. And not just physically. I’m glad that’s over.

mally03's avatar

Even an avatar, is better than no pic, as you gain some insite to the persons personality.

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