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aviona's avatar

Does anyone have a positive breakup story?

Asked by aviona (3242points) March 29th, 2009

Does anyone have a positive breakup story to tell? Where both parties walked away unscathed, not heartbroken, mentally stable and in no need of therapy? No tears were shed, there was no violence, no screaming or yelling…maybe it was mutual?

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12 Answers

Jude's avatar

The longest relationship that I had was 10 years and she was also ten years older than I. During our time together, I grew up and became a different person (more mature) and basically we grew apart – emotionally/romantically. At the end, we were better friends than lovers, and, so, we both decided that it was time to move on.

She is one of my best friends; knows me more than anyone and we still care about each other a lot.

nebule's avatar

um….not yet…

Amoebic's avatar

I’d been seeing a guy for a couple of years, things had started to cool. He was so practical and pragmatic about the situation, and I was a blubbering mess. I was the one who brought up the change, and he suggested a nice parting. (With a history of tragic breakups, it wasn’t something I’d even thought of). We agreed that the honeymoon phase was over and that, although we’d cared about one another, the chemistry was totally gone. I think we were sad that it was over, but also glad to be move on. We laughed, cried, hugged, and parted ways.

laureth's avatar

First boyfriend. Two year anniversary (of considering ourselves a couple). Dinner date. Nice restaurant. Amethyst earrings. We realize that we both feel like we’re doing this thing out of obligation. Don’t really like each other anymore. Decide to call it quits, right there, at the restaurant, on the anniversary. (I kept the earrings, though.)

I won’t say there were no tears; there were some sentimental moments as we realized that our Big First Relationship was Over. But we had both moved on. And after several years, we were even able to be friends again.

He still wishes me a happy birthday and happy “anniversary” every year, even though this breakup happened 18 years ago.

jo_with_no_space's avatar

Yes! In the end, I turned my life around and have changed radically and for the better, through a slow process.

EmpressPixie's avatar

So, I’d realized it wasn’t going to work, but didn’t want to break up with her. I didn’t want to hurt her and wasn’t sure how to stay friends. We only got to talk a few nights a week because she worked late, I had to be up very early, and there were 1,000 miles between us. Monday, she kind of broached the subject just as I was getting off the phone. We wouldn’t have talked again until the next weekend. A girl she liked at work had asked her out for Wednesday, so she knew she had to work fast. I believe I was dumped via LiveJournal if I recall correctly. She went out that Wednesday, they had a great time. I started dating a guy I really liked about a month later.

I’m still with my guy—I love him. She’s with another girl who I think is probably great for her. (The first one was a mess.) I still talk to her all the time and we’re great friends.

I also got a text today from my first long-term boyfriend. We’ve kept in touch on and off. He’s getting married in four months and looking for a house and a job. (He has a job now, he just doesn’t love it.) Wished me good luck on my relationship and told me to feel free to gripe to him during grad school because he’s been there and it’s not a walk in the park. He also used to text me during college when something big went down—I was always in the middle of crazy bad weather and he just wanted to make sure I was okay. He’s really a sweet guy and our break up was half distance, half my starting college, and maybe half it being our second try at a relationship (yes, it was 3 halves).

aviona's avatar

HOW DO YOU DO IT @EmpressPixie ?!

EmpressPixie's avatar

Mutual desire for breakup. We both realized it wasn’t working out. We didn’t blame each other, we just broke up. I think it works easier when both people are ready and maybe even know it is coming—oh, and it’s not because you’ve realized they have some huge defect.

Edited to add: It seems like mutual realization worked for Laureth as well.

casheroo's avatar

hmmm, never. lol

i’ve ended sexual relationships easily, but no serious relationship has ever ended pretty for me :( it took time for the wounds to heal.

Jack79's avatar

Most of my breakups have been friendly, as one (or both) of us just moved on. In many cases the relationship was impossible due to distance. I’ve remained friends with almost all my ex girlfriends, and see a few of them regularly (socially though, not privately). I don’t see why two people who cannot be together sexually cannot at least be civil to each other.

Turtle's avatar

One of mine was exactly this. It came up unplanned in general conversation and we talked about how we felt like we were meant to be friends more than in a relationship – it felt like we were more like brother and sister, then continued hanging out like nothing happened. We are still best friends today and are very much alike. We are like family and it seems this is quite unusual. People always say they have never seen 2 people act like we do and such normal friends – you would never know we previously went out.

I think it’s cool – so uncomplicated.

ru2bz46's avatar

Well, I cannot say it was tear-free, but my first wife and I had been friends for several years before we ever dated. Once the spark struck, it was all over and we set out to build an empire together. We married two years later and got off to a decent start, but I think we may have put too many expectations on each other. We realized after six years of marriage that we just couldn’t hold the union together any more. We were starting to fight on a regular basis, and that was not where we wanted to be. We mutually decided to end it before we hated each other. We sat down on the couch together and divided our assets fairly. We drove to court and back home together. When all was over, we threw a party and invited our friends. It ended almost fifteen years ago, and we are best friends to this day.

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