General Question

adreamofautumn's avatar

Do you ever think about writing a "open in the event of my death" letter?

Asked by adreamofautumn (3983points) April 6th, 2009

I don’t mean a suicide note, I mean a letter just in case you get hit by a bus tomorrow. The type that says all the things you haven’t been able to bring yourself to say or contains things like your internet passwords and requests that people like fellow Jellies (that wouldn’t necessarily be informed) be informed.
On a related note, where would you keep it and what would you label the envelope?

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19 Answers

wundayatta's avatar

Nope. I would hope I could say everything I needed before I died.

On a related note, at dinner this evening, we had a discussion about what we would want for our death memorials. It was interesting. My daughter, joking, said she wanted to be buried in a wall of a house, and when the people who moved in smelled this weird smell, they’d open the wall to find her.

Where do they get these ideas? Poe?

dynamicduo's avatar

Nah. If I have anything important to say, I say it to that person without hesitating. I feel such sentiments have more value when spoken than if put off to a note to be read when dead. Plus, this ensures that if the person dies before I do, they know how I feel.

DrBill's avatar

Yes, already have one. It tells everyone where the will is, and other paperwork, accounts, etc that will be needed.

Of course I plan to never die, and so far I’ve made it.

catinthehat's avatar

Yes I have & writing it cleared up many things in me emotionally as I sat struggling to figure out what needed to be said to whom.

Death is always to our left, about to tap us—prepare for that dying day, it’s coming!

VzzBzz's avatar

I make one every time I go out of town.

aviona's avatar

No, I guess since I’m young.

A couple people who are close to me know what song I would want played at any kind of service that would be held in the event of my death. It’s very significant to me.

I have written suicide letters, though. Finding them later is pretty weird.

essieness's avatar

Never thought of it, but that’s a great idea. I would want my family to be able to shut down my Facebook and alert my online friends on other sites like Fluther and Twitter and all that. It would be super weird to just disappear and those people not know what happened to me. Yeah, I’m writing one soon. Thanks for the idea!!

psyla's avatar

I’ve written over 50,000 assorted papers, logs, diaries, and manuscripts that basically all describe my private feelings about nearly everyone I’ve known, including a number of my Fluther friends. This collection is in a secret locked room in the attic of an apartment, a letter to the landlord will be mailed out in the event of my demise.

Dog's avatar

Yes- I wrote one for each of my kids and spouse. Also have one for family starting off with “I hope I didn’t die in a way that will be remembered more than my contributions in life”

It also has humor in it. It just seems to me that I should be able to choose my last communication with those I love.

cak's avatar

I have one for my family – something I won’t share, but it’s there. Not long, something simple. I also have a list – accounts, information, policies, all of that stuff – even school stuff.

I’ve been sick with cancer for several years. There is very little we leave to chance. Hopefully, that feeling will start to change, at least a little bit.

SuperMouse's avatar

@cak here’s a big hug and prayers that that feeling with start to change – maybe even a lot!

I don’t have a letter, but I do think about my kids reading through all the journals I have kept over the years. They are going to learn a thing or two about the boring old mother!

cak's avatar

@SuperMouse – Things are getting better! Thank you! I’m sure they are going to find a very interesting person, in those journals. :)

Lupin's avatar

My mother wrote a letter to my brother and me before she died of cancer 39 years ago. Apparently, she asked him to keep it for us with their will so we could read it when he died. My father remarried and passed away about 10 years ago and our truly wonderful step-mother gave us the letter.
Mom knew she was dying but wanted to leave a message for us if both parents were gone. I can’t imagine what she must have felt.
What a magical gift…

cak's avatar

@Lupin – What an amazing person your mother was, truly amazing. Wonderful step-mom, too!

Lupin's avatar

Absolutely! My dad knew how to pick them.
My mother even bought stock in 1967 and 1968 and had the small dividend check come to us. I still get a check quarterly and say “Thanks Mom!” when I sign it.
I wrote a letter to my kids when I first went overseas. I also read kid books into a CareBears tape recorder. Fortunately the boys never had to read it or listen to my voice.

cak's avatar

@LupinI am so glad your children did not have to hear your voice on the tape (bonus points for using a CareBear tape recorder!), it’s not an easy thing to do – sit there and write or read something, in case of some tragic event, but it is done out of love. Hey – Mom is still giving! Super nice, Mom!

Thanks for sharing!

Lupin's avatar

@cak And Thank you for sharing and understanding! I can’t see my keyboard…

PastorJeff's avatar


It’s OK to have a living will. When they do a surgical procedure at the VA hospital, they always ask if you want to write a living will and who will make the decisions in case of something unfortunate happening to you.

So yeah, it is OK.

Dog's avatar

@PastorJeff Welcome to Fluther!

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