Why is having sex for money frowned upon?

Putting a price on it “cheapens” it. Sex between two people who actually want to have sex with each other is priceless.

The question is whether the person providing the sex would do it if they had other options in supporting themselves. The disparity in power between the consumer and provider of these services is enormous, usually. So there is a feeling of coercion, even if the provider just is earning a living. Even if she (or he) believes they are doing it of their own free will.

However, it is difficult to make something verboten on such grounds. So people use notions of morality to make it bad. Still, if the provider and client are truly equal, and provider is doing it because they like the work. I have no problem with it.

@ru2bz46, There are so many things that cheapen sex these days. Friends with benefits. Hookups. There are so many times when it is just a couple of people helping each other get off and there is no feeling behind it. What’s the difference if one person pays the other?

If there’s money involved, it makes the first assumption a lot shakier. Money tends to mean duress or coercion; people will do things for money that they won’t do otherwise.

As @daloon notes, if it really is something they both want to do, there’s really nothing wrong with it. But generally when you’re trading money for sex, it’s not something both people really want to do.

Are we speaking of the United States here, specifically…English-speaking countries…what? I see your tags include both third and first world, so just in general?

because they are having sex for money
Is nothing sacred anymore?
Can the woman not find an actual job? check craigslist, there are plenty.

Because, perhaps, it is the most intimate and loving act possible for two individuals.

In theory, I have no problem with it. In so much as a person owns his or her body, they have the right to do with what they please.

For some reason people see sex as something sacred instead of animal instinct. People are told their bodies are pure and sex defiles it.

Sex is like any other thing we do for money. I give my time and my body to my employer just like a prostitute does. In my opinion, people do a lot grosser things with their employment than have sex.

Having said all that, I always wonder if given an opportunity to have a different career prostitutes would choose otherwise.

@daloon With friends+, hookups, just getting off, etc., there is still the mutual desire to have sex with each other (yeah, it’s cheap too, but not as cheap). In a paid transaction, the seller likely would not have engaged in the act if not for the money. It becomes a shelf item, like creamed corn, or something.

Absolutely nothing is wrong/dirty/immoral with that situation, @nikipedia.

The conditions surrounding prostitution would increase greatly if it were legalized and licensed such as any other skilled profession. This is clearly demonstrated in New Zealand.

Because it further soils the already soiled sacredness of sex.

Um, yeah, please ignore this—hitting the backspace key sometimes sends you to the wrong question instead of deleting your letters. ><

I think wondering if the sex worker would do something else if they had a chance is a separate issue from whether or not this is doing something to how ‘sacred’ (what is that anyway?) sex is…people have reactions of disgust most of the time to prostitutes not because they give 2 craps about the income disparities between genders or races that’d lead some people into sex work but because they think that they’d somehow would NEVER do such a thing ‘cause they, like, you know, like, respect themselves and all that…after all, if they did care about the social conditions surrounding sex work, there’d be more disgust with those conditions and not the people involved…and futhermore, @qualitycontrol assuming that it’s always women does nothing to help the situation…and craigslist? yeah, there’s a place for ‘moral’ jobs

It cheapens the act. What is supposed to be an act of passion is reduced to a mere monetary transaction for services.

You absolutely can never assume that someone who has sex for money has no STD’s.
The more partners a person has, the chances of exposure to a disease go up exponentially. Disease is one of the main factors on why cash for sex is so frowned upon and it should never be counted out, even for the sake of argument.

In theory, I don’t have much of an issue about this. If you have (and can maintain) a healthy relationship to men, money and sex; it really shouldn’t be an issue.

But I would guess that, more
often than not, your
relationship to one or more of
those is a little askew.

The necessity to possess money itself can be coercive.

There are just certain things that have proven to be detrimental to humanity. You might as well ask why society frowns on parents selling their children? After all some women love to have babies (think surrogates) and adoptive parents are willing to pay huge sums of money to adopt, why not let the market decide? Obviously it is not in the best interests of society no matter if all concerned are amenable or not. We also don’t allow people in the US to sell their body parts. If someone is desperate for money they may do any number of detrimental things.

religion

If one chooses to engage in such behavior,
it is of their own violition,
If their is coersion, it is criminal,
If protection is not used,
This is dangerous and irresponsible,
Potentially deadly,
Potentially criminal.
We all have to answer for our transgressions,
But this is by degree, and there is forgiveness
for consensual actions more so than coerced, certainly.
Also, how about willingly engaging in unprotected
sex while knowingly affected with the HIV virus?
This, I believe, is murder.

I can’t judge people who have sex for money. But for me, sex is such intimate behavior that I couldn’t imagine exposing my self repeatedly like that for money.

When people judge, they’re extrapolating what they’d do and how they conduct themselves to the idea that all other people must behave as they do, but that’s not necessarily the case. Everyone lives under different circumstances and has different abilities and needs… I may not be able to be do that, but I can’t judge someone who can or does.

First of all, the person whom I consider to be both the funniest and one of the smartest people (as it relates to human nature) to ever walk the planet, George Carlin, said, “selling isn’t illegal…fucking isn’t illegal…why should selling fucking be illegal.” And I have to agree. Now, we have some very clear arguments against this which have either been espoused or pointed out:

1) Morality – there are many arguments against the morals of having sex for money, but what they all boil down to is one’s personal morality. Why is our society OK with pornography for example…people are getting paid to have sex. Generally, if you take a moral stance against prostitution, by necessity (if you don’t want to be a hypocrite), you must also take a stance against pornography. Furthermore, many times sex is used as non cash currency….how many women have given a guy some form of sexual gratification primarily to get something…it’s prostitution just the same. It’s really a matter of whether or not what you’re giving up is worth what you’re getting in return, and basically, even if it’s a sin and you’re going to Hell, well, that’s your choice. If you truly believe that, then don’t do it, but I am not personally affected when a guy in my town picks up a hooker, I have no part in it, and I disagree with anyone telling them they can’t because it’s against their morals…because though it may be against YOUR morals, who’s to say it’s against THEIRS? Whose call should that be.

2) It cheapens lovemaking…well technically fucking and making love aren’t the same thing…by the same token it can be argued that fucking cheapens lovemaking, so are we going to outlaw fucking? This again is a personal decision….if you have meaningless sex with someone, does it mean that the next time you make love to someone, that act is less valuable…if so, then don’t have meaningless sex. But this is not the case for everyone. Even if it does cheapen future sexual encounters for the participants, that’s again their decision that they have to live with, not you, not your damn business. And again, how is two people you don’t know having meaningless sex cheapening your future lovemaking? No rational argument can be made to satisfy that point.

3) Economic inequality. People have brought up that the prostitute may not exactly be willing to have sex, but money introduces an element of power and therefore its an exploitation. Um, so I take it none of you who made this argument has ever had a JOB? That’s what a JOB is…doing things that you probably wouldn’t choose to do if your time was your own in exchange for money. Who has the power in your relationship with your boss…you, or your boss? It’s a choice….yes, it’s a choice some might not choose to make if they had a better alternative….strippers, garbagemen, and the guy who pumps out septic tanks probably would all choose a different way to make money if they could find one that paid as well.

4) The “law enforcement” reasons. It spreads disease. It happens among a certain element of people prone to other criminal activity. It leads to human trafficking. All valid, problem is, these are symptoms of prostitution being illegal. Let’s tackle these one by one.

Disease – well, first enough, it’s a shame our public education system can’t convince people that unprotected sex with someone they don’t know isn’t a good idea, and there are certainly things our government could, in my opinion, do to solve that problem so that consumers were informed. But many who choose to have unprotected sex with a sex worker are knowingly and willingly taking their lives into their own hands…such is the thrill of having unprotected sex, so much more do they enjoy the act, that they are willing to assume the risks. We can not make some things illegal because some subset of humanity can not control itself. This is essentially the same argument against drugs such as marijuana which are far less harmful than alcohol and smoking combined (yet far less legal). We need to give people the info and let them make their own choices, and they then must bear the responsibility for the consequences of their actions. Bottom line is you can’t legislate a vice…if someone wants to do it, they will do it. But there is living breathing evidence in this country and many others that if you make prostitution legal, and regulate it, so that mandatory weekly tests are done and prostitutes NEVER work “without a net”, you cut down on that. Yes, there will always be people who are able to find strangers to have sex with who won’t insist on protection, no matter what you do, and whether prostitution is legal or not, there will be those willing to pay to take those risks…fuck em, let em all die and clean out the gene pool. As long as those of us who do have regard for our health and well being don’t start screwing around without protection, it doesn’t affect us.

Now, that it promotes or co-exists with other criminal activity. For one drugs, and drug trafficking. Well again, prohibiting certain recreational drugs vs legalizing and regulating them is an outmoded idea which costs billions in lost tax revenue, and causes our prisons to become overcrowded, and the economically disadvantaged to turn to criminal exploits to selling drugs, because their verboten status, much like prostitution, makes them a black market good which can fetch a large amount of money with very low overhead for one willing to assume the risks. Prostitution often makes a mint for pimps who do coerce vulnerable women into prostitution through emotional blackmail and then take all the money for themselves. Many sell drugs as well, and run with gangs who steal, murder, rape, do all sorts of things that are not good for society. But we have a situation where making things like drugs and prostitution illegal can give any morally corrupt person an ample supply of black market futures on which to make a mint. This leads to gangs and violence to control turf, and the original problem (that two people might be cheapining the sex act by putting a $ sign on it), is now causing teenagers to get shot in drive bys or be sold into prostitution. In short, I don’t think making it illegal makes less prostitution, it makes more, so ironically the people who have the biggest problem with prostitution would actually have a world closer to their ideal if they’d give up on criminalizing it.

Now the main thing though is human trafficking, and that as I alluded to is the big problem for law enforcement, and for me as well. The main reason I’d never go to a hooker (at least not one I’d found on the street or on Craig’s List), even if I were single, horny and had plenty of money is this…so many of these women are young girls who were lured away from their families, or picked up on the street after having run away…they meet a smooth talking man who convinces them he loves them and has their best interests at heart, and he essentially brainwashes them into thinking that they’re the “daddy” now, and they are doing the right thing by having sex with several men a day and giving most of that money over to “daddy” who takes care of her expenses. That or at times women are even recruited from overseas to come to a job in the US, and when they get there and think they’re going to be washing dishes as part of some cooperative exchange program, they get sold into sex slavery and will be murdered if they say anything. And the quickest way to stop this? Legalize it, put up brothels like they have in rural Nevada all over this country…no man would have to be more than 20 minutes from a paid sex opportunity. And no woman working in there would be working in unsafe conditions (she’d be having sex right on the property with security so a man couldn’t beat her up or kill her and no one would be the wiser), she’d be tested for diseases every week and would never work without a condom, she would be able to refuse any client for any reason, she’d be able to set a price that she felt was fair, and she’d earn a better living than most women. The tax revenues on this could wipe out our national debt and would more than pay for any of the social symptoms that might arise…i.e. a woman gets too old or has another reason to want to get out of he business, some of those tax revenues could help her get training and/or education to get a different career.

If we did this, you’d have some men choosing to cheat on their wives who wouldn’t have ever had the opportunity if there hadn’t been whorehouses, but you know, it’s up to each of us to decide whether or not to be faithful to our spouses, that’s not the government’s job. You’d still have guys who chose to find streetwalkers because they wouldn’t want to have to wear a rubber, but the demand for prostitution would pretty much be limited to this type of client, and therefore it wouldn’t be quite so lucrative for pimps, and most of these women would actually have the choice, and wouldn’t be coerced into it, and law enforcement would have a lot more time to look for people who traffic if they didn’t have to do stings to pick up every hooker and john, and then pay to house them in jail overnight.

Bottom line, it’s a bunch of puritanical bullshit, just like a lot of things in this country. There are myriad ways to justify the status quo, and the fact that it IS the status quo is what makes it so hard to change…..people are at their core afraid of change, particularly social change of the kind that will completely redefine how you have to look at something. It’s much like gay marriage….really to me, that’s a human rights issue, you should be able to sign a contract to share survivorship, ownership and parenting rights with whomever you want, it’s in fact a more humane system that would allow this than one which would take a person who has built a life with someone for decades and have them shut out on their life partner’s death. But people don’t see gays as married couples, so they have to redefine it in their minds, and that takes time. But they use these arguments about how it’s going to lead to x, y and z and how it cheapens the institution of marriage and yada yada yada, but really, most things people think it’s going to lead to are imagined/hysterical and the consequences are far outweighed by the benefits, and as for cheapening marriage, that’s the same as saying, well, if two people who don’t know each other fuck, then my lovemaking isn’t as important. It’s a bullshit smokescreen for people to hide behind because the concept is too different from what most of us are used to for us to imagine existing in a world like that, and therefore, we much justify our irrational fears with things that at least sound plausible.

Because it objectifies women.

There are plenty of male prostitutes.

Because sex is intrinsically kind of bizarre and marginally disgusting, so you wouldn’t really want to do it with someone you don’t trust with your soul.

I made that up.

I have no problem with people getting paid for sex. So many people today give it up for free, or a few drinks at the bar. They might as well make some money off it if they choose to. A lot of people will still do it for free anyway because once you put the label “prostitution” on it then they think it becomes wrong, even though it’s still the same behavior.

Not wrong, but then again, not for everyone. Kind of like Vegemite.
As long as the sex workers take precautions and vigourously monitor their health, why not? “Stimulate” the economy, by all means.

@qualitycontrol and you can get plenty of those kind of jobs on craigslist too!

That’s like paying someone else to sing happy birthday to your kid…. LAME. It removes all emotion from it.. making it nothing more than a function to the buyer.

@AlfredaPrufrock
but that’s not why people think it’s bad
i wish that were the reason you know?

There is nothing “wrong” with being a legal whore in Holland, Germany or Nevada. It’s a (disgusting, but legal) “profession.”

Next question?

It should only be frowned upon if the job had to be taken for the lack of alternatives or some kind of fraud is involved. @Zen mentioned Germany and Holland. There are illegal groups luring eastern European women into the west, telling them about great opportunities, for example when working in a hotel. They take away their documents and threaten them they would get in serious trouble with the police if they are not obedient.

Because sexual pleasure is tied in to the belief that it is based on mutual desire, that the other person has some interest in you, sees something in you. Even if the attraction is purely physical, you can at least carry the illusion that it is based on more. When you pay for sex, there can be no illusion. It becomes a purely physical act based on a commercial transaction.

@mattbrowne I assumedmost people are familiar with the nightmarish activities that are part and parcel of the industry. Everywhere in the world. Horrific. Must be stopped!

i don’t know. we cheapen just about everything in the world by putting a price on it, so i couldn’t tell you why sex is any different. i also think it’s strange that we (as a whole, in america, in general) look down on prostitution because sex is supposed to be about love, but same-sex marriage was voted to be illegal, disregarding love.

i’m writing an argument essay in favor of gay marriage right now, please excuse me for these random and almost irrelevant quips

It is frowned upon because the government can’t keep track of your wages for tax reasons! You are supossed to claim all wages, including cash transactions!

The govt can keep track of our income just fine. When the criminal justice system can’t put organized crime figures behind bars, the IRS will. The argument that sex workers make a good money is totally specious. Marilyn Chambers who worked in porn for 30 years died in a SoCal trailer park. Prostitutes live very poor lives with pimps, legal fees and drugs taking most of their earnings.

Most of them yes, I was making a joke! Kinda like “Don’t steal, the Government hates the competition!” I live in Nevada for about 8 years, Those girls are making some serious money on their backs. Most of them are making $75,000.00 or more. Yes, those are the actual numbers released by the state. No drugs, condoms a must and monthly blood tests. I know most “call girls” are not that lucky in less they get into a Heidi Fleiss situation. But, it is the world oldest profession.

Heidi Fleiss is not a good example of success. She not only lost everything she earned, she spent time in jail, she brought her father down financially and now she is a raddled addict and the butt of dirty jokes.

Also an accountant can make more than than a Nevada prostitute, according to your figures. Even a teacher would make more over a lifetime than a pro. After all you make more the longer you teach. I can guarantee a 50 yo accountant will be knocking down $100,000 while a 50 yo hooker will be living in an SRO and eating at a mission.

I’d like that guarantee in writing, please.

(old) Age discrimination affect All professions,

Exceptions: family business, governments with quotas,
mafia/nepotism, (see democratic politics and republican)
and professions that do not have much face to face contact.

You left out Wal-mart. Weren’t we talking about prostitutes? More whore-talk, pretty please.

@tinyfaery
Of course…who can forget Fred Garvin. male prostitute..

Sex for money is nothing but semantics. You have sex with your wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, or what ever. There is a price you pay for that. In that example, you go through a few more steps to get it. And, you might hide the transfer of funds in a car or dinner and a movie.

Sex without love is purely visceral and temporary, all need love whether it is accepted only from a stranger or from a life partner.

I don’t frown upon it- If you appreciate honestly, you’ll appreciate paying for sex.

The last time you hooked up with some girl purely for sex, how much time and money did you spend with her and on her respectively?

i meant ‘honesty’ not ‘honestly’, but it was too late to edit my post, sorry

The same reason most things that are frowned upon are:

Not everyone can get away with it.

These days it is frowned on because people still try to keep some special mystique in sex. People will believe it will become a cheap commodity, as it already has, if it can be bartered and sold like cars and electronics. Sadly, many do not know that ship has sailed already.