General Question

live_rose's avatar

What do you do when your mom friends you on facebook?

Asked by live_rose (1223points) April 20th, 2009

My mom friended me on facebook . . .I couldn’t ignore her obviously so now she’s a friend of mine but now I feel like I cant update my facebook like I want to I cant really fill out my status the way I want without having her commenting in a motherly way, she comments on everything I do. What should I do? Should I make a new facebook? Or just deal?

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27 Answers

Judi's avatar

I friended my kids and my nieces and nephews too. It makes them think twice about what they put out there for the world to see.

Likeradar's avatar

There are different privacy settings you can use for individual friends.

Also, you should maybe think about how you’re presenting yourself to the world, not just to your mom.

aviona's avatar

Ugh. My parents don’t have Facebook (and never will), but a lot of my friends’ parents do and my aunt does and old teachers, etc. They’ve added me.
What I do is just set my privacy settings so they can’t see my pictures. I like a lot of the photos on there and don’t want to untag them, but I don’t want my 8th grade science teacher to see them, necessarily. They’re a little incriminating.

WTF happened to Facebook being a place for college students? Or at least young people?

Facade's avatar

Why couldn’t you deny the request?
My dad is on FB, but he hasn’t requested friendship.

joybells34's avatar

Personally, that would have upset me when I was your age but now that I am a mother myself I would do the same thing. I always want my son to know that I am aware of everything he is or is not doing. I wouldn’t think of it as snooping on your mothers part. Plus, if you have nothing to hide it shouldn’t bother you at all.

live_rose's avatar

Just to explain my ordeal in more detail Im not putting up pictures of me drinking or smoking (I dont really) or me scantily clad I just bitch sometimes about stuff that I just want my friends to comment on and my mom wouldn’t understand or she would take out of contex

sandystrachan's avatar

You run and die .

Your mom probably doesn’t even go on facebook much anyway or she just doesn’t look at your page

live_rose's avatar

@Facade because she did request me and told me so it’d seem mean to deny her

adreamofautumn's avatar

Privacy settings! Privacy settings! Just turn off the things you don’t want her to be able to see!

GMO's avatar

if you feel uncomfortable having your mother seeing your facebook profile, you should reevaluate what you post online. as employers frequent profiles to learn about candidates, and who knows who else?

live_rose's avatar

@sandystrachan my mom now loves facebook shes on it everyday and she visits mine everyday

adreamofautumn's avatar

My best advice if you’re going to use facebook at all is serious privacy settings. Make it un-searchable, un-clickable, don’t join “city” networks or any network that isn’t just your university. Make sure people have to friend you to see it at all. It’s the best way to stay out of awkward situations and still keep in contact with your friends.

SeventhSense's avatar

M.I.L.F. call..

KatawaGrey's avatar

@live_rose: How old are you? I’m 20 years old and I don’t have any pictures of me drinking or smoking or doing anything incriminating, but I understand how you feel. If you are at college and away from home, you should be able to put stuff on your facebook without fear of your mother using stuff against you.

Why does everyone seem to think live_rose has bad stuff on her profile? Maybe she just simply doesn’t want her mother knowing every aspect of her life. I certainly don’t want my mom to look at my facebook because there is stuff on there she deems inappropriate. I have my privacy settings very high and my facebook name is not my real name. Would any of you want your parents in every facet of your life?

live_rose's avatar

@KatawaGrey That’s exactly it Im 19 and I use my facebook to talk with my friends i don’t talk to my friends in front of my mom the way I do when Im off at college it’s not that i have pictures and i dont say stuff thats too ridiculous or bad just stuff that I want to say to my friends and not my mom I just want a little bit of privacy.

Judi's avatar

@KatawaGrey ;
But Facebook is a public forum. Why would anyone put something on facebook if they want it kept private?

KatawaGrey's avatar

@Judi: It’s not about being kept private it’s about keeping one person from seeing it, that one person being your own mother. Do you tell your mother everything? Does your mother know every facet of your life? My mother being able to see my facebook profile would be like if she was able to walk into my dorm room any time she wanted. I don’t accept people if I don’t want them seeing my profile, but it’s different when your mother sends you a friend request.

seekingwolf's avatar

Privacy settings are your friends.

My mom’s on facebook and although I don’t have any crazy pics or anything it still makes me feel uncomfortable. My friends and I debate sensitive topics in the notes and I’m not sure if I want my mom actually reading all of all our discusions. I just block those from her but she can see my status and everything else. I don’t mind.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Your mom probably just wants to be in your life. I recommend everyone make their Facebook private. So many people post pictures of themselves at parties getting all tanked and behaving in ways they dont want their moms to see but its just a matter of time.

Either your mom is going to see it or one of your mom’s friends is going to see it. It’s a small world.

Dog's avatar

Look at this LINK

You can set up the privacy settings via groups and persons and block what you do not wish her to see.


veronasgirl's avatar

My mother recently did this to me. She thinks that I am dating someone secretly and failing classes…which I am not. I friended her because I have nothing to hide. She can stalk me on facebook all she wants and not find anything incriminating…plus privacy settings work wonders ;-)

casheroo's avatar

My parents, aunts and uncles, and cousins are on mine. I didn’t have an issue with my cousins being on, but now I am hesitant with my other family members on there. I don’t do anything inappropriate, but I feel I have to watch my language lol. I know, sounds silly, but I usually cuss like a sailor..even when writing, so I refrain myself. Maybe that’s a good thing though.

unused_bagels's avatar

depends on how old you are. When I was in HS, no way would I friend my mom. Now that I’m older, what is she going to do? She’s lightened up nowadays and sees me as more of a peer, so the lewd comment or stupid joke is usually shrugged off by my mother.

Darwin's avatar

My daughter asked me to friend her so she could share photos with me. I accepted so I can do the same. She is currently 16, so we aren’t talking as adult to adult, but as mom and daughter.

Some of her friends have friended me, too.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Put your mother into a created group for family members and restrict what that group can see.

figbash's avatar

Definitely learn about the ins and the outs of the privacy settings because you can also use them for exes or weird people from your past you don’t mind having on there, but don’t want to interact with on a daily basis.

When my mom and dad friended me, I gave them the caveat that if they buy the ticket, they take the ride. I’m in my thirties and I’m not going to censor what I say, or what my other friends say on the site and I told them that. I’m kind of private anyway, so I just keep my updates and posts lighthearted and funny.

robmandu's avatar

The following is not a recommendation. But an explanation of one possibility that is deceptive, yet could be functional. Probably not good to use on your mom or other family, but for an old ex who keeps bugging you, it might be better.

Accept the friendship. Then remove her as a friend.

She gets notice that you accepted her. But FB does not send notice when you remove someone as a friend (or if you deny the request in the first place.)

If she ends up noticing that she cannot post to your wall or something, then feign ignorance. “Huh, that’s weird. Let’s try friending again and see if that fixes it.”

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