General Question

Dansedescygnes's avatar

Have you, to the best of your memory, ever had sexual feelings/thoughts for someone of the same sex?

Asked by Dansedescygnes (2881points) April 21st, 2009

Or opposite sex if you’re gay?

As for me, I can not think of an instance when I had sexual feelings/thoughts for someone of the opposite sex. I don’t recall ever being attracted to a girl in that way. This is why I think it is safe for me to say that I am “completely” homosexual. Doesn’t mean that I will deny feeling an attraction to a girl if I ever do feel one, but up to this point, I have never felt one.

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44 Answers

ragingloli's avatar

not anyone who isn’t drawn.

Likeradar's avatar

Sure. There are some really sexy, lovely women out there. I definitley don’t feel any desire to get up in lady bits, but I can appreciate an attractive, sexy person no matter what sex or gender they are.

oratio's avatar

Counter question: Is being homosexual about sex, or is it if you can fall in love with a person of the same sex?

I see myself as straight, but I know I would enjoy having sex with certain guys i’ve met, and I would do it if they wanted to. Nothing I am pursuing, but It would be great. But I don’t think I could fall in love with a guy.

Dansedescygnes's avatar


It’s both. Just as heterosexuality is both as well. Yes, the terms are mostly used to mean the pure sexual attraction, but in terms of human attraction, both are a factor.

oratio's avatar

@Dansedescygnes Ok. Well, I don’t see myself as bi-sexual either, since I never fantasize about gay sex. But I guess the answer to your question is yes.

I find it strange though in a sense, that gay men feel no attraction to women at all, since there are few people who are so obsessed with the female form as gay men. But that may be.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I fell in love with a woman some years ago, I love her to this day and though we could easily have become lovers, I decided against it because I knew I wouldn’t be able to put aside my greater desire to ultimately partner with a man. This is one aspect of our friendship we don’t discuss anymore but we do feel fortunate to still be part of one another’s lives, whomever else passes through.

girlofscience's avatar

Yes, I have had sexual feelings/thoughts about women, despite the fact that I am straight. Oh well.

berocky1's avatar

ummm. well. you can’t really define someone as exclusively homosexual or heterosexual.

tinyfaery's avatar

Nope. Can’t say I have. :)

Dansedescygnes's avatar


Um, well, you’re talking to one right here. You think I’m lying? :)

berocky1's avatar

no. i didn’t say you weren’t! but. i don’t like to classify myself as exclusively homosexual. because you never know!!

adreamofautumn's avatar

I’ve had feelings for people that are not in accordance with my defined sexuality. I think it’s just normal to love people for people, but in the end you will lean more heavily one way or another.

Dansedescygnes's avatar


And you shouldn’t feel like you have to. But for my own purposes, I classify myself as that because of the fact that I have not yet felt an opposite-sex attraction. If something changes, then I will change what I refer to myself as.

berocky1's avatar

@Dansedescygnes okay awesome! goodfayou!

oratio's avatar

@Dansedescygnes That depends. In the docu “Religulous” I heard that the church has cured several homosexuals, so if you take half the treatment, you could go to all the clubs in town.~

aviona's avatar

Yes. I’ve had some girl crushes and gotten pretty close to acting upon them in some cases. Nothing too intense, though.

I still believe that sexuality is a sliding scale. Although I’ve only dated and had sex with guys, that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m straight. I don’t know.

SeventhSense's avatar

I never looked at a man as anything other than competition. I’ve had a few gay friends but they’ve always had this annoying trait of assuming every guy is just in denial about sexual attraction to dudes. But quite frankly, I’ve never looked at a dude and been like, ooh i need a slice. Now two girls together..well that’s just hot-especially the real curvy ones.
I love women. period.

Likeradar's avatar

@berocky1 Can’t you though? I’m a believer in the kinsey scale, but people who are rated a 0 or a 6 are exclusively hetero or homosexual, right? (or did you mean “someone” as in all people and I’m asking a stupid question?)

SeventhSense's avatar

<——110% heterosexual

SeventhSense's avatar

Of course it bears repeating for the collective that there are some significant heterosexual rules of bathroom etiquette on which rests the continuation of civilization as we know it.

benjaminlevi's avatar

I am highly suspicious of anyone’s claim that they have actually never had any sexual thoughts toward someone of their own sex. It sounds very denial-ish.

tinyfaery's avatar

@benjaminlevi In case you were talking to me, I was just being facetious.

Dansedescygnes's avatar


Well, I mean, all I can say is what I’ve felt. If people don’t believe me, they can go ahead and not believe me, but I know my own feelings. I’m not really out to convince people.

SeventhSense's avatar

—You must know my gay friends. I would never say to them, come on you’ve never thought about a chick? It’s like get over it As far as I’m concerned, as regards me

_bob's avatar

@Likeradar, @girlofscience and @aviona Could you tell us more about it?


aviona's avatar

My mom has some lesbian friends (so do I, but they’re older, more experienced, in more stable relationships) and she once asked one of them “How did you know?” And she answered, “Well, you pretty much have to really want to go down there!”
Now, I’m not like dying to go down on a girl, but the idea doesn’t necessarily repulse me. I kind of feel the same way about it as I do about going down on some random guy…

so if the right person came along, male or female, I could see it happening. A female has yet to come into my life, though.

The strongest feelings I had towards a girl was about 2 years ago. I had a boyfriend at the time and so did she. We were all friends. She is extremely gorgeous, hot and this is a well-known fact by, well, pretty much everyone. She has these crazy cat-like eyes and looks like she could beat you up and fuck you at the same time. But she also has this gentle air about her. Hard to explain. Anyway, sort of awkward seeing as we were all friends and in straight relationships. Her boyfriend knew about my feelings for her and thought it was cute and funny. So did my boyfriend. I guess a foursome crossed our minds, but of course we thought it would ruin friendships. None of it really ever got talked about very openly. I just felt a connection to her and like it was mutual. I don’t think our boyfriends would have minded if we had done anything, but again, she and I never talked about our emotions openly.

There was one night (maybe New Year’s eve?) where she invited me upstairs in some really ambiguous way. I knew it wasn’t to “Go eat ravioli” like she said. I remember thinking to myself “This could be it.” I had since broken up with said boyfriend. The reason I don’t remember it very well is because I was really fucked up…on like 4 different substances and on my way out the door. The reason I didn’t take advantage of the situation is because I was so…not in my right mind. It just didn’t seem right.

_bob's avatar

@aviona You don’t by any chance got pictures, do ya?

wundayatta's avatar

This is hard for me to answer. There was a time when I thought I ought to be able to love anyone, including members of my own sex. It was kind of a political thing. Eventually I tried it with my best friend, whom I did love, and who is gay, although at the time, it wasn’t clear.

I discovered that I really didn’t like it. Women are my cup of tea. Men, not really. Still, I felt like I was cool in a way. Since I’d tried it, I could never be accused of being a closet case. I also didn’t have to fear having a guy come on to me. I knew I’d be pretty convincing about not being interested.

At the same time, I don’t think I’ve had sexual feelings for my gender. It was all theoretical. Unfortunately, the theory didn’t have any supporting evidence; at least, not in my case. And really, that’s the only case I know.

Darwin's avatar

I had a major crush on my camp counselor when I was in 6th grade, but nothing ever came of it. Her name was George so possibly she leaned towards being attracted to girls, but I was a kid and one of her charges, and she was not stupid.

Otherwise I am pretty much attracted to the opposite sex.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

you bet your sweet ass

benjaminlevi's avatar

@tinyfaery Wasn’t directed at you

@seventhsense Well its not that I don’t believe you, it just seems weird to be automatically not attracted to half the worlds population. But if you aren’t thats cool too.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

On a daily basis. is that wrong?

SeventhSense's avatar

Why is that weird? It’s actually the most common.

benjaminlevi's avatar

@SeventhSense Its not about numbers, its about me seeing certain people and thinking, how could someone of any sex not be attracted to this person.

SeventhSense's avatar

Well I can apreciate that someone of either sex is handsome or pretty without necessarily desiring them

Dansedescygnes's avatar

Same here. I think girls can be pretty or beautiful, but I don’t find them sexually attractive and I don’t see myself as ever falling in love with one.

augustlan's avatar

Absolutely. and that’s all I’m sayin’.

asmonet's avatar

Sexuality and gender are fluid.

_bob's avatar

And at least one of them involves fluids.

DREW_R's avatar

Nope, I have always like taco. ;)

Jack79's avatar

No, never.

arnbev959's avatar

I don’t think so. Not sexual feelings. On one or two occasions I might have had affectionate feelings toward another male, if that makes any sense.

KalWest's avatar

not really. I had a girlfriend – and I was attracted to her – but on a personal level. I was fighting my gayness at the time – trying to convince myself that the sexual attraction would come with time. It didn’t. We did remain close friends for a long time tho.

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