What is the worst back handed compliment you have ever been given?

wow that seems harsh Welll i go to school and people at my school are the meanest i really think there Jealous there always calling me me skanky bitch and other stuff sometimes i just wanna beat them up.

“Your ugly hair makes your face look prettier.”
Ignorance makes my stomach turn

“You look beautiful like that.” It was a morning-after, and my hair was covering my face. Dick.

“I want you to leave your hair and makeup on while we have sex”
we didn’t have sex

“wow you could be a plus-size model.”

When my long, beautiful hair started falling out, I had to cut it off, because it was clogging the drains. What was left turned pure white, so now I am bald with just barely enough white hairs for a combover. When my Mother In Law saw me for the first time after this, she said “You look so good with short hair”. I’m still puzzling over this. I guess she didn’t like my hair long.

@YARNLADY Maybe she just meant that you looked good with short hair, nothing more and nothing less…

A friend’s reference to the fact that I talk too much or I used to. He once asked me “Do you always talk in paragraphs?”

Usually I get insults that are played off to be nicer than they are. My “friends” (one in particular) are fucked up. I can’t really explain it. But she usually raises her voice when saying it and sort of giggles simultaneously to make it seem less sever. “You’re tee hee so annoying! tee hee”
And then you’re sort of left there, jaw open, that she just said that to you and got away with it without anyone saying anything…

“I liked those shoes when you wore them last year.” Implying they are out of style this year?

My asshole of a brother-in-law, to me, days after finally losing the rest of my hair to chemo and right after a chemo treatment:

“You are lucky you were a beautiful woman. You can pull off that bald look, even thought it’s ugly and weird on women. You look okay now, but don’t worry, you’ll be beautiful when your hair grows back in.”

I was in no mood for it…I was sick and miserable.

My response,“Hm….I don’t know what to say about you. You’ve never really been attractive and you’re rude as hell.”

He laughed, he thought I was joking. jack ass

Maybe this doesn’t really apply, but I get annoyed when people tell me what I should think is a good grade on a test. “You got a 90 on that exam? Good for you!” Did you expect me to do worse?

A group of teachers lost their chairperson (he was laid off) so they came to work for me (the remaining chair).

After a few months of working for me this older woman who taught English said to me, “You know, you’re not an asshole at all.”

@cak: Ouch. At least he’s an idiot whereas you are incredibly intelligent. Fuck ‘im. You’re awesome, he’s going to die alone and unloved. My mom had cancer and went through chemo. I have knee-jerk reactions to people who are nasty about people going through the same thing.

I think the worst back-handed compliment I received was just recently. Two of my roommates came to me and told me they could hear me when I was having sex with my boyfriend (just to clarify, these walls are paper thin. Seriously, I can sometimes hear my roommate typing in her room). Okay, fine, I won’t have sex in my room anymore, we only have a few weeks left. They had to keep going though and tell me that I’m “used to the sound because I watch porn” and that they think “sex is a private thing.” I almost responded with something about how I was so sorry that they came from families that made them hate their bodies and any natural urges they had.

@KatawaGrey for those days when I just can’t get it together, I’m having you follow me around! It’s okay. He’s just rude. I was okay with things, after I got used to it. No big. My only complaint was being so cold. I always had a knit cap on – unless I was in a baseball cap. The only way he ever feels happy, is if he is putting someone down.

Repeating myself here; A new acquaintance asked me who had done my nose. (She turned out to be Margo Lederer, Ann Lander’s.. the advice columnist.. daughter.)

This was the nose I was born with and still have attached to my face.

@gailcalled Wow. I’m speechless!

I was once told that I’m a “loose cannon”

@gailcalled Those who can’t… write columns telling other people how to?

Re: Margo Lederer; I was 21 at the time; now I see that she was married four times, once to Ron Howard, the actor. Fascinating, I know.

“I like how you’re always overconfident in your abilities.” —former boss

not my favorite job

@cak: I think we’d have a grand ole time together. :) I’ve known guys like him and they are just miserable themselves. It’s kind of sad, but when an adults act like that, I have absolutely zero sympathy.

@gailcalled I think you meant Ken Howard, the actor. I believe Ron might be too young for her.

@KatawaGrey I agree, we’d have a fantastic time together! Generally, I just allow those that are so full of themselves to huff and puff…eventually, they just fall flat, anyway. Just don’t catch me on the wrong day! :)

@gailcalled, I have had the exact same experience…more than once! I don’t know what it even means to be asked if I’ve had a nose-job! It’s my nose, unadulterated, untouched!

I’ve also been told that I’m not as mean as I look.

The one compliment I love is when people tell me how beautiful my daughter is. She’s a carbon copy of me

I have a friend who’s notorious for these but there’s usually very little compliment in the actual mix. I’ve got dozens and dozens of them from her but for the sake of brevity, the most recent series surrounded the fact that I got braces.

Me: “So, yeah. I’ve got to get braces – I’m getting that lined up now.
Her: “Ohhhhh. That sucks. You’re going to waste your last couple of pretty years.”

A month later – braces have been put on.

Me: “Hey! It’s nice to see you. Yup, got the braces on.” (curtsies and smiles wide)
Her: “They don’t look that bad – and hey, maybe you’ll lose some weight.”

@figbash: Wow. She’s a peach.

Lying in bed with a young man, after hours of passionate kissing, my lips swollen and my red hair splayed out on the pillow behind me… He says “You look like a clown. er. A pretty clown.” Um. Thanks?

I can’t recall any. I really never remember slights. I guess I’m lucky or I just dismiss them. (It comes from having a narcissist for a mother. If I was ever hurt it would always be an affront to her somehow)
Although I do remember one directed at an ex girlfriend by my mother. My serious girlfriend and I had been thinking or questioning whether she would ever have children and she was 40 (I was 30) at the time. My mother said to her how healthy she was and “Oh you can always have an abortion if the child has Down Syndrome or something”. My jaw hit the floor. When confronted later she had no idea how insensitive her statement was to a woman who was already feeling a little funny that she might not have children….Mother Dearest. :)

@augustlan – ACK! Did you give the look or just say nothing?

@figbash – Amazing. My goodness, I hate to hear it when she was really being mean to a person! Sheesh!

@cak Oh, the look was out in full force. I forgave him though. After I saw myself in the mirror, I pretty much had to agree with his assessment! :D

I can’t remember any I’ve had off the top of my head, but I remember my sister’s:

Her: I can’t wear these shorts anymore because my legs are getting too big.
Her Boyfriend: Baby your legs aren’t big, they’re powerful.

@cak and @cprevite: yeah – she’s something else. i think she may seriously have a problem with women, which is another story. her insults are kinda crazy too – i’m not even overweight! i just laugh them off at this point.

She said: “Wow, this really is your first time.”
The second time, I made sure we both could barely drag ourselves to the shower.

“youre bitchiness is endearing.”

yeah. i didnt know what to say… so i responded with… “thanks?”

after talking about life, you know, general nonsense
Friend: gosh, I’m amazed you look so good and innocent, I had no idea you were trying to take the devil’s place
Me: no i’m not, i’m trying to make enough miles to go to heaven
friend: you are not doing very good man…
Me: hey, there is alittle bit of evil in all of us.
Friend: there is a LOT of evil in you, you should be a lawyer!!!!

Not to me, but “you’d be the most popular guy in the school if you weren’t ugly.” ouch.