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The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Do you have a problem with accepting praise?

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25 Answers

TaoSan's avatar

I am my own worst critic. So, oftentimes, praise seems blah.

aviona's avatar

I used to. About a year ago I made a deal with myself and my boyfriend at the time that whenever he complimented me I would simply say “thank you,” rather than try to deny or fight whatever he was saying. It was mostly a pact with myself.

I’m not saying I’ve completely overcome it, but I’ve definitely made progress.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Yup. Old home training: Don’t brag. Don’t show off. Show humility (read self-abasement). The subtext was: “I can’t stand it when someone compliments you. It makes me feel bad about myself.”

I’m trying to change this mindset now. Accomplishing something and being complimented on it doesn’t take away from others, nor does it make people show-offs or stuck on themselves.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

I’ve come to learn that not accepting praise can be seen as an insult.

casheroo's avatar

Depends on who the praise is coming from, I’ll either respond with a thank you or an “I know”. It’s good to be confident, and it’s also good to know when to keep your mouth shut :)

Dansedescygnes's avatar

No, sometimes I think I have the opposite problem in that I take praise too far. But, just to me it really makes me feel good—it boosts my confidence. I love being praised.

Ivan's avatar

Yes. Most of the time I feel that it is either disingenuous or that I don’t deserve it.

KatawaGrey's avatar

I think it depends on what aspects of myself are being praised. When my card-playing abilities are being praised, I blush and smile and get a little puffed up (unless I’m on a losing streak and then I think the other person is just trying to make me feel better). On the other hand, if someone tells me how pretty I am, I shut down and get kind of angry. I think this is because I was reminded of how ugly I was in middle school and early high school.

On the whole, I think most people accept praise about their abilities better than about their physical selves. I think it goes to not wanting to be judged about something you can’t control. I can’t control the way I look, but I can control how well I play cards.

Bit of a long-winded response but I hope it answered your question.

Lightlyseared's avatar

I used to but now I accept it and say thank you. Anything else is questioning the judgement of someone who thinks nice things about you. Not clever.

aprilsimnel's avatar

@Lightlyseared – It is rude, isn’t it? Good point!

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I am horrible when it comes to accepting praise. People get so irritated with me because I will deny whatever it is they’re trying to compliment me on. I never realized how offended people can get if you put yourself down after they make the effort to compliment you. When I was younger I wouldn’t have seen my behavior as rude, but I’m realizing more and more that I should just keep my mouth shut. People don’t have to say anything nice, but they’re making the effort so I should thank them.

SuperMouse's avatar

Nope, I lap it up like Jack the Pug drinks water after an afternoon in the sun.

Facade's avatar

unless i genuinely feel it’s praise-worthy, then yes.

augustlan's avatar

I used to. Now, even if I feel uncomfortable with it, I smile and say thank you.

justwannaknow's avatar

I have learned to accept it and move on. Some times it means more to the person giving the praise than the one receiving it. A modest thank you will really stroke some egos.

AstroChuck's avatar

No. Bring it on.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I think so because I get uncomfortable and start sizing up the praising person, asking myself what things they could want from me to prompt the praise.

ratboy's avatar

Yes I do—nobody is offering any.

Velvetinenut's avatar

I am uncomfortable and feel awkward when someone praises me. Just smile and say “Thank you”. Of course, if the person giving the praise is a person know to praise and then load work on me (based on what I am praised for), I’d throw it back to the person.

3or4monsters's avatar

I have been noticing, in retrospect, that I’ve been brushing off or deflecting people’s compliments, and it bothers me because I realize that in trying to diffuse the praise, I rarely stop to say, “thank you.”

Not saying thank you when you are supposed to is rude. I can sidestep, make jokes, and diffuse AFTER I say thank you, but to not thank a person for a compliment is unacceptable, given that for many, offering praise is a hard thing to do, thus worth the recognition of a thank-you.

lisaj89's avatar

Yes, I have a very hard time with accepting praise. I think it’s because I’m so hard on myself and always believe I can do better. For some reason, I think that if somebody says how good of a job I did, it’s just them being nice. What’s crazy is that I know and accept this and still have a problem with praise. I usually return a simple thank you, but it never really registers internally.

knitfroggy's avatar

Used to be whenever someone gave me a compliment, say on my apperance I would say stuff like…Oh but you’re prettier or I wish you had my curly hair-cuz I hate it. I finally learned to just say thank you and be done with it.

Nimis's avatar

I’m learning to just say thank you and leave it at that.
Though I have yet to learn to actually appreciate it.
I’m much more appreciative of thoughtful criticism.

wundayatta's avatar

I’ve been getting better. I say thank you, and am polite about it, but inside it’s another story. I figure that if people really like something, they’ll buy it. Words are cheap. I’m sure people are sincere. However, I’m never sure if they really mean it, or are just being nice.

The things I really care about—people don’t buy. The things that my employer buys—just isn’t that important to me. I like to do a good job, or even an excellent job, but I want to be rewarded, not with words, but with a raise.

For many years of my life, I never got raises. My boss always had an excuse. So I figured my work wasn’t worth much to him, and that it probably wasn’t worth much to anyone. I have a better boss now, and he has fought to get me raises, so I know he likes my work. The only problem is that once I got sick, I stopped working, and that’s when the biggest raise came. So it was all weird, and I didn’t feel right about it, because I was no longer deserving of it.

People are generally appreciative of my music and of stuff I write. But I don’t make a living with either. The music, I don’t mind so much. The writing is another story. I like praise, but (isn’t there always a “but”?) I don’t know what it means. I know if means this person liked something, but I’ve found there are people—maybe a lot of them—who like things but never say so. Maybe there are more people who like stuff I write, but never say so. So I wonder if there are enough to make it possible for me to sell my writing.

In the past, I would deny praise because it felt fake. I’m not one of those people who can live off praise. Show me the money. Then I know you’re serious. So, since there never was any money, I assumed I was no good, and therefore people who praised me were just being polite. When I was sick, it was even worse. I would try to convince people they were wrong. Too weird. Too weird.

ram201pa's avatar

Not at all. I say, “thank you” and move on.

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