General Question

bezdomnaya's avatar

Do you find it easier to be friends with people of the same sex or opposite sex?

Asked by bezdomnaya (1440points) May 12th, 2009

Until this year, I spent most of my time surrounded by guy friends. This year, I moved to an all woman’s college and the course that I’m on is 11 people total with 2 guys. It has been an adjustment to say the least. What are your thoughts on friendships. Do you have more of one or the other? Who do you get along with more easily?

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42 Answers

asmonet's avatar

I have an even mix, depending on my mood in general I get along better with one gender or the other. But I feel it more often leads to men. My best friend is a gay guy.

He’s a good mix of listener and lack of macho bullshit without being a fuckin’ girl. ;)

GoPhillies's avatar

I am a guy. I can honestly say that most of my friends we girls. I have about 3 good guy friends. I think this is because i am comfortable with women because i was raised by all women. Im not girly or gay not that, that is bad. I just think that is how i am

ccbatx's avatar

In a way, a little bit of both. On one hand, the opposite sex is a lot more fun to be around. I mean with guys you can act like a complete doofus and be gross and most of them wouldn’t care. On the other hand, girls tend to be more emotional and are very defensive when it comes to their friends. They’re always there for you. In my situation, I can talk to girls easier and joke around with them, no pressure, but with guys, there are only a select few who I can be that way around.

jrpowell's avatar

Sausage party in P-Town. Mostly guy friends.

whatthefluther's avatar

I’m a straight guy, but interestingly enough, it seemed my whole life, the majority of my best friends we’re women or gay guys. Go figure (I’m not certain why).

Dansedescygnes's avatar

For me, it seems to be easier to be friends with girls. My best friend is a girl. But my second best friend is a guy and I have several straight guy friends that I hang out with plenty. But I do seem to find it easier to befriend girls and often I’ll find I have more to talk about with them. Keep in mind that I’m a gay guy so that’s expected.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

I have tons of women friends in real life, but most of my on-line friends are men. I find them easier to talk to, & I have a ball with them. They keep secrets way better than women do. I’ve been stung by two women who I thought were my friends, but I’ve never been betrayed by a man on here.

Lothloriengaladriel's avatar

I find the same sex easier to be friends with, and less stressful most of the time

Jack79's avatar

both, but they tend to be different types of relationships, and we talk about different things.

rooeytoo's avatar

I have had very good friends of both sexes. To me friendship is based on so many things, mutual interests, ability to communicate, share a laugh. Gender is not a determining or even relevant factor.

However, my best friend is a female (as am I) and I don’t think that will ever change.

Facade's avatar

I find it difficult to befriend either sex. Women don’t usually like me for whatever reason. Men normally just wanna bone, even after they find out I’m unavailable. I don’t think one is easier than the other (for me).

DarkScribe's avatar

I have always had far more female friends that male friends. Life has just worked out that way, not a conscious choice. There can be complications when (as invariably it happens) they decide they want a bit more than friendship, but we manage to get past that. (I don’t cheat.) It usually happens after an emotional upheaval of some sort in their lives.

I enjoy the company of an intelligent, well read, witty female far more than that of most males. I have seven really good, life-long male friends, and about two dozen female friends of more than twenty – twenty-five years standing who are outside of my extended family. Several of them are lesbian, I get on well with many lesbians. I suppose because I am not a threat. (They know my wife and that I don’t play around.) They keep telling me that I am really a Lesbian trapped in a man’s body. :)

SeventhSense's avatar

As Michael Madsen said in Reservoir Dogs(?), I find the concept of friends highly overrated. I can go with women or men for a deep conversation or socializing. I find loyalty itself to be highly suspect but more common with men.
Call me a dog but I wouldn’t mind a bone. :)

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I’ve always had more male friends but won’t say they’re any easier than my female friends. I consider my friends as non acquaintances and these relationships are usually pretty intimate and go through their ups and downs over the years.

Facade's avatar

@SeventhSense you wouldn’t mind, but I would :)

SeventhSense's avatar

Just a freakin’ bone

toomuchcoffee911's avatar

@whatthefluther I’ve heard so much about you! Welcome back!

sjmc1989's avatar

I love being Friends with men because I like their percpective on things. Im definitely a guys girl but a lot of my friendships with men are ruined because they eventually start developing feelings for me or just want in my pants

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I think I’ve always connected to people that identified themselves as guys or have been so identified by society – both my best friend and husband don’t care to adhere to their ‘manliness’

Allie's avatar

I’m friends with both males and females pretty much equally. I find it easier to be friends with guys. They’re definitely not as catty and dramatic. I don’t like dramatic.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Of my bestest friends, 1 is male and 4 are female. Of my acquaintances, it’s about half and half. I know slightly more women.

ru2bz46's avatar

I have a best friend of either sex, but I have more female friends than male. I’m far from a typical guy as my interests are equally mixed between “guy stuff” and “chick stuff”. I can get along with just about anybody, but I can have better conversations with women, so I feel more comfortable around them. Since I don’t watch sports or play video games (much), there’s usually little to talk about with most guys.

Trance24's avatar

I have always enjoyed guys company more than men. I don’t know hanging around my own sex gets boring, plus I find women friends to be less of a true friend most of the time. I have one really close girl friend, the rest are guys. I just get along with them better than women. Always have even in grade school. I played football while the girls played jump rope.

Likeradar's avatar

I have about an even mix, but I think I prefer the company of guys. That’s not to say I don’t really appreciate and have a special bond with my lady friends, but I find guys to just be easier to hang out with. There’s less competition, cattiness, and strange emotional rules with guys.

knitfroggy's avatar

Growing up I was usually friends with guys more. I had a couple good girl friends and a couple really close guy friends that I spent more time with. Now I have a lot of guy friends that are gay, dunno why, but I tend to get along with gay guys really well.

BookReader's avatar

…i offer friendship quite readily but trust or the lack thereof guides just how solid the friendship is… in my heart right now, zero… on my thoughts, a few… come here let’s play, many…

whatthefluther's avatar

@toomuchcoffee911…thank you…I trust it was mostly good things you heard! See you around…wtf

mbubbles's avatar

I’m in high school, so I think it’s easier to be friends with the same sex. I always feel awkward around boys b/c I don’t want them to think I like them, but I don’t want them to think I don’t want to be friends. I stick to my best girlfriends.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I have a much easier time being friends with males. Women are far too judgmental in first associations and have too many jealousy issues. Now, if I came across the kind of women I come across on Fluther, that would be a different story and I’d probably have more female friends. But in general, people in the “real world” are nothing like the people found on Fluther… Unfortunately.

rooeytoo's avatar

It always makes me sad when I hear women criticizing other women and saying they can’t be friends. To me it just plays along with the cultural characterization of women being catty and somehow less than males. I don’t find it to be true strictly according to gender, I have met plenty of catty men as well as women. I think it has more to do with individual personalities than gender.

A shrink once told me if I wanted to be loved, I should love. I think that translates into areas other than love, I think if you put out catty, competitive vibes, you will get them in return. Next time we meet a person of the same sex perhaps our experience would be more friendly if we projected the openness and willingness that we apparently project to the opposite sex.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@rooeytoo You’re right about it being a cultural characterization, but it’s unfortunately true in a lot of instances. People play into their given roles. When it comes to being friends with women, I don’t put out catty vibes, but I get them – a lot. Therefore, it’s easier for me to be friends with males in general. If I come across a female who isn’t stereotypical in that sense, I befriend them easily.

Allie's avatar

@DrasticDreamer Hello, I’m Allie. =]

rooeytoo's avatar

@DrasticDreamer – Just for the record, I was not singling you out, as you read over the responses above, there are many who feel as you do. Men often say similar things about their relationships with other males. That is how I have come to ponder whether what we project determines what we get in return. Maybe there is some sort on unconscious attitude men and women project when meeting others of the same sex. Something that does not come out when meeting the opposite sex because the jockeying for position or competitive aspects are not involved.

I say that because I really do believe what the shrink told me that if you want to be loved, you have to love.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@rooeytoo No, I knew you weren’t singling me out. I was just giving an example. :)
@Allie HI! :) lol

toomuchcoffee911's avatar

@whatthefluther Yes, all good things. And CONGRATS!

SeventhSense's avatar

Glad you went back to the original avatar. It’s a becoming photo of you

Staalesen's avatar

Well, my best friends, other than my SO, is male, but my closest friend i female… so I donĀ“t know what to answer really..

Sloane2024's avatar

My two very best friends are guys; I trust them more than I do anyone else because they honestly seem to care, but I also have a very close group of girl friends that I hang out with on a regular basis. My relationship with each gender is different, however, I feel that it is more permanent, more true with my guy friends. Most girls most, not all tend to degrade other girls if given the opportunity to increase their social status. Guys, they don’t care. That’s what I like about them.

Disc2021's avatar

I’m a guy and considering all of my best friends are guys – I would say I find it easier to get along with them.

I feel like guys can open up to me more and easier than girls can. Although I’m gay – it seems as if girls feel awkward or uneasy around me or that they’re confined to acting within certain gender roles.

CMaz's avatar

Can’t have opposite sex friends. Not to say you cant, but there is always that thought in each others back of their minds as to it being more then friends. Just the way men and women are wired. The problem with that said, do you have the maturity to see that? Is your insecurity so bad that you crave that attention from the opposite sex. We all do to an extent. As single people you are fee to be in a position for a potential hook-up or relationship.. If you are in a relationship you put yourself and your relationship at risk. Or worse yet for the single person and the attached to be “mishandled” emotionally and/or physically. Opposite sex friends are possible, at a distance. Some people are just better then others keeping their guard up.

hitomi's avatar

When I was younger (middle and high school) I found it easier to be friends with boys. There was less drama and it was just easier to be natural with them. Once I reached college I found women who, like me, weren’t overly dramatic and emotional and I started to broaden my range of female friends. I think once you reach a certain age it doesn’t matter what gender people are, it really is about the people themselves (in college I met some guys that could out-drama any girls I knew in High School).

mikkicmark's avatar

I actually get along more with boys…my boyfriend hates it but he gets over it. I dont know why but i feel more myself with boys then girls. I just do not like dealing with girls who gossips and etc…well i know not all girls gossip its just hard to find someone who does not gossip since i went to a small pirvate school

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