General Question

dalepetrie's avatar

In the end, do you believe that the love you take is equal to the love you make?

Asked by dalepetrie (18007points) May 15th, 2009

If so, what evidence can you use to support this thesis? If not, what do you think the actual equation is?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

43 Answers

DarkScribe's avatar

How do you “take” love?

oratio's avatar

You can only receive love, as it is a gift. Love is not a number, and the barrel is bottomless as long as you have it. Give and you will receive.

AstroChuck's avatar

All I know is that all you need is love.

dalepetrie's avatar

@DarkScribe – I take my coffee like I take my women…hot, black and with two lumps.

But seriously, wouldn’t taking love be rape?

And what happens if you’re making love out of nothing at all?

Or let’s say you’re in Seattle, you’re hitchhiking in the rain with no umbrella or coat, and a woman picks you up and says all she wants to do is make love to you…what then?

Or does that hold when the one you love ‘s in love with someone else?

And let’s say your girlfriend, we’ll call her Sue, she likes to run around with every single guy in town…what then?

I’ve also heard that money can’t buy you love, but that up until next week, you’ll still be able to rent it in half hour increments on Craig’s List…so how does that factor in?

oratio's avatar

@dalepetrie Love and sex are different things. Sex can be showing love, abusing people, or just pleasure. I suspect you don’t have sex with everyone you love. That would be parents, children and friends.

dalepetrie's avatar

@oratio – Agreed, but that brings up a question about the question…are we talking about a specific kind of love, or all love cumulatively from all sources. And can you make love without “making love” as it is defined in our language? Besides, what’s love but a second hand emotion? And what if you love something that isn’t human…like food or beer?

ubersiren's avatar

I dunno, Lennon and McCartney… There are many occasions where one person loves someone, and that someone doesn’t give the love back.

dalepetrie's avatar

@ubersiren – true, there’s unrequited love for one. Or what if one’s love dies, they can no longer give, make or take love, but the one still living still produces love for the deceased. If we’re talking collectively, I can see it, it’s a zero sum game and all love made must be taken (though again we have the sticky problems of unrequited love). I get the feeling we’re talking on an individual basis and if that’s so, is it a matter of all the love you’ve accepted from any source, will when you die equal all the love you’ve produced? Does that then mean that we’re all in a constant state of love disequilibrium, and once we actually achieve parity among the love we’ve taken, that’s when we die?

oratio's avatar

@dalepetrie Yeah, but I have come to the conclusion that all love is the same. For lovers, family and real friendship. For a lover you have erotic feeling added. But at the same time there is sensuality in all intimate relationships. Sensuality is often confused with sexuality, which is quite wrong. Sensuality exists between two mutually caring people, like parents and children, lovers and close friends. Sexuality and sensuality are ways of displaying affection and love. Between lovers you have it all.

Love as a second hand emotion feels a bit cynical. That would go for any emotion one has.

Lol, my love for beer is endless. I just hope it loves me back.

oratio's avatar

@ubersiren Yokoooooo!!! [Shaking the fist]

Thebigbaboo's avatar

Sounds nice but in real life, I think this is BS.
Life is not so simple.

RareDenver's avatar

It’s a fucking good question.

My take on it is that the love I give is what I want to give with no expectation of something back.

The love I receive I expect because of who I am and they see what they love in me.

And then comes family? That’s a whole new question!

So I guess my answer would be “yes it is now but it hasn’t always been that way”

skfinkel's avatar

I think you get more, even, when you give it away. I have a scale in my kitchen on which to test this hypothesis.

DarkScribe's avatar

@dalepetrie
>And what happens if you’re making love out of nothing at all?

You are the proud owner of an inflatable sex doll?

>Or let’s say you’re in Seattle, you’re hitchhiking in the rain with no umbrella or coat,
> and a woman picks you up and says all she wants to do is make love to you…what
> then?

Hope like hell that one of you has a condom?

>Or does that hold when the one you love ‘s in love with someone else?

Hold? What are you holding? Don’t risk your eyesight.

>And let’s say your girlfriend, we’ll call her Sue, she likes to run around with every
>single guy in town…what then?

Buy yourself a “Pimpmobile” and tell her to check out the married guys as well?

I prefer eBay to Craig’s list.

dalepetrie's avatar

Where do you find love on eBay? I’m guessing “Everything Else”?

DarkScribe's avatar

@dalepetrie No, under “Mechanical Devices”...

filmfann's avatar

The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.

loser's avatar

I don’t know. It’s not the end yet.

SeventhSense's avatar

Well all we give, we give to ourselves, so in essence I agree. I can not receive or recognize love without an existing internal archetype. And the measure of this archetype is the measure I am willing to extend to other’s in anticipation of their return in favor. So yes the love we take is equal to the love we make.

augustlan's avatar

I’m with @skfinkel on this one. The minute you give love, you receive more. I’m thinking of love as a kind of karma. The more you put love into the universe, the more there is floating around out there… which will eventually find its way back to you.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

No, that’s a bunch of hippie hoopla.
My formula for romantic love: 10 people, 7 will not work out, 1 could work out but is too fucked up with baggage, 1 will love you but you will not love them, 1 will work great but there is no guarantee for how long you’ll have one another.
All other love you enjoy to share or accept is a free for all.

MacBean's avatar

Sadly, my personal experience leads me to disagree with @skfinkel and @augustlan. It doesn’t matter how much love you give, if the people around you don’t feel like giving it back, you’re not going to get any. (But that doesn’t necessarily mean you should stop.)

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

No. one doesn’t always equate the other. Of course if you ever want to have a chance at finding love, you do have to give it. But not everyone does end up getting it back.

essieness's avatar

Ah, the boys… I love them. Yes, I’ve always agreed with this statement. I’ve always thought that the word “take” in that phrase means something more like “receive” and “make” is more like “give”. But, they needed something that rhymed and they’ve been known to play around with words like that in other songs. So, if you look at it like “the love you receive is equal to the love you give,” then it makes more sense. It’s basically karma or the law of attraction or maybe the Golden Rule. Whatever you put out there, you’ll get back in return.

dalepetrie's avatar

@essieness – I guess I kind of though that too. I posted the question with those definitions in mind to see what kind of answers I’d get, didn’t even occur to me to dissect the semantics of the two words at the time, but I love where the conversation has gone, it’s been interesting.

SeventhSense's avatar

@augustlan
The more you put love into the universe, the more there is floating around out there

I think this is the faulty premise that we all operate from. The idea that there is a supply and an increase or decrease in love like it’s a commodity.
Even here people do the same with lurve. Like “Hmm, I can’t give lurve too freely because..umm because well…thet have to be worthy..or something I jus’t can’t…don’t ask me” “What would happen if everyone just got lurve freely…it would be madness!”.
I think that there is an unlimited supply of love. The only limit is our capacity to recognize and receive a greater portion. And that rests upon our ability to give it freely and without condition because it affirms that we know it is limitless.

MacBean's avatar

Whatever you put out there, you’ll get back in return.

No. You won’t. You might but it’s not a certainty.

essieness's avatar

@MacBean I’m eternally optimistic.

SeventhSense's avatar

@dalepetrie
As long as we’re being non PC- I like my coffee like Mike Tyson’s victims..black and bitter

MacBean's avatar

@essieness—So am I, which is why I keep giving, even though I very rarely get.

dalepetrie's avatar

@SeventhSense – oh yeah, and I like mine hand picked by Juan Valdez.

SeventhSense's avatar

…and if it’s packaged in China we can have a hat trick PC offensive play. :)

augustlan's avatar

@MacBean Well, you have my love, and lurve, too!

ru2bz46's avatar

I don’t keep a tally. I give love because I feel like it. Whatever I receive, I relish.

dalepetrie's avatar

I love structured chaos…we’ve got about 4 different conversations going on! Let me add to the confusion.

The black coffee joke reminds me of a standup routine that Norm MacDonald used to do before anyone knew who he was, back in about the mid 80s. I have to paraphrase, but he was talking about game shows and said something to this effect…

How about the Dating Game? That’s a weird show…the prize on that show is another contestant. And they always do the same thing…they get this gorgeous young woman and match her up with 3…..geeks. Then they make her ask all these suggestive questions…..loaded with sexual innuendo.

Bachelor #1, if I were a popsicle…what would you do to me?

If you were a popsicle, what would I do to you…well first I’d…..take off your WRAPPER….if you know what I mean…..then I’d…grab ahold of your STICKS…..if you know what I mean….then I’d…press you against the counter till you broke in two….and put half of you in the freezer till later….if you know what I mean.

Not sure why but the weird women/sex/food thing just made me remember that….probably just a function of it being 2 am…I apologize, carry on…

SeventhSense's avatar

@dalepetrie
lol yes it must have been late..tap tap..is this thing on?

bright_eyes00's avatar

I dont think so. I’ve been in relationships where I gave a lot more than I should and received very little back. I have witnessed that in other relationships as well. I think to have a successful/healthy relationship you need an equal level of give/take though.

oratio's avatar

@bright_eyes00 But dude, you were clearly in relationships that turned out to be wrong for you. If you think you need to hold back, it’s not the right relationship. If you get very little back it’s wrong too. Sometimes you do give more or give less. It’s not a competition. No relationship is perfect. They all have to be worked on. If the friction is too big, it’s over.

bright_eyes00's avatar

@oratio thats why it always ended.

oratio's avatar

@bright_eyes00 Yeah, well you are right about that. You need to be equals for it to work.
Though some people seem to prefer a dominant partner.

They say opposite attract. Never understood what that means. A love relationship is living with your best friend, and friends need common ground.

tiffyandthewall's avatar

if you’re that fortunate.

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