General Question

Jude's avatar

Gents (or bi-females/lesbians), how do you act when meeting a stunningly beautiful woman?

Asked by Jude (32198points) July 1st, 2009

Do you try to be a charmer (all smooth and whatnot)? Or, do you act like a bit of goofball (all nervous, maybe, trying to be funny), or do you have a deer in the headlights look with a perpetual smile (which can be a little off-putting, ha)?

I’m a gay girl, and just recently I went into my insurance office and met an extremely attractive older woman (she looked like she was in her early 40’s). She had a beautiful smile and was absolutely stunning. When talking to her, I had a stupid smile on my face and felt like a dork. We chatted for a good while (she was very talkative) and a few times I stumbled over my words, all nervous-like bah. She had a big smile at the end of our convo and I’m wondering if she could sense something. God, I hate when that happens..

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24 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I think I’m the one that makes them stumble over their words

jahbless's avatar

Try to get closer to her/find out what her preferences are.But sooner or later you have to confront her.You will never know if she is also interested.Maybe she will want to expierence it.I don’t know.Just try

FrankHebusSmith's avatar

Just be yourself?

That’s what I do at least. I find it to be the best flirting tactic…..

ru2bz46's avatar

In answer to the main question, I act the same way as @jmah.

Why do some of us get stupid just because somebody is gorgeous? Maybe that’s part of natural selection… If one is confident enough to feel at ease with the most beautiful, then they get the chance to reproduce with them and improve the species (yeah, well, in the case of same-sex, no rules apply anyway)...?

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

I just be myself, and keep my mind on being pleasant, trying not to undress them with my eyes. I make them feel comfortable, by maybe making a small compliment, nothing too outrageous. Just remember, women are the most vain creatures on the planet, but they would prefer they not know that you know that little fact. Its better to try to make friends or a platonic connection with someone first.

I know plenty of attractive women, and I love to flirt with them, but it is harmless flirting; I am not trying to get them outta their pants. Just smile and be pleasant. If something comes of it, great, if not, you made someone’s day by making them feel good about themselves. Not a damn thing wrong with that.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

@ru2bz46 there are rules in same sex attraction just as their are in opposite sex attraction. Might be a little more on the sly, considering the views of a repressive society, but people are people no matter what sensitive bits they are hiding in their shorts.

ru2bz46's avatar

@evelyns_pet_zebra I was not trying to dehumanize same-sex pairings. I was referring to the reproduction part of it. Natural selection does not apply when there is no chance of reproduction.

Jude's avatar

This may sound silly, but, I worry that I’ll give away the fact that I find her attractive (am attracted to women), with her, probably being straight—by my nervousness. I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable, if that makes any sense?

ru2bz46's avatar

@jmah I understand. In most cases, I’m not wanting anything from the attractive person. They may be a coworker, a receptionist, etc. It’s just interacting with such a beautiful creature gets me tongue-tied. I don’t want them to think I want them because I’m just trying to accomplish a task. I don’t want them to be uncomfortable.

Jude's avatar

@ru2bz46 yes, that’s what I’m sayin’.

whatthefluther's avatar

If she is very attractive to many, I suspect she has already witnessed every conceivable behavioral response imaginable, and is likely very aware you find her attractive enough to get tongue-tied with a perpetual stupid (your word) smile on your face. But, don’t worry….she is probably used to it! See ya….wtf

Jude's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I get that, too, with some fellas (not one person in my life has pegged me for being gay – yet). A good portion of the guys, though, do their best to charm the pants off of you.

MrKnowItAll's avatar

All you gotta do is, Act Naturally.

tinyfaery's avatar

It takes more than good looks to knock me off my feet. There are plenty of beautiful people, but a true spark is rare. I’m never really nervous around those I find attractive. I’m usually to be busy trying to get in their pants.

Grisaille's avatar

Well, I’ve overcome all of that silly giggidy-ness. Honestly, I was really horrible at these things, and would make an ass of myself – like, on a chronic level.

Nowadays, I realize that most people are just as shit as the rest of the world. I’ve turned rather jaded to these things.

Which is a total f’n shame, as I often times realize how beautiful they are after they’re already gone from my life. For example, I was on the subway one day, heading from one project to another.

I took a seat early in the ride noticed that there was a young woman sitting next to me, looking up from her book to glance in my direction every few minutes or so. In NYC, that means absolutely nothing, and figured there was something of interest past my head, mayhaps a particularly crazed hobo. I just continued to look straight, eyes unfaltering and listening to my iPod in one ear. I had a whole long day’s work ahead of me, and I was trying to coordinate stuff in my head.

Lost in the calculations, I felt a tap on my shoulder. “Do… do you have the time?,” she asked.

Apathetically, I raised my wrist to look at my watch, “It’s a quarter to noon.”

“Thank you,” she said – with a million-watt smile. It was right then that I realized how beautiful she was – ethereal, even. Soft features, light eyes, red hair – rather perfect, in fact. Mouth slightly agape and forming a slight smile, I manged to form a “you’re welcome” as the train pulled into the station. She got up and walked away.

I put my headphones on, and continuously kicked myself in the nuts for that grand display of idiocy. The entire ride I was thinking all kinds of stupid; what I could have said, what I should have said, was she really interested in me, that would have been embarrassing if she wasn’t, I wonder why she didn’t speak up before etc. I silently hoped I’d run into her again one day – but in a sea of over 8 million people, it’s near impossible.

Wait, what was the question again?

loser's avatar

I usually just embarrass myself.

mattbrowne's avatar

Does she have charm? Is she warn and kind and honest? Is she intelligent? Can I have interesting conversations with her? And so forth. And yes, just be yourself. Be authentic.

Bri_L's avatar

The same way I act when I meat anyone. Seriously. In my mind people are people. I learned long ago not to let looks dictate my approach to anything.

That is why I am married to an amazingly beautiful and intelligent woman who, if I applied some of the rules of “in or out of my league” I may not have.

fireinthepriory's avatar

I find most women love it when they think a gay girl thinks they’re attractive. I mean, it’s perfect – it’s non-threatening yet extremely flattering. Her big smile was probably because she guessed you thought she was hot. I’ve definitely been known to shamelessly talk to a hot woman for longer than is really necessary. I only get really embarrassed when I’m caught looking at someone’s cleavage or something… Hahaha. And no one ever pegs me for gay either… Which is probably another reason I can get away with shamelessly flirting with so many women!

wundayatta's avatar

It used to happen more often, but it’s been a few years since I met someone who I thought was so gorgeous, I couldn’t keep my mind on my work. I tried to be helpful, but all the time I was thinking about whether there was any possibility at all of getting into some kind of relationship with her. It’s impossible of course—unethical in so many ways, I can’t count them. But it did make my tongue get tied up a little. I suppose that at my age, I should just enjoy the feeling, and not worry about doing anything about it.

Blondesjon's avatar

I behave the way I always behave.

I make them hate how much they love me.

DREW_R's avatar

You just need to be you. That’s what I do. Take me for what I am or go piss up a rope. ;)

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