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yziabites's avatar

How do i cope with my boyfriend's changing behavior?

Asked by yziabites (104points) July 5th, 2009

.he used to be this ideal boyfriend. since he won this modeling competition, he started being such a jerk. before, we always hang out together after school. now, he’s like rarely available. the biggest blow was when he told me that everything that my family and i have is nothing compared to what he and his family have. and he said this after he got pissed off by my 8-year-old brother over the use of laptop.

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11 Answers

TabernakAttack's avatar

These are never good questions to ask a group of people because naturally we’re all going to tell you to dump that jackass. However, judging by the fact that you’re still with him means he either has some good qualities or just a massive wang that’s got you staying with him. You gotta decide on your own, over how long you two have been dating, add up all the good and the bad. See if he’s worth keeping as a boyfriend or if you can do better.

To answer your question as to how you should “cope” with it, you shouldn’t. Every relationship some some give on both ends of it and he might just be taking advantage of your feelings for him. If it doesn’t start getting better, confront him on it. If it still doesn’t get better, you’ll find another guy.

Lovey_Howell's avatar

TabernakAttack is right in that if you present only one small instance which is going to portray your boyfriend in a negative light and ask a group of people who know absolutely nothing else about you or your boyfriend or anything else about the situation—well then you’re just looking for people to tell you to leave him.

It seems to me that when people present situations like these they are usually already thinking of calling it quits and just looking for some back up.

But, seeing as how you’ve already decided that he has turned from an ideal to a jerk, the only thing left to determine is whether or not your opinion of him can change back. If so, what it would take on his and your part for that opinion to change and are you and he willing to make those changes?

As I see it, the only thing you can do is to talk to him about his metamorphosis and what it’s doing to your relationship.

whitenoise's avatar

I do not want to sound like one of the old jerks… but hey I can’t help it.

Since you mention that you are in school and you talk about your boyfriend, I guess that you are still relatively young. (Compared to my 41 years, that is.) I guess therefore that your relationship with your boyfriend is also still relatively young and you do not have to way complicated things like children and shared equity.

I will tell you what I mostly tell people:

1) when you are in the start of a relationship – as I fell you are in the greater scheme of live – then do not start in relationships that are difficult. Even relationships that do not start difficult will run into trouble.
2) don’t waste your time on unfruitfult relationships. Nature adheres a vacuum and will fill it up. Don’t fear the vacuum of being single again – it is the best way of opening your self to a better alternative.

And the others before me are right: I am blessed with ignorance for the details of your relationship, so the only one that can truly answer this question is you!

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

@whitenoise pretty good advice for someone so young. just teasing you, I am only about a decade older than you.

peyton_farquhar's avatar

He sounds like an enormous asshole. Is this really someone you want to be with?

Jeruba's avatar

In my experience, when you ask a question like this, you already know the answer.

JLeslie's avatar

Gotta agree with most people here—dump him. I know this will be very difficult, espcially since you had a seemingly great relationship before. It is difficult to let go of that. If he does not respect you and your family I don’t think you will ever get a happily ever after result with this guy. Either this modeling thing has gone to his head or I hate to say he might be cheating on you. “Rarely available” is not a good sign. In the end it does not matter why, what matters is that you are not getting what you need and desire out of the relationship.

Icky's avatar

sounds like you know the answer and are asking the internet to tell you that you are right.

Facade's avatar

Well he sounds like a Grade A asshole. Overlooking little things (or signs) can lead to major problems later. If he’s not treating you with respect, take out the trash.

calvinette's avatar

Stick up for yourself. Tell him what he said was rude and that you don’t appreciate him disrespecting your family that way. Tell him you think that he has allowed the modeling thing to turn him into a snob and you are tired of his behavior. Then dump him. Ordinarily I am not a promoter of the pre-emptive dump just to save face, but I fear the way he’s been acting is a sign that he’s going to break up with you soon. Take it from one who was frequently dumped in her younger years.

Judi's avatar

Time to move on. Your heart will be less broken if YOU break up with him than if you wait for him. (This old woman has been there, done that.) Take control of your life and quit letting this guy mess with your head.
Beat him to the punch. His ego will be saying, “She broke up with me??” and you will be holding your head high, knowing you are to good to be seen with the likes of him.

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