In todays society, is it a good or bad thing to be a virgin?

A lot of people lie about it to be or get accepted by others I’m guessing.
I say it’s not a bad thing, could lead to more romance instead of pleasure in the end though.

You should be proud of yourself and continue to go with your path. Just because everyone isn’t a virgin doesn’t mean you need to give it away. It is something precious that I wish I held onto longer.

I think anyone should wait until they find someone they at least care about to loose their virginity. It takes far more self-control to wait for someone who means something to you than to give it up for fun. I think being a virgin is seen as more of a negative for guys than for girls in todays world.

Well, if you’re a virgin you’re guaranteed not to be pregnant or have STDs, so I don’t see how it could be a bad thing.

Well, its not a bad thing at least.

Neither. It’s a personal choice. It’s neither good nor bad.

@holden
– its negative because guys try to get in your pants if they know you’re a virgin. or for some reason they just stop talking to you. I dont know why, it just happens to me.

Seems like for men, it’s a bad thing. For women, it’s a good thing. (according to society)

@holden But you can still get AIDS from plenty of other things.

Stay a virgin. More and more men are learning how to trick women into thinking that they care, just to have sex.

@seventeen123 if all the guys you talk to lose interest in you when they find out you’re a virgin, be happy, because who the fuck wants to associate with people like that anyway?
@Sarcasm perhaps, but the most common medium of transmission remains sex, and I’m assuming this person isn’t a raging meth addict.

I wouldn’t let today’s society dictate anything I do. Right now, it’s “cool” for teens to have lots of sex. Stay a virgin; you’ll be glad later on.

I don’t think anyone but you should be thinking about your status in that regard. First of all, it’s not very important. Second of all, it’s no one’s business, third of all, when you want your status to change it will change. I hope it’s a nice, comfortable, loving, exciting experience when it happens.

@Sarcasm It’s actually quite hard to acquire HIV unless you are partaking in risky behavior. There aren’t “plenty” of other ways to get it.

It’s a personal choice. Society shouldn’t dictate when you decide to have sex. Also, some guys will try to get into your pants if you’re a virgin or not. They don’t seem to discriminate.

There are many, many virgins who don’t think its cool so they tell lies to make themselves seem cooler. There are a lot of lies that “cool” people tell in order to maintain their position.

Know this, then consider what people say about their “status” with appropriate skepticism.

It might be stigmatized in society, and it definitely is for males… but guys tend to think it’s hot when a girl is a virgin. Srsly. They like knowing no other dick has been there.

Your life is not going to be different by losing your virginity. In itself, virginity has no value, but it is an important ritual to go through. Everyone remembers their first time. But the only thing that is important is to listen to yourself, what you want, not lie to yourself or try to please perceived expectations from society.

How old are you? I was 19 going 20. That is very late where I come from. Don’t worry too much. It’s gonna happen.

It’s a good thing.

It’s not bad or good. What matters is what you want. There’s no reason to get rid of it just to get rid of it. The dirty little secret is that sex, while it is wonderful, is not usually wonderful at the beginning. Often masturbation is more reliably satisfying than sex with another person. There’s a lot of myth about sexuality. Too much to really sort out. The best thing to do is the thing that you are comfortable with.

Yeah, let the same society that has given us television, nuclear weapons, and both Bush administrations decide what you should do with your body.

All you have to remember is you are the one that has to answer to yourself.

it’s a bad thing in college (well, the superficial-college-frat-life, that is.) if you want to hook up with someone, the expectation is that you’re going to have sex – but no one wants to have sex with a virgin, because of the supposed clinginess that comes with it. so if people know you’re a virgin, they’re not going to want to hook up with you. and that leads to many a lonely night.

personally, i don’t think it’s a bad thing. i lost my virginity at sixteen, but that’s because i loved and trusted the person. it’s a shame when people are desperate to lose their virginity that they just throw it away. wait until you find the right person for you.

I think its a great thing to be a virgin. I have way more respect for people that are. It takes some very strong morals to remain pure in today’s society. I’m saving myself for that special girl I’ll eventually marry and I pray she will do the same for me.

@justn well, I’m not a virgin. Have I already lost your respect?

@justn Jesus man, Pure? It’s great that you value the first time for the perfect girl, but don’t value a person after what they decide to do with their genitals.

Never a bad thing. Being who you are and sticking to your convictions is NEVER a bad thing.
@asmonet pay no attention to my previous statement… wanna go misbehave? ;)

@oratio For some people, it’s not as simple as “doing something with you genitals.”

@Facade tease!

@justn A person’s worth is not based on their virginity or lack thereof.

@Facade I am sure. But if a person loses the virginity at 14 or 24 shouldn’t make a difference in how they are perceived by other people. You are not pure for not having sex. You are just inexperienced. But I agree it should mean something, the first time.

But they are just as moral whatever they choose to do. Applying ones own morality on what should be done sexually, when where and how, on other people is what makes gay people second class.

I felt a certain pride in keeping mine as long as I did (when surrounded by “looser” girls) and choosing when to loose it to the right boy. I wouldn’t want to stay a virgin my entire life. I think sex is too important a part of a loving relationship to miss it. But waiting to find that relationship was worth it.

As far as society’s opinion, I think it depends on who you’re talking to. Kids and what not think you should have sex because it’s exciting. Adults think you should wait until it’s loving. And that is exactly the difference: kids vs. adults.

@holden I never said I have less respect for someone that isn’t a virgin, I have more for people that are. Maybe admiration would be a better term in this case.

@oratio Pure sexually. No one is perfect, everyone has a sin nature, that’s just how thing are now. You can value people however you want, and I’ll value people how I want.

@avvooooooo Did I ever use the word ‘worth’? No, I don’t believe I did. Everyone is equal in God’s eyes no matter what they’ve done in their life. Sins can be forgiven, but consequences can’t be avoided.

More than half the people here are saying that it’s really not such a big deal as long as its “when you’re ready, comfortable, with someone you love., etc.” . Hm, makes me think. Why the hell is the divorce rate so high? Because somewhere, sex, innocence, and purity lost thier values.
@oratio – im 17. read my name.
@smack – i am in college & that really is how it is, that’s why i wrote that sometimes guys will just stop talking to you- because they just want that hook up…

@seventeen123 In my experience sex has very little to do with divorce in general. They most often divorce because they don’t talk enough about the right things to each other and appreciate each other enough. This is not sex related. You have to take care of every relationship you have. It’s the same with the relationship you have with employers, employees, siblings and friends. A boyfriend and marriage needs attention, otherwise it will crack and break.

Sex and love are not the same. Sex with someone you don’t love is just pleasure and can be fulfilling at times. Sex with someone you love is a wonderful gift that you give to each other. None of it is bad, if you feel good about it.

@oratio
– It’s funny. My parents tell me that my generation is focused on “feeling good” & not what’s actually right or wrong.
Seems like they’re a couple generations off.
– If sex & divorce don’t correlate as much as I think they do, then why is sex the main thing that has changed. Go 50 years back, the divorce rate was extremely low. As many people back then, as now, didnt “take care of their relationships.” They still lasted.
The biggest thing that’s changed really is sex. Outside of marriage and all. It’s funny to me that I’m the one not arguing for sex outside of marriage, being 17 & all.
I just don’t believe in doing what “feels” good without thinking about the consequences.

@seventeen123 If you’ve already made up your mind, why ask? If you already know all the answers, why ask?

@justn Worth/worthy of respect. Which would be worth. You did say it, even if you don’t think you did.

@seventeen123

50 years? Hm, are you talking about the 60’s? I don’t agree with you on that. What has really changed that matters is not the attitude towards sex as much as the attitude towards marriage and relationships. In the old days where people stayed married people still cheated on each other, but they didn’t get divorced as much.

@avvooooooo
– I don’t know why I ask. Maybe for reassurance, the peer pressure of it to me is pretty big. Honestly, I’m pretty. & So then a bunch of guys hit on me. & I am like the only one who won’t “hook-up” with them.. It’s just getting to my head i think..

@oratio
-Sure they might have cheated, but for the most part.. they didn’t have sex before marriage.

@seventeen123 The main thing that has happened in the past 40 years is no fault divorce. It became easier to get divorced, there wasn’t as much to prove, laws have changed. People who wanted to get divorced 50 years ago had it much harder because of the laws at the time. Another thing is that spousal abuse wasn’t really recognized, punished, or anything else the way it is now (which is still pretty pitiful sometimes). Women weren’t in the workplace as much and often didn’t have a way to support themselves. All male judges were likely to side with men, no matter what. All factors led to the fact that getting a divorce was hard… if not next to impossible.

People had sex before marriage. 50 years ago, 100 years ago, 500 years ago. Its a fact.

@avvooooooo
– I still don’t think the numbers were as high as they are today.

@seventeen123 Saving oneself for the right one in marriage won’t create a more stable marriage. Being married to “the friend of your life” where you have an open, honest relationship where you talk to each other and see to each others needs will.

@oratio
-If you don’t mind me asking, are you married? & If so, is it your first marriage?

@seventeen123 Yes, the culture has changed. Its not as taboo. But the simple fact is, sex before marriage is not a predictor of marital stability, nor is lack.

I’ve studied marriage and families through a number of bachelor’s level and master’s level courses. I’ve read the research.

@avvooooooo
-Sure it’s not a predictor of stability, but in a sense it is.. If it shows the character of the individuals? Seems like individuals who value their morals and beliefs, and would stand for them, would have a stronger marriage..

@seventeen123 No, I am not married. I have yet to meet the right one. Two of my ex’s are. Happily so. And those cherries were popped before my time.

It’s not wrong to wait. It’s not wrong to only have been with your spouse. It works. What is wrong is to believe sex or no sex is the key to happiness. If it feels wrong to have sex, then it is wrong. For you.

@oratio
-This question is not about happiness. It’s about the opinion of others on the value of losing virginity, plain and simple.
It’s really interesting how your answers reflect your life. Seems as if you are biased to defend your own self.
Sorry for the bluntness.
& No, I am not a “know it all” 17 yr old.
Hell I am far from wise, but I do like to share my thoughts with the older generations.

@seventeen123 People who are more religious do the same things, but they’re just hypocritcal about them. People who believe women should submit to their husbands are more likely to hit their wives if they get uppity.

Religion, morals, what have you are not predictors of stability either.

Effective communication is the single greatest predictor of stability.

@avvooooooo Yeah, I’m pretty darn sure I didn’t say or imply the word ‘worth’. But read into my answer what you will, its not my intent.

P.S. I love the whisper.

Depends on your age.

At your age which I believe is about 17, it’s ALWAYS a good thing to be a virgin.

@Dr_C: Do I ever, darling! ;)