Guys, is it somehow worse if your wife leaves you for another woman?

I think any red-blooded straight male would at least start off wondering if he was inadequate in some way, question his masculinity.

If he was smart though, he’d figure out that if his wife left him for another woman then it wasn’t for something he could give her anyway.

Not that I wouldn’t hurt like hell though.

Are there anything other than red-blooded people? And I personally would feel upset if my partner had lied to me about his/her sexual bent.

yes, there are blue bloods.

I would venture to guess that for very primitive reasons it is not as difficult. That’s because we have evolved to be very protective about the chances our genes have to survive. If one is replaced by another male, that is a very primal threat. If one is replaced by a woman, that threat does not exist.

Of course it is still difficult emotionally, and the feelings must be terrible, but the kind of primitive rage that jealousy over a male can trigger will not be present.

I think I’d be less upset.

yeah it makes us feel like we some how failed as a man, much much worse

I think I’d would be much less upset, because it wouldn’t be that they necessarily didn’t like me anymore but they didn’t like my gender. I could understand this. I don’t think it would be as bad. For men, I wouldn’t think it would be different though.

I think it would be just as bad emotionally. Losing someone to another always sucks. But at the same time it’s not such a nasty hit at the ego if it’s for another woman.

My ex-boyfriend was left by his wife for a woman. It was way worse than if she had left him for another man. He felt inadequate and like he was such a failure he had put her off men forever. Total blow to his ego.

@Supacase Wow, he really took it to heart. I’d figure a guy would be hurt of course, but then all his friends would be like “Dude it was a chick, it’s not your fault she figured out she was gay, it was going to happen sooner or later.”

What does ‘failing as a man’ mean?

Personally, I wouldn’t take it as hard as if my wife left me for another man.

If she left me for another guy then I would always wonder what he offered that I couldn’t and feel like shit, but if she left me for another woman then I would think that what she wanted was something that no man could offer and my ego wouldn’t be nearly as bruised.

Nope…. Don’t believe it would be “Worse” .

Perhaps her TRUE sexual orientation was awaken in her ..and she needed to do what she needed to do for Herself…

Not really a spouse, but I had a friend who had a girlfriend, who left him for another girl. He cried for a week, and we thought he was absolutely in love with this girl… apparently not. He said that he was not upset about her leaving, but upset because after losing his girlfriend to another girl, his ego deflated and he had lots of questions about his manhood. He’d prefer that he lost her to another guy, than to lose her to a girl.

But honestly, it is not about the guy. It is about the girl being confused.

@higherground just because a girl leaves a guy for another girl doesn’t mean she was ever confused. maybe she was always bisexual.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Mmm but she made it clear that after being together with my friend , she realized that she is a lesbian ! She didn’t even mention about being bisexual .

@higherground ah, well either way, she didn’t sound confused

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Okay (= Maybe I am the one who is confused (about her situation)! HAHA !

I’d prefer it actually. I tend to keep my ex-wives and ex-girlfriends close and on friendly terms. Never have had the pleasure of a threesome – hope to some day. It would be ideal!

Ouch!! Either way is not good for anyone. There will allways be questions, just different ones.

I’ve experienced both. They both were hurtful experiences. Being left for another woman had a greater impact because I had three children with the wife of 17 years who came out while our children were still quite young.

You ultimately have to accept that a woman who longs to be the lover of another woman will not be satisfied to stay with her male spouse. It would have been better if she had been free to discover her orientation and needs long before she married a man.

Bottom line there is no shame in your not being a woman. Mourn the lost relationship, and when you are ready, move on.