Social Question

YCLYHO's avatar

What are the signs that a person is insecure?

Asked by YCLYHO (834points) December 17th, 2009

are there any tell-tale signs?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

37 Answers

Gossamer's avatar

continous questions about themselves…always seeking reassurance…
personal confidence is the key to success in life

YCLYHO's avatar

yes that is one example, seeking reassurance, could be a sign of insecurity :) thanks

filmfann's avatar

The won’t look you in the eye.
Their voice is softer, almost like they are embarassed to be heard.

chelseababyy's avatar

When they’re constantly looking for compliments.

HumourMe's avatar

Second guessing themselves and doubting their abilities.

Starson's avatar

Everybody is insecure in some respect or other, whether it be professionally, socially or something unique to a person. As already mentioned, always seeking reassurance is a sign and doubting their abilities among other things – I am just repeating what has already been said but I think it’s hit the nail on the head

Blackberry's avatar

Ahhhh shit… it bad that I do pretty much all of these things lol : (

YCLYHO's avatar

@Blackberry haha! izzat right? :D

UScitizen's avatar

Asking questions on Fluther.

Jude's avatar

People who bully others tend to be insecure.

YCLYHO's avatar

@jmah oh yes!! very good answer, i agree!

Gokey's avatar

Defensiveness, competitiveness. and the constant need to compare yourself to others.

Blackberry's avatar

@YCLYHO Yes, it is true unfortunately. I guess my problem is: When I’m not this way, I feel like an arrogant, narcissistic bastard lol. It seems I can only be on either side of the spectrum.

YCLYHO's avatar

@Blackberry youre an all or nothing type of guy :)

Kelly_Obrien's avatar

They constantly ask people about their insecurity.

YCLYHO's avatar

@Kelly_Obrien haha! very good! (not):)

Kelly_Obrien's avatar

@YCLYHO <a href=“” title=“Smiley”><img src=“” alt=“Smiley” border=“0” /></a>

Kelly_Obrien's avatar


SirGoofy's avatar

oh….I don’t know if I can…(ulp) answer this.

SuperMouse's avatar

The most insecure people I know tend to be the ones with the greatest need to slam other people.

gailcalled's avatar

There is also a tendency to over-apologize, to announce feelings of guilt or shame and to label issues important to them as “silly,” “nerdy,” “uncool,” “stupid” and the like.

wundayatta's avatar

Constant need for reassurance? Check.
Doubting of abilities? Check.
Questions about how others see me? Check.
Need to compare self to others? Check.
Guilt and shame? Check.

Extreme amounts of anxiety.
Certainty that I’m a fuck-up.
Also certain that everyone else is doing [whatever] better than I am and therefore having more fun and being happier.
Unwillingness to try difficult things. Certain that if I do try it, it can’t be difficult.
Certain that everything good will turn bad once it has anything to do with me
More comfortable with fear, pain, and failure than happiness and success.
Ready to sabotage anything that looks like it could succeed.
But not—
Needing to slam other

Wow! Not something that it seems worth being. Not that I could stop, of course! ;-) In a way, being insecure is kind of freeing after a while. You can do anything because you know that everyone else knows you’ll find a way to screw it up.

Naked_Homer's avatar

self depreciation, the idea that I am going to put myself down or point my faults out before you can

I also believe that bullying is a form of insecurity. I think it is an attempt to demean the person and or activity so as to make it seem less important. It’s a way of dealing with their concern about their own inability to do it well and hope it may not mean as much if they don’t.

YARNLADY's avatar

I doubt there are any people who are wholly ‘insecure’, but all of us have some things that we allow to trigger the feelings of insecurity that lurk in all of us.

Jude's avatar

Sabotaging their relationship.

gailcalled's avatar

@Naked_Homer (self-deprecation, dear heart. Your intrinsic value never changes.)

wundayatta's avatar

@gailcalled And what is that intrinsic value, anyway? Hmmmmm?

gailcalled's avatar

@daloon: We all define our own value, remember, and it is always good.

gailcalled's avatar

@daloon: Afterthought; I was commenting on the misuse of “depreciation,” which I did find charming, although off-the-mark.

Naked_Homer's avatar

@gailcalled – wow thanks! Was that ever a fowl up. Yo have done more for my confidence in spelling than anyone I know.

Zen_Again's avatar

Raising your voice.

YARNLADY's avatar

@Zen_Again Maybe raising your voice has other meanings, such as when parents yell at their children.

DrC's avatar

trying to have complete control of a relationship
always deferring to the other person’s opinion for fear of being rejected
never having an opinion or preference
asking about every detail of your day, thoughts, activities
constantly asking for reassurance if they are attractive, if you love them, if everything is ok

Just_Justine's avatar

@wundayatta gosh that sounded like me

Crossroadsgrl's avatar

lol !
Every question I’ve asked on here has been these things. :)
I’ve asked continous questions about the same basic thing concerning a decision I’m trying to finalize…and , well not “seeked reassurance” but YES, !
I’ve seeked reassurance about the topic here too. !

Aren’t these okay if you then take the answers and go do something very BRAVE with them?!

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