General Question

zarnold's avatar

How to be more outgoing?

Asked by zarnold (695points) February 27th, 2008

small talk, etc?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

10 Answers

young_mommy21's avatar

I use to be very shy and reserved, but I just constantly told myself I am beautiful and who cares what other people think. To this day I speak my mind with out hesitation.

squirbel's avatar

I was shy in high school. Before I came to college, I swore things would be different. Here are things I did:

- Smile! – everyone who is decent loves a smiler. Smile at people in the hall, say “hey” to anyone you walk past on the sidewalk. This helps to get you used to initiating.

- Imagine that the other person is the shy one, and you aren’t. Talk to them to get to know them.

-. Looking for something to talk about? Observe them. You’ve been an observer a long time, you’re a pro. Turn those observations into a topic!

zarnold's avatar

thanks..I’ll definitely try these!

ironhiway's avatar

squirbel has a lot of great ideas,
You might also consider getting involved in something that puts you around people of similar interest. has a lot of ways you can do that.
The biggest benefit’s are you can focus on your interest, if you happen to meet someone that you enjoy talking with, then things will get to develop at a lower level of stress. Instead of asking someone out and trying to get to know them you get a chance to get to know a few people and proceed from there. This actually allows you to get to know someone on a deeper level before deciding to pursue something more

okc405's avatar

get drunk, it lowers inhibitions

Bri_L's avatar

Squirbel has it on the ball.
Another great tool is ask questions. What are you studying? Your sport? Etc. Get them talking about themselves.
My twin brother was the loud talkative one and I was the “quiet one” 3 months before I graduated high school I started making all the jokes I wanted to. saying high when I wanted to talking to the people I wanted to. Basically being myself. My yearbook is FILLED with sayings like “I wish I had gotten to know the real you sooner” “you should have stepped out from your brothers shadow sooner” etc. I can be unnerving but if your true to yourself you will fall into place with where your comfortable.

twosolitudes's avatar

Don’t over-think the situation, just let your self come out; say what you want to say, and don’t worry about what people may think (you won’t know for sure until you say it anyway).

Don’t hold back. You’ll be surprised how well some people respond to your spontenaity.

ravenhon's avatar

You just have to come out of your shell. It can be hard to do because you don’t exactly know what people are into. Basically, you have to decide who you are and be that person. For someone who is normally reserved, it’s really hard. You need to throw caution to the wind and decide that anyone who doesn’t like the real you isn’t worth your time.

LuhvKiller's avatar

This is a problem going on the alot of people. I was very very shy in highschool. I was sometime day dream in class of being more like some of the more popular girls. But as I got older I realized everybody is a certain way for a reason. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, ADD, and Social Anxiety disorder. The doctor told me the only way to come of your shell was to tell yourself the opposite of what you were feeling. I felt that I was ugly and I didn’t matter and stuff like that. I told myself i was beautiful and i started to believe it. I started to go places more I began to flirt with guys cause i was more confident. And i use to think I needed a guy to make me feel beautiful, just to hear a guy tell me i was cute made me feel great. I realize now its all about you! You can just be yourself and be real you wont have to worry. You can spark up a conversation easily just let it flow. If they’re not feelin it then it just wasn’t yours. YOu know? Just be confident and it’ll all fall into place. Trust me my doc help me work on my probs. it works!

LuhvKiller's avatar

@zarnold Whatever you do, dont use alcohol as liquid courage. All it will do is have you dependent on it. I tried that and I stayed drunk lol that was before I went to the doc. Just smile and be yourself. Everybody loves a nice person. Tell yourself ur hot and everything will be fine! Good friends is always a plus too! Just a little advice! If you need me i’ll be here bud!

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