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judyprays's avatar

Meet in the middle so neither are unhappy or do it all the way, one way and make one person happy?

Asked by judyprays (1307points) January 9th, 2010

let’s take baking.
i’m not crazy about sweet, she really likes sweet.
she baked her dessert with less sugar than she would like, but it’s still too sweet for me.
i would rather her already make it all the way sweet, so at least she is happy – her argument is this way, at least neither of us is very unhappy.
what are your thoughts?

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21 Answers

PandoraBoxx's avatar

Be grateful for the consideration, and eat it with a smile on your face. Just eat less, and slowly.

And share the rest!

john65pennington's avatar

Well, she is trying to meet you halfway and thats a gold star you should be giving her. this is what realtionships are all about. if she had said she wanted her way and the heck with you, then you would have a problem. but, she did not and proves she is doing her part to make things work. all you two need is a meeting of your minds and this problem will be resolved. my wife likes sweet and low for her coffee and i like equal. we did not divorce over this, instead, we each bought a small box of our favorite. we solved this problem pronto. you can, too.

JLeslie's avatar

Generally, I think do it all the way as long as it is not really hurting anyone and as long as one person is not always getting their way. Compromise many times means both people aren’t happy, what good is that?

CyanoticWasp's avatar

I just flat don’t eat what I don’t like. I already eat far too much of what I do like. I don’t make any apologies, either. If it’s made in a way or with ingredients that I know I don’t like, then I don’t try it. There’s enough variety in the world that I don’t feel like I’m stinting myself.

She should make it the way she likes it and enjoy it. Bon apetite!

VohuManah's avatar

Well, due to the wording of the question, the first option is better because you are both happy. When neither are un happy, that is a good thing. Was that intentional? If so, you deserve much lurve.

jamielynn2328's avatar

I think it depends on what the situation is. If it has to do with cake, then I kind of agree with you. But when it comes to more serious matters, compromise can be invaluable.

JLeslie's avatar

@VohuManah I perceive the first option as no one is happy, not that both are happy.

@judyprays What is nice is that both of you want to make each other happy. She is willing to put less sugar because she wants you to enjoy it, you are willing to let her make it the way she prefers because you want her to be happy. I think get two desserts.

Your_Majesty's avatar

Can’t you tell her about that?,sometime a constructive contribution is better than a lie.

hug_of_war's avatar

In serious matters, compromise is key
In matters like this, I’d probably make two desserts or switch between desserts each time they were made.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

@jamielynn2328 brings out a key point.

There is often a middle ground where both parties can enjoy and feel respected. That is much better than both being dissatisfied. It takes effort and trial and error. In important things, it is well worth the effort.

toomuchcoffee911's avatar

When I was younger, I always tried to explain that I should always get my way instead of compromising with my sister because it made more sense to have one person happy rather than having two people not unhappy.

john65pennington's avatar

2nd Answer. when my wife and i first married, a cook she was not. one night, she fixed a blackberry cobbler that words cannot describe. i think she substituted salt for sugar in the receipe. i sat there and did not say a word. not a word. i just waited until she took her first bite. she said to me, “it needs more sugar”. did she not notice the overflow of salt? did her mouth turn inside out like mine? i still did not say a word. i ate the my blackberry cobbler with a smile on my face. i did ask for another bottle of water. i was dying inside. after that night. the remainder of the blackberry cobbler stayed in the fridge, until it molded. i did not touch it…..she did not touch it. i think she knew i knew that she knew, but never said a word, either. when you love someone, you just do crazy things. keeping my mouth shut was a truly wonderful blessing for me that night. we are still married. she has not made another blackberry cobbler, ever.

JLeslie's avatar

@john65pennington I wouldn’t do that. I would say I didn’t like it. I would want my husband to tell me he didn’t like it. I love making him food he enjoys, if I don’t get feedback how do I know for sure what to make? I guess you said she knew anyway, but I would rather my husband tell me.

john65pennington's avatar

We had only been married one week and i did not have the___ to tell her. she was only 18 and this was her very first dinner to make for me. i just could not tell her. i guess i just loved her too much to make her cry and she would have.

JLeslie's avatar

@john65pennington Awww. Yes, that is a special circumstance.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

@john65pennington….....The world needs more nice guys like you.

Fernspider's avatar

@john65pennington – awwww xoxo, that is such a cute story. Very sweet :) .

philosopher's avatar

Relationships work best when you are willing to compromise for the happiness of the other person. My husband and I discuss everything. We work it out together. We respect and care about each other.

YARNLADY's avatar

When we have different tastes in food, I always make two, one for him and one for me. I’m lucky that our tastes in most things are the same, such as how warm or cold it should be.

Sophief's avatar

I would do anything to make my s/o happy. If we are talking about foods then I am always looking for new stuff to make him. Over christmas I made a few things I wouldn’t even dream of eating, but I made them because he wanted them. If I make new things for both of us to eat and there is something in there I don’t like, I can easily pick it out. I’m not spiteful or selfish, I don’t look out for me, I do everything for him and I mean everything.

lonelydragon's avatar

I agree with your girlfriend. It’s hard for me to be happy knowing that the other person is unhappy, so I’d rather compromise.

Next time, maybe your girlfriend could make two small batches, one with sugar and one without. I have done this before with chocolate chip cookies. My SO does not like chocolate chips, so we always do one batch with chips and one without.

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