Social Question

Oxymoron's avatar

What are the thing(s) that annoy you about the opposite sex the most? Why do these annoy you?

Asked by Oxymoron (1239points) February 7th, 2010

State your gender. What are things that annoy you or piss you off about the opposite gender? Why? Any stories?

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97 Answers

Spinel's avatar

Female. Where I work, there is a guy so vague and short sentenced, it’s ridiculous. Others are there are like him, but not as bad. Let give ya an example.

Him: “We got more.”
Me: “More what?”
Him:“Books.”
Me: “Ok. What kind?”
Him: “Fiction.”
Me:“What genre, we have to self them in the right-”
Him:“Softcover.”
Me: “That’s not a genre.”
Him:“So?”

Steve_A's avatar

I’m male.

I’d say one thing that annoys me about females,are the ones who dress in certain fashion and they look at you weird as to why I am looking.

Seriously cover it up, if you don’t want that kind of attention Jeez.

Violet's avatar

I’m female, and it bothers me when men pee on the toilet seat.

ETpro's avatar

Male here. I really, REALLY like females. No complaints.

Dan_DeColumna's avatar

Male.

A female stating they do not care or do not have a preference about something when they very much do.

Alternatively, a female being convinced that a male who states they do not care or do not have a preference about something isn’t being forthright and actually does have a preference or does care.

In short, men are more often indifferent about stuff.

When a guy says “I don’t care”, he likely means it.
When a girl says “I don’t care”, it’s a tossup.

Did anyone else, besides myself, understand that?
-Dan

odali's avatar

I’m a male, and it bothers me when females are so damn indecisive. One minute they love you, the next they never want to speak to you again, so you stop speaking, two days later, they love you again. What the hell?! Make up your minds!

odali's avatar

@Dan_DeColumna Agreed in full – I hate that as well, like where do you want to go out to eat?
guy: I don’t care as long as its food.
Girl: i dont care either, you choose.
Guy: Mediterranian grille.
Girl: i dont really want that
Guy: Olive garden
Girl: I don’t really want that either
Guy: Thai food?
girl: No.
Guy: Indian?
girl: no.
Guy: So what do you want then?
Girl: I don’t care.

Dan_DeColumna's avatar

@odali

That conversation is Right On!

Exactly what I was talking about.

Or, “No honey, I don’t care if you go off to deer camp.”

Granted, every case is different, but, if you believe that one, I have this bridge I’d like to sell…

Arisztid's avatar

Shopping.

My wife does not do this but I have had many exes who have. Actually she likes to shop and can take hours but knows to leave me at home..

This sums it up nicely.

I just hate shopping malls and, when drug to one, by now I just plunk down on a bench and am ready to wait the 2–3 hours while the lady shops. I subscribe to the guerrilla warfare method of shopping: decide what you want, formulate as painless a method of obtaining it as possible, execute the maneuver, get the hell out.

Then there are things like this (my wife also does not do this) and this is an extreme example. I have exes like this:

Her: do you like this dress?
me: yes, it is quite lovely
her: but it clashes with my eyes/makes my butt look big/etc
me: it is quite nice but, if you do not like it, pick another
her: I knew you didn’t like it
me: I did not say that… it is quite lovely but, if you want, pick one you like better
her: harumph!!
me: <facepalm>

Her: do I look fat?
me: no dear, you are truly lovely.
her: I know I’ve gained weight, how much do you think I weigh?
me: <frantically trying to remember her last weight> {{give a number}}
her: <if I got it right>I love you so much! <if I do not> you think I’m FAT!
me: <sweats bullets and thinks frantically for that last weight> Uh… uh… I was mistaken, I think you weigh {{give a number}}
her: <if I got it right> well, ok, I guess you’re right. <if I did not, gods help me>
me: <knows I am going to spend the next few days bolstering her confidence and possibly sleeping alone>

SeventhSense's avatar

1. Let’s talk
2. How are you feeling?
3. Talking while we’re watching a movie
4. Imagining I give a shit about almost anything including what she’s wearing. If she doesn’t have a clown outfit on it’s all good.
5. Not understanding that men have 3 requirements- food, sex, silence

IBERnineD's avatar

I am female
I get annoyed when guys:
*can’t take hints (whether good hints or bad ones)
*don’t tell me when I piss them off
*act as if they don’t want something, when really they are just gauging for my response

onesecondregrets's avatar

Men an women have interchangable actions and behaviors, if that makes sense. But one thing I can’t stand of guys is chauvenistic “cook me dinner and give me sex when I’d like” behavior. It pisses me the fuck off, and just degrading women. You don’t have to pamper us but at least treat us equal. I hate how guys pressure sex, it makes me sick to my stomach and has happened personally way too much.

Story: Just last night, my friend’s older brother was telling a story from when him and her other older brother were on vacation and he was ridiculously drunk at a bar. He starts the story off by telling us how he told his brother he was going to get the hot one of these two girls that had just walked in, then proceeds about him and the “hot one” talking and how at some point he ends up “whipping it out” at the bar while talking to the girl. I didn’t even know what to think dude.

Then he told another story of how he took another girl back to the hotel another night while on vacation that he had just met, they were fucking and his brother walked in, he pulled the covers off the girl so her chest was exposed and says to his brother “check those out, nice right?” while continuing to have sex.

I can see the “humor” in it, especially guy humor and on the surface I’ll laugh about shit like that just to not be dramatic, but deep down, it makes me sick.

ModernEpicurian's avatar

I hate how I can do everything I can think of to make a woman (someone in particular in mind) happy, run around doing things that she wouldn’t have dreamt of in a million years. But, I then miss one other thing that she has thought of and for that reason I must therefore be a dick.

Makes me sick.

partyparty's avatar

I am female.

I don’t understand why men can’t understand what we females are REALLY saying. You have to spell it out 100% exactly what you want or what you are saying. For example,

She: Do you want to go on holiday?
He: If you want
She: Where shall we go?
He: Not bothered
She: Any ideas?
He: No not really
She: Are you saying you don’t want to go on holiday?
He: It’s up to you
She: Well do you have any suggestions?
He: No
She: OK are you saying you want to stay at home?
He: Yes if you want to do.

What I am REALLY saying is ‘I would like to go on holiday, and I would like some input from you’. Men just don’t understand this.

Dan_DeColumna's avatar

@partyparty

Then say “I would like to go on holiday, and I would like some input from you.”

Be literal. It’ll save you time and lower your man’s blood pressure.

-Dan

partyparty's avatar

@Dan_DeColumna But WHY do we have to spell it out? I really don’t understand. We females can pick up on what a male is REALLY saying, why can’t they?

Scooby's avatar

I’m a male & what really boils my piss when I’ve been out on a date with a woman is her constant texting to her friends every ten minutes, while the evening is being wasted, when I’ve asked her what she’s texting she said about what a great time she was having???? DOH!!!
Also..
I turn up on time to pick her up, she’s still in her dressing gown & putting on her face!! :-/
When we eventually get to where we are going, she bitches about all the other women there!! :-/
What really gets me is the constant attention they need too, demanding hugs & Kisses in the most inappropriate places, like while in the middle of a meal in a packed restaurant!! :-/
Then it’s the “WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT”??? speech code for I’m gonna suss you out!! What are you hiding scenario!! :-/

Still I guess we all have our faults :-/ Lol……..

partyparty's avatar

@ModernEpicurian Love your answer LOLL. Doesn’t that tell you something? You MUST try harder!!

Dan_DeColumna's avatar

@partyparty: I cannot read your mind. You may think you can read mine, but you cannot. Expecting others to understand your intentions without explaining them, and assuming you know the intentions of others without asking, is simply ridiculous. Not to mention, definitely not good communication technique.

In short, say what you mean and mean what you say. The same goes for men as well.

ucme's avatar

Women can read your fucking minds.That shit is truly freaky & not a little inconvenient at times.

thriftymaid's avatar

little hairs in the bathroom sink
toenail clippings on the floor

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I’m male. What annoys me is whoever created women gave them those awesome bodies, those soft lips, and the ability to make us feel great, and then wired their brains a little differently than ours, so we can’t quite figure them out.

ubersiren's avatar

I’m female and I’m most annoyed at generalizations about women from men- sexism. I don’t see this much in real life, but from online strangers, it really comes out. Other than those few morons, I quite like the opposite sex and I’m more comfortable with them than I am many ladies.

IchtheosaurusRex's avatar

Male. So why can’t I leave the toilet seat up? It’s no more work for you to put it down than it is for me to raise it.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Penis into buzzsaw.

Aethelwine's avatar

What @ubersiren said. can’t say it any better :)

tedibear's avatar

For those of you nattering on about “why can’t she say,” or “why can’t he say,” Please go read “You Just Don’t Understand,” by Deborah Tannen. Learn what you can do to help each other towards better understanding.

Ichy – Can’t we all just put down the seat and the lid? It looks nicer. :-)

westy81585's avatar

Male. I hate self deprecation, be it just fishing for compliments or legitimately thinking less of yourself (seriously, women have RIDICULOUSLY low self esteem). And the “I’m Fine” thing, when you’re clearly not fine…. that one is VERY irritating. Saying that to your guy is a fast track to fight town. Just say whats wrong.

SeventhSense's avatar

@ETpro
You don’t know women if nothing about them annoys you. You just have an ideal of a woman.

nebule's avatar

I am female and having read all those answers I definitely have to say that what irritates me about men is what and how they think about women

life_after_2012's avatar

The only thing about women that piss’ me off are the women that use their kids to get even with thier father because he doesn’t want to be with them. Its disgusting how some woman can totally fuck thier own kid’s head up tremendously just because the father only wants to see his kid and not them.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@lynneblundell I would like to hear more about this. Please expand a little.

IBERnineD's avatar

@westy81585 I do see this from a lot of girls especially my age, but oddly enough I have been finding that extreme low self esteem in guys that are in there mid to late twenties. In fact just last night I talking to a guy that was acting all shy around me, and like he had a crush but no chance. Which is endearing at first, but I had already told him I liked him, he has kissed me, and I have know him and been friends with him for 3 years. I mean the whole “I’m not good around girls” shtick can’t be used your entire life.

wundayatta's avatar

This thing about mice. It annoys me no end when my wife won’t go into the kitchen until I have cleared the room of dead mice. She won’t even set traps.

Well, if anything, this attitude was set before I met her. It’s forgivable. But what really sticks in my craw is that she taught our daughter the same fear. These things are not sex related (I hope) but damn, when women fall into such stereotypes, I want to poke my eyes out with a red hot needle.

trailsillustrated's avatar

female. these two things enrage me : I’ll let you clean that up, put that away, or whatever. You’ll ‘let’ me? oh thanks. and, ‘do you want to go fishing, camping or to chicago for one night?’ me: do I have a choice, cause no, I don’t want to go. Him: no, you have to go. Me: then why’d you ask. what’s this do I want to stuff?

SeventhSense's avatar

@trailsillustrated
You know you love to clean up. It’s your nature. :)~

Sophief's avatar

Female. Everything bothered me about my ex. Nothing bothers me with my s/o. I’ve never understood the whole toilet seat thing though, if it’s up I put it down, big deal!

trailsillustrated's avatar

@SeventhSense oh yeah and I love to get ‘permission’ rips at hair

SeventhSense's avatar

@trailsillustrated
oh wait don’t rip out your hair..it’s part of your feminine charm…in fact can you wear it up? i like it better that way

trailsillustrated's avatar

@SeventhSense it’ up- turn of the century around here—

Dr_C's avatar

I am male.
It irks me when women go batshit crazy over not having the perfect pair of brown or black shoes among the 35 pairs each color they already posses.

It annoys me when I’m watching a movie and she’s asking me about what’s about to happen next as if i have some sort of crystal ball with me.

The worst is when I’m watching a sporting event… they wait until the most exciting part to begin to ask a billion questions about mundane dietails… some even related to the actual sporting event…

life_after_2012's avatar

@Dr_C lmao!!!!! your so right.

tedibear's avatar

@trailsillustrated – maybe the woman in your life says that because you don’t ever put stuff away and she’s trying to not be a complete bitch about it? Just a random thought…

@Dr_C – I’m a woman and I don’t understand the shoe thing. I own 4 pair of dress shoes, black, brown & navy high heels and white flats for summer. If what I own doesn’t match that, I pick what’s closest.

@wundayatta – I don’t set mousetraps because I’m afraid I’ll snap my finger in one!

Dr_C's avatar

@tedibear39 you are a gem among women. Most women I know have many different style shoes in each color…. why i don’t know.

wundayatta's avatar

@tedibear39 Of course, when a guy sets a mousetrap, it’s really of no consequence if he snaps his finger in one. I get it. [nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more]*
.
.
.
.
.
.
* Reference available upon request—or you could Google it. Never mind. Here it is.

tedibear's avatar

@Dr_C – I’m not sure I’m a gem, more that I hate, hate, hate shopping. Especially for clothes.

@wundayatta – LOL! I meant that my husband has far more strength in his hands and fingers and does a better job at not getting one snapped off. Silly, silly wundyatta. ;-) And I knew the reference without the link.

wundayatta's avatar

@tedibear39 Ten points to you. But others may not be so well-read, so to speak.

Keysha's avatar

Mine is the obtuseness of some males. it HAS to be deliberate. (Arisztid is a perfect example)

Me: Are you hungry?
Him: I could eat.
Me: what do you want?
Him: I don’t care
Me: (lists several choices) Any of those sound good?
Him: That sounds ok.
Me: Which one?
Him: I don’t care.
Me (getting frustrated): Name at least a food group!
Him: something edible.
Me (throwing my figurative hands in the air): So whatever I fix you will eat?
Him: That sounds good.
Me: Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!
Him: No, I don’t like peanut butter.
Me: AAARRGGGHH!

Aethelwine's avatar

@Dr_C I own only 4 pairs of shoes. Dress shoes, snow boots, flip flops and sandals. (no big decision there.) I also enjoy a good movie and game. (I don’t ask questions!) ;)

Arisztid's avatar

<raises finger>... @Keysha is my wife and guilty as charged.

“Edible” is a food group to me. There is edible and inedible.

Dr_C's avatar

@jonsblond that and the jalapeño thing make you the perfect wife!

SeventhSense's avatar

@IBERnineD
It takes a while for that to sink in. Some guys don’t even realize they’re in the door and they’re still doing their sales talk. Chalk it up to awkwardness. Like Ok what do I do at this point. Of course that never happens with us older 40+ gentleman.
You lift your hair and show me your neck well… it’s on… :)

partyparty's avatar

@Keysha That is EXACTLY what I was saying. We females just don’t get proper answers. We have to extract every piece of information we want.
@Dan_DeColumna Keysha has explained perfectly what I was saying. We ARE asking for input, but not getting any!

IBERnineD's avatar

@SeventhSense I guess that just means I’m going to have to set my sights on older men!

SeventhSense's avatar

I wouldn’t hold it against you…

Arisztid's avatar

I have learned to just toss a mental coin and pick one… saves on Keysha’s frustration.

partyparty's avatar

@Arisztid But why can’t you men give us proper answers? That’s all we are asking for. I fully understand Keysha LOL

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I am sexed as a female but don’t have a gender identity (though am perceived as a woman by others because of appearance) – I don’t have an opposite gender and this entire question (with its stereotypes and generalizations) is what annoys me – more than anything the opposite sex can do to annoy me (which is nothing, unless they’re sexist but that’s not specific to any gender).

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

There are so many oddities that are annoying (though bearable) that it would take a while to put them all out there. We’ve covered many already on fluther.

Convo 1:
Me: Let’s go eat. Wherever you want to go is fine with me. Pick a place.
Her: I don’t care, you pick something.
Me: Ok, let’s go to the Macaroni Grill.
Her: Hmm, well I was thinking more like Olive Garden.
Me: You want to go to Olive Garden?
Her: No, we can go to the Macaroni Grill if you want.
Me: (in my head: dammit woman..) Let’s go to Olive Garden.

Convo 2:
Her: You want to watch a movie with me?
Me: Sure, what are we gonna watch?
Her: I want to watch the duchess.
Me: (in my head: please God let the DVD be scratched and unreadable or I’ll die of boredom.. please kids.. you’ve scratched all the other DVD’s .. please tell me you were thorough.) Ok.
Her: (as the movie rolls) That guy is an asshole. He’s such a prick. Why do men treat women like that?
Me: Umm. What? What did I do?

Convo 3:
Her: You never want to spend time with me.
Me: Ok, you want to watch this football game with me?
Her: You know I don’t like football. Come watch a movie with me.
Me: Ok, what are we watchin?
Her: The sound of music.
Me: (in my head: so, it’s only “spending time with you” if we do what you wanna do?) Alright, let me get my pillow.
Her: Don’t just go to sleep!
Me: Well I’ll try not to but this movie is really boring to me.
Her: You just don’t want to spend time with me do you?!

Let’s face it, I could go on forever. We’re just programmed differently. I’ve become less and less annoyed with these anomalies over the years and have, in fact, come to embrace them as part of any normal relationship. In a twisted sort of way, I wouldn’t know what to do if it was any different.

Holden_Caulfield's avatar

Very simple for me… Mixed signals.

ETpro's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Exactly. My wife isn’t, as @SeventhSense thought she might be, the perfect mate. Far from it. But I don’t really have a gender identy either. I’m a human. All the foibles listed for both men and women are human foibles. Even shopping. I know guys who can drive me to distraction spending time pouring over clothing choices in a mall, only to decide they don’t really need any clothes anyway. Sure, some of the foibles listed can annoy me, but I just don’t attach a particular gender to them. And I really, REALLY do like females. :-)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@ETpro yes I like human…sometimes (well, all the time) when I consider these things and I consider what I really feel like…all I keep coming up with is ‘I’m me, just me, just this person’...

ETpro's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I certainly hope that JeanPaule-Sartre isn’t the jealous type. I do believe I want you in my Fluther. :-)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@ETpro he isn’t – we’re in an open relationship…i can fluther other people, ya know?

ETpro's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Consider yourself Fluthered.

Scooby's avatar

@IBERnineD

Lol.. If you are going to set your sights on older men, if I may, a little word of advice! Leave the mobile phone at home or at the very least turned off in your purse/handbag whatever, as this is one thing that really bugs us with younger women today, the constant minute by minute updates you feel your friends must have :-/
kinda kills the mood, for me it does anyway! ;-)

Sophief's avatar

@Scooby I just love older men, there is nothing better than feeling a real man inside me, rather than a stupid little boy.

Scooby's avatar

@Dibley

Good for you, I love a woman who knows what she likes, just remember about that phone! ;-)

Sophief's avatar

@Scooby When I’m with him, last thing I am bothered about is my phone. Anyway, maybe it’s not a large age gap, I don’t know. What is your situation?

Scooby's avatar

@Dibley

Best to keep the thing turned off anyway, Me I’m divorced now but married to my job, I don’t have time for shenanigans these days, just trying to top the pension up that’s all I’m doing at the moment!! :-/

Sophief's avatar

@Scooby Well, I hope something good happens for you.

Scooby's avatar

@Dibley

Thanks , I’ve wasted too many hours chasing dreams :-/
I have one goal & can wait another few years for that ;-)
Then That’s me retired! Ah bliss……… :-)

Sophief's avatar

@Scooby But don’t you want someone to share that with?

TheJoker's avatar

@Dibley…. Well I was scrolling down trying to decide what to wrote…. then I read ur comment to Scooby & it put me totally off, hehe!

Sophief's avatar

@TheJoker But it’s true, there is nothing wrong in wanting a man. Maybe when I get older then I might want a boy, but I really hope not. Young lads these days are all scrawny and just urgh no thanks. Nothing like feeling a proper man.

TheJoker's avatar

@Dibley…. Hehehe, I’m all for that, it was more the way you said it that distracted me :)

Sophief's avatar

@TheJoker Ok, before my message, what was going to be your answer?

IBERnineD's avatar

@Scooby I find it completely pbnoxious when people text on their dates. Even worse is when people keep their blue-tooths on!

TheJoker's avatar

@Dibley… In reality there’s not much, although, when women take total ownership over child/baby/pregnancy, the, it’s my body & therefore my decision thing, like no-one else is affected…

Sophief's avatar

@TheJoker Yes i can understand that, some women are like that, they don’t realise it takes two to make it in the first place.

TheJoker's avatar

@Dibley…. Quite right, whether it’s a good thing or bad, both sides should be allowed to express their feelings. In addition to what you know, my best friend has a son from an accidental pregnancy when he was a teen. While he pays the CSA & always has, & technically he has visitation rights, the mothers family wont actually lt him see his son. He’s never been allowed to visit under threats of violence from the womans father, who basically hated him from day1.

Sophief's avatar

@TheJoker Speaking as a woman, I find it so unfair that we get the upper hand on most situations, i.e divorce, children e.t.c. Men don’t have it easy, in those situations anyway.

TheJoker's avatar

@Dibley…. but then I suppose we get it easy in so many other aspects of life. & I do strongly believe in a womans right to choose, the final decision should always be hers.

SeventhSense's avatar

@onesecondregrets
There’s guys and then there’s assholes. Those guys sound like complete tools.
I’d smack those guys just because they’re an embarrassment to my gender.

Scooby's avatar

@Dibley

Nope!! Been let down too many times by women, there maybe a few acquaintances but nothing more….. :-/
I might get a little dog Lol… ;-)

Scooby's avatar

@IBERnineD

YEY!! Good for you, I wish there were more like you, there’s nothing worse than sitting down to dinner with music blaring out of my dates phone, although it has been said, Could I ask my daughter to switch off her phone :-/
I don’t know which is worse….. :-/
It seems like phones are a permanent attachment these days, as if grafted to the hand…. BTW Blue Tooths???

IBERnineD's avatar

@Scooby Yes! Bluetooths! I have never heard anyone say blueteeth, have you?

odali's avatar

@Dibley I agree with this, my ex girlfriend felt the same way, it’s complete bull that women get the upper hand in these situations – even if they are addicted to drugs, spend all their money on them, and treat their family like absolute crap, the women will most of the time still get custody, even if the man takes amazing care of his children and is a good provider for them. Completely unfair. But I guess that’s not really something that annoys me about the opposite sex so much as the government..

zebter's avatar

Interesting. I am learning a lot about you by reading your responses.

SeventhSense's avatar

@zebter
And what will you disclose? :oP

zebter's avatar

well when I want to spend time with my man. I would prefer him not to hog the remote and pick something boring. He constantly flips through all the channels and changes things after I get into a show. Its annoying so I have gotten to the point where I just do not care because I figure he will just change it. I just do not see why we can’t just find a happy medium and stick to it when finding something to watch together when we spend time with one another.

@NaturalMineralWater he is the one I am learning about.

SeventhSense's avatar

@zebter
Oh you can never trust a man with remote. We’re like kids.
We just like to play with the buttons.

Aethelwine's avatar

@SeventhSense You men also like to push our buttons too. ;)

SeventhSense's avatar

@jonsblond
Sometimes that can be a good thing…if it’s the right button. :)

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