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J0E's avatar

Are you wasting your time on someone?

Asked by J0E (13136points) February 8th, 2010

I was doing one of those internet quiz things the other day and the question “Are you wasting your time on someone?” popped up, not really thinking about it too much I responded with “No one is a waste of time.” That question has been stuck in my head ever since, and I don’t like my response.

I think there are people I have wasted time on. What about you?

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25 Answers

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

If you don’t expect anything from them,it’s not wasted…that was easy to say….;)

Sophief's avatar

Yes I have wasted time on some people, and they have wasted their time on me. It’s just life.

phoebusg's avatar

I think it can feel that way. If you attach yourself to one possibility, dream about it, not be able to see any other tangents into the future – then you may be wasting your “time”. But only in the sense that you’re not fully experiencing the now, this person is not all there is – you may be extremely attached to that person. And that extreme attachment is the problem. One solution is partial-attachment. This is but a possibility, maybe a “strong” one, but still just that. Experience the now, where you are – those around. There are many tangent lines going into the future, any one of them could be true. In any other case, time spent with another human being is not wasted. All our life is about is human relationships – so you’re making better use of your time already ;)

TheJoker's avatar

Yep, I wasted a decade on someone for decent, but the wrong reasons.

bean's avatar

yes and i’m sure when they had me they had it too good…. I think thats why they stayed for so long…. good riddens, i finally have some one new that treats me extremely different and it’s so new to me I don’t believe it’s real. They are worth it.

Merriment's avatar

Despite having spent loads of time on certain types of people in my lifetime I still don’t think that time was wasted.

Every minute I spent on those people (ie:sucking vortexs/black hole people) taught me something invaluable about myself.

Now if I were to measure the impact of all of my time on those people…I’d be screaming in frustration…:)

trailsillustrated's avatar

i don’t think time is ever wasted ( maybe standing in line or something) but on someone, no. you always learn

Facade's avatar

No, I don’t think so

UScitizen's avatar

Yes! The bastard in the next cube won’t leave me alone. He is incompetent and constantly trying to get me to do his job for him.

wundayatta's avatar

Like @trailsillustrated, I don’t believe you can waste time. You get something out of everything you do, even if it is standing in line. At the same time, I can get angry when I spend a lot of time investing in someone, only to find they were jerking me around. I could think of it as wasted time, but I also learned something about how to identify such people.

Although, in all honesty, I have to say I suspected this and decided to risk it anyway. In which case, my anger is directed at myself for following my wishes instead of my analysis.

life_after_2012's avatar

Yep!! sure have and vica versa.

shadling21's avatar

I’m not now, but I have in the past. Oh, well. C’est la vie.

mcbealer's avatar


I think our lives are all interconnected, and just try my best to make each moment count. Sometimes I have hung on to friendships and relationships far longer than is healthy for me, but I will not blame someone else for my choices. Sometimes it’s better to be sure than to have regrets down the road. Once I cut somebody out of my life though, it’s a done deal.

tamkli3's avatar

time isn’t really wasted on anybody… i mean, it could feel like it… and i know this’ll sound cheesy but, we do learn from our mistakes… So even if you took too much time on somebody that time, you at least know not to do it next time…

Dr_C's avatar

Every time I post a response on Q’s along the lines of “why are we letting immigrants in to the country tey steal our money blah blah blah” I believe i’s a colossal waste of time…. yet I still do it.

LeotCol's avatar

I have wasted time on people before unfortunately. But luckily now I believe I can spot them a mile away and so now I only waste time on the internet.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

Frequently I think I’m wasting time on myself.

Trillian's avatar

Not anymore I’m not. I think that the time, effort, money, and emotion that I expended was a colossal waste. That being said, perhaps as @wundayatta writes, it isn’t a total loss as I certainly won’t be doing that again, and I’ve discerned/gleaned information and resolution on how I am moving forward with my own life and what I’ll accept and what I will not. I’ve also resolved to stay alone rather than compromise what I can live with again.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I have certainly wasted time on people – I tend to be the person to not usually completely break off all contact.

Trillian's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir , Why do we do that?

partyparty's avatar

No I wouldn’t say I have wasted my time on someone.
Perhaps things haven’t worked out with them the way I would have wanted, but everything I have done has been a learning curve.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Trillian I can only tell you why I do it – and I do it because you never know when either you or they will die, life is too short to waste on drama and mind-games and certain connections (ever if they’re still painful) are still dear to me to maintain.

Just_Justine's avatar

yes, I think I am, well have done on the last two people I wasted time on. Has to be a reason though, that I did that.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

I’ve spent three years in a relationship that (I’m afraid) is going to end pretty soon. Not a minute of it has been a waste. I’d do it again in a heartbeat, even if I knew the same ending would happen.

Which is not to say that I can’t waste time on someone that I don’t care about… but I generally don’t do that.

jeanna_'s avatar

At the moment I’m not, but I certainly have in the past. Mostly I end up wasting my time on things rather than people.

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