General Question

troubleinharlem's avatar

How do you balance your hopes and dreams against reality and its disappointments?

Asked by troubleinharlem (7978points) February 9th, 2010 from iPhone

Pretty straightforward.

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23 Answers

drhat77's avatar

Seriously hope is a socio-genetic construct designed to keep the “pack” following the leader even when things aren’t going so well. I personally keep no stock in it.

but should you find yourself in the same boat as pretty much everyone else on the planet (or as i pejoratively refer to as “the hopeful”), remind yourself that every major project has setbacks, and you should expect no less from your dreams (a major project, I am assuming). try to keep a big picture view on things.

naivete's avatar

(Keep on dreaming..)

Your_Majesty's avatar

Work as hard as possible to make it comes true. Or try to forget it and find other much more interesting subject.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Seriously? I learned something very important from a line John Cleese says in this sketch, but it’s the way to get through all the bumps in life’s road: Adopt (meaning accept), adapt and improve!

Accept your disappointment, adapt to it by altering your goal, either a little or a lot, and improve by applying the changes you made to your goals. At least that how I think of it.

John’s the tall one with the gun, BTW.

drhat77's avatar

@aprilsimnel is it really getting to the point where we have to tell the youngin’s who the monty python actors are? I’m getting old.

naivete's avatar

…. This was previously important.

SuperMouse's avatar

I try to keep moving forward. If need be I adapt my hopes and dreams to the reality of my situation. There are certain goals I have for myself that I am not willing to let go and I will keep working toward them until I achieve them or until the very end. I have come to accept that odds are against me winning an Oscar for best adapted screenplay (based on my own Great American Novel of course), but I keep my acceptance speech folded up in the back of a drawer just in case.

aprilsimnel's avatar

And so are they, @drhat77. So are they.

rovdog's avatar

I try not to think about it much. There was a time when I did and it was much harder to work towards my goals then. You want to aim for something I think but not be paralyzed by getting to one specific place. I think it was Thoreau who compared life to sailing, saying that on the way we must be willing to tack and change with the wind to reach our destination. I think one should have high expectations but for everything that is within your means to realize. It’s a difficult problem still- how do reach our greatest potential if we don’t aim as high as we possibly can? I think you can do that, but it takes a lot of bravery, and you have to be willing to fail. A lot. Probably the most adaptive thing an ambitious person can do is get really comfortable with failure. Make it your friend. It’s easier said than done, but the more you fail, the more tolerable it becomes, and probably more you start to succeed.

bean's avatar

um…. let see…
I guess I keep my dreams pretty realistic and not hope for much but keep relaxed and see where life takes me :)

YARNLADY's avatar

You don’t. Just keep expecting the best, and ignore the rest.

Judi's avatar

I’m older than a lot of you here, so I can reflect and realize that life may have not always come to me as I had planned, but that which HAS come to me is better than I expected.
That is not to say that I haven’t had disappointments. I have dealt with tragic death, heart ache, traumatic adolescent children and a slew of other things that I would never wish on anyone.
I also know, that I have been given SO much more than I ever expected. I have traveled to places that I may have dreamed about, but never would have thought I could go to. I don’t only appreciate Art, I own it. Who’d a thunk I would even own an airplane
I also, have a sort of a mission. Since I know and understand poverty, but now live pretty well, I have a responsibility to remind people who don’t know what it’s like to go to bed hungry, or to choose between homelessness or crappy childcare for your kids, what it’s like in the “real” world..
When pompous people talk about healthcare reform as if it is a privilege for those who have it through their employer, it is my job to get in their face and say, “TODAY PEOPLE ARE DIEING!”
If it weren’t for the heartache and disappointment in my life, I don’t know if I would have the courage or the empathy to stand up to the ignorance of wealth.
For all John Edwards faults, he did have one thing right. There ARE two Americas, and I have lived in both. Many wealthy (and even middle class) people go their whole life and never have a clue what people in their own city go through.

Christian95's avatar

It’s simple I don’t
I dream very much and I mostly live in my own world instead of trying to understand this world(people in this world that the world itself)

Berserker's avatar

Hope for the best, while preparing for the worse.

talljasperman's avatar

By detaching myself off from reality with lots of TV. and sleeping… crying helps too… Or you could see the positive in situations…like if you failed a school then you could say “glad I realized that I’m bad at math or whatever before it was too late”... Imagine what would happen if we didn’t know the truth about our abilities…. we would find out the hard way and the world would be worse off than failing at an age when you can accept failure….Imagine finding out your bad at something when the world is coming to an end if your skills don’t work…It is good to know these things in advance so that we don’t hurt ourselves and others…in a royal mess up

9doomedtodie's avatar

Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real.

9doomedtodie's avatar

Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.

onesecondregrets's avatar

You know, I don’t. And that might explain my current life position. I give into reality and disappointments and furthermore, escape from. I keep my hope, I do. I never had it before so I consider myself a little bit ahead..even if I appear to always be pessimistic for myself (I’m entirely optimistic for everyone else) I’ll get to where I’m going, I’ll find the things I want..or I keep that “hope.” The hope, instead of completely hating life like I usually do- gives “something to live for.” I guess the balancing of the two in my life, is the waivering back and forth between the two, if that makes sense.

12_func_multi_tool's avatar

I go into three possibilities when talking to myself about things like that, as in: Ideally, hopefully, and in reality.

belakyre's avatar

“Hope for the best and expect the worst.”

Killer's avatar

“Anything you dream, by the very nature that you can dream it, makes it possible.”
“You can make things happen that you never thought you could!”
“You have everything you need to be so much…don’t settle for less!”
(Leo Buscaglia)
From the day I start believing in above mentioned quotes, things are happening for me. Sometimes it’s like a miracle. Just unbelievable!

phoebusg's avatar

Dreams, wants and desires are often quite specific. They are like tangent lines, the point of future starts from now and spreads out in a million possible directions. It is unlikely that it will follow exactly what you want it to follow. But, it can be very likely to follow the direction that you want.

Simple put, when you think about the future – do dream, and hope – with the knowledge that none of those things may happen. But do – do what you can to walk yourself in that direction.

Another thought is that people often associate success only with a specific tangent line. But if you’re moving in the direction of your destination – isn’t every step a success? Enjoy your life now, as well as your journey – and if the destination comes – that too.

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