Social Question

tytyslim's avatar

How can an average gay man find love?

Asked by tytyslim (65points) February 15th, 2010

Is finding a potential partner for the average gay man like finding a unicorn? If I don’t look like a model, or act like Vin Diesel is all hope lost for me?

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12 Answers

ArtiqueFox's avatar

Have you tried online dating sites targeted at your particular group?

judochop's avatar

I don’t know where you live but here in Portland, finding a man is not what I would call a problem. I see all types of gay men around town and not to many of them look like Vin Diesel. I’m straight but I am sure as hell gonna look at Vin Diesel if he is walking down the street.

davidbetterman's avatar

Go to the library…

jrpowell's avatar

It is rough. You are eliminating a large chunk of the population right off the bat. I would try gay bars. But don’t fret. I know lots of gay men that are in awesome relationships. It is just a little harder to find them. But you will.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I happen to be gay, too, and I’m in the same boat you are.

I would suggest getting involved in local groups that interest you. You might meet someone there who would be interesting.

Don’t rule out the online sites. I had a fun relationship with a man I met on Manhunt, and I’m currently getting to know someone I met through Craigslist. I put ads on both that were not your run-of-the-mill sex ads. Mine were obviously geared toward LTR.

Still, I haven’t found my knight in shining armor.

Arisztid's avatar

I remember in California that a lot of colleges had groups for gay and lesbian people. From what I heard of them they were support groups/social groups and not limited to students of the college.

Again from California, there were gay/lesbian bookstores where people would congregate and various activities came out of them.

I am not talking places like San Francisco either… I was living in Sacramento when I knew of these things. Maybe there are such things in your town?

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

I would try online dating…but at a quality site.

If you are looking for a relationship with meaning that isn’t based on material stuff or how you look….I would defintely go to and/or

At the very least, you may meet someone who knows a wider group of interesting thoughtful gay men (hopefully) who know other….interesting thoughtful gay men…and one might be just the one that sparks an interest.

And please, please….don’t ever give up hope…it just takes a bit of effort and to be open to meeting people….and internet dating really has worked for a lot of my friends.

Best of luck.

tytyslim's avatar

Thank u all for your great suggestions. I really appreciate them all! For those of you who have suggested online dating I am a member of…what a joke!

I will try to stay hopeful

rastaman's avatar

I second the recommendation to join I met my beloved on Spiritual Singles (I’m gay too). It’s way more conscious then! They even have a sexual compatibility test that will show how compatible you are sexually with other members (and a regular compat test too). The caliber of member is very high and most members are looking for a LTR or marriage. It’s not a booty call site. Check it out.
Good luck!

Arisztid's avatar

@tytyslim I do not know how old you are but do not give up hope. :)

Be yourself because if you get a guy based on a facade, well, you cannot maintain it forever. You want a guy to love you for you.

I keep forgetting about online dating because I am old from the time before online dating.

Pandora's avatar

I don’t think its not just a gay problem. There are many people without partners, because they can’t find love either. It may be easy for some to find a date, but dating is no guarantee of love. However it does increase ones chances. LOL
Good luck!

xStarlightx's avatar

I’m not gay, but my best friend is. I believe it is way to hard to find a decent gay man in this world because most of them have SUCH high standards. I guess the only advice I would give is to never settle for less, you could always try online dating (I know it sounds stupid) but you might just happen to find someone you share some things in common with and who knows where it might end up.

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