Social Question

tytyslim's avatar

Can we really be friends?

Asked by tytyslim (65points) February 22nd, 2010

I am a 30 yr old out going gay man who loves meeting new people, and having diverse friendships. Although, recently I’ve noticed that my friendships aren’t as diversified as I once thought. I’ve come to realize my friendships are mainly with females and other gay men. While I cherish the friendships I have, I started to wonder why I don’t have any straight male friends? and would it even be a possibilty to obtain? After discussing it over with my friends I was told “if I didn’t grow up with one forget about it!” ,or ” very few str8 guys are comfortable with that”. It bothers me to think it can’t happen because I’m a cool guy ( if I say so myself) .I decided to ask the community, ” Can a gay man and a straight man be true friends?”

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23 Answers

susanc's avatar

You just have to be really gentle with them. They scare easy. Ask any woman.

AstroChuck's avatar

Sure. I’ll be your friend.
Just never cross me.

ArtiqueFox's avatar

Sounds like an oxymoron on me.

The soap operas of gay men falling for straight friends have ruined your chances.

Blackberry's avatar

I’m sure they can, but the general populace of people are pretty close minded.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

I don’t see why not.
This question reminds me of a song by War, and to a much much much lesser extent, a poor cover by Smashmouth.
damn them

AstroChuck's avatar

@tytyslim- Since we’re now friends, can I borrow a couple hundred?

frigate1985's avatar

Well, I think anyone can be friends but I am with susanc and Blackberry too :)

Cruiser's avatar

Yes…I had gay frat brothers and ultimately gay friends who came out later on…buried a couple of them too. At least a gay man is certain about one thing in their life…an enviable trait.

Cruiser's avatar

@susanc Yes and it really helps that a gay man doesn’t go Jekyl and Hyde one week out of every month!

jackm's avatar

One of my best friends is gay and I am straight. So yes it is certainly possible.

susanc's avatar

@Cruiser – wait, what’s the enviable trait? I mean, what’s the certain thing in a gay man’s life? I’m confused

Alleycat8782's avatar

Yes I believe it could happen and I know a few straight and gay guys who are friends. Find straight guys that have the same interests as you, such as: tv shows, movies, going out to eat, bowling, watching sports, or maybe even going to amusement parks.

iphigeneia's avatar

Of course it’s possible. I know straight guys and gay guys who have great friendships.

lostinyoureyes's avatar

I think there are some easy-going, upstanding, kind and open-minded straight guys out there. Those are the ones you want to be friends with. So it’s possible but you have to find the good ones. I’m just a straight girl though, so that’s only my opinion :) Those are the type of guys I would want to be friends with too.

augustlan's avatar

My husband is super old-school… a real “man’s man” (think John Wayne). Two of his best friends are a gay (male) couple. No issues whatsoever.

susanc's avatar

I like this question.
Sure we all mostly think this should be possible, normal, obvious, easy, common.
But I’m really liking examples and stories of what is happening. Not advice, but proofs.

wundayatta's avatar

My best friend and my second best friend from the time I was 18 to the time I was 51 are both gay. I met them in college, though. I don’t know if I could make a new gay friend now, but then, I don’t know if I could make any new friend now. If I did make a new male friend, I think it would be very likely he was gay.

augustlan's avatar

I wonder if this could be a regional thing. Here in West Virginia, it’s not terribly common (my husband is an uncommon man), but in a more metropolitan area I bet it would be much less of a problem.

hug_of_war's avatar

My dad who is a non-liberal christian roomed and was very close friends with a gay man in the late 70s/early 80s so yeah I say it’s possible. But I also know my dad wouldn’t be interested in being friends with a feminine man, so take that as you will

Jeruba's avatar

@susanc, I think @Cruiser meant that the enviable trait is having one thing in your life that you’re certain about.

Rarebear's avatar

Two of my best friends are gay. I’m straight. We tease each other all the time.

thriftymaid's avatar

Sure, it’s possible.

TheJoker's avatar

Absolutely… I haven’t had many gay friends over the years, at least that I’ve known of, however, they were great people who I enjoyed spending time with, & having some off-the-wall banter with.

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