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Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

How much are you motivated by people telling you what you can or can't do?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26798points) March 3rd, 2010

How much are you motivated to do something (or stop doing something) because someone else told you “You can’t do that’ or “you will never stop doing it” be it a habit or a job you don’t care for or am event, sport, activity you want to do. Are you more incline to do it because someone tries to tell you that you can’t and you want to show no one tells you what to do or to prove them wrong?

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25 Answers

Sophief's avatar

Well, in real life I do as I am told. I have always been like it, even as a child. Though my partner is very different there, you tell him to do something and he won’t and vice versa, just to say that he will do what he wants as it is his life.

JeffVader's avatar

I’m not affected either way. I’ve learnt that no matter how much or how little work I put into something I’ll always scrape through, at least. Also, regardless of what the outcome is, there’s never any praise or reprimand… Additionally I have real isues with authority, if someone ‘tells’ me to do or not do something, you can guarantee I’ll ignor them.

Sophief's avatar

@Cloverfield My boyfriend is exactly the same, at work if someone tells him, he just won’t do it.

JeffVader's avatar

@Dibley Haha, I guess I’m lucky that there is no-one in the building who can boss me around…. my manager works in a different office in another town, so its just me :)

Sophief's avatar

@Cloverfield He was told to go to meetings with other legal firms in town once a month, he has never been to one yet.

JeffVader's avatar

@Dibley Hah, I bet they love him for that… I guess I’m also lucky in that my manager never ‘tells’ me, even when she is about. She does everything softly, softly.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Cloverfield I take it you were never a military person or in school athletics LOL LOL LOL

Sophief's avatar

@Cloverfield No not much. They give up telling him. He does his own thing and they know that. They had a new partner there and I think even she has given up now.

JeffVader's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Hahahahaha, how could you tell? Nah, the closest I ever got was being in Rugby teams… & thats just organised chaos!

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Cloverfield So what is it about taking orders from someone you find so repugnant? The way they say it? Because you want to retain some control or don’t want to be controlled, what is it that makes you balk at taking orders? :-)

Your_Majesty's avatar

I’m Independent. So,I don’t need other people’s opinion since I know myself so well and I know the best I can do. No one can judge me.

JeffVader's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central I can tell you exactly where it comes from. My dad. He is & always has been convinced of our families… uniqueness or specialness. He quite simply taught us that no-one had the right to tell us anything as they couldn’t possibly match up to us. He was & is a deeply flawed man with many, many odd ideas… fortunately I realised there is nothing special about us.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I do things because I want to,not because someone tells me I can or can’t.

MacBean's avatar

If someone tells me to do something, most of the time I won’t, even if I wanted to or planned to originally. If someone asks me to do something, I will, as long as I’m capable. If someone tells me I can’t do something because I’m not allowed to, I probably will. If someone tells me I can’t do something because they think I’m not capable, I’ll probably believe them and get depressed.

Cruiser's avatar

I admit I am more inclined to not do something if someone “tells” me to do something. I do plenty throughout my day and if anyone is rude enough to “tell” me to do anything they are rubbing me the wrong way. Ask me and I will gladly do it…tell me to do anything and you get a pie in the face.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I inherited a major stubborn streak from my grandmother. If someone tells me to do something or stop doing something that I want to do or not do, it drives me that much harder. As she used to say, I’m not stubborn, just give me what I want.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

As a child, an authority figure telling me do do something “just because I say so” was reason enough for me to do the exact opposite. 29 years in the Army reformed me of this, but not of my intense resentment of those who abuse the privileges of rank simply because they can.

J0E's avatar

I’m not as crazy as John Locke, yelling “don’t tell me what I can’t do!” every chance I get. But it is definitely a motivating factor.

Facade's avatar

I’m just very likely to get pissed at them.

arnbev959's avatar

I’ve never really cared about “proving people wrong.” If someone tells me I’m incapable of doing something that I have no interest in doing, I’m still not going to try.

I’ve grown up in a household where if someone does something that irritates me, like whistling when I’m trying to read the newspaper, and I ask that person politely not to do it, they usually do it more out of spite once they know it bothers me. I try not to be like that. If someone asks me to do something sincerely I will usually acquiesce.

Also, like @MacBean, theres something about someone asking me or telling me to do something that I would have done anyway that bothers me. But usually if I had planned on doing it, someone telling me to do it is annoying, but not reason to change my course of action.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I never thought about it until the last year or so, but I discovered that I gave other people’s opinions of what I could or couldn’t do more credence than my own opinion or knowledge of the matter. Horribly obedient and people-pleasing. I didn’t catch on that it wasn’t working when I started this habit as a kid and it doesn’t work now. You lose a lot of self-respect if you give in to others so easily, and then you feel sad and you don’t know why. It’s as if you don’t thnk for yourself.

That doesn’t work, does it? Like anything else, it’s balance. 98% you and 2% others in this case, I think.

Bluefreedom's avatar

I really don’t experience this too often but if someone does decide to attempt to challenge me on something, it’s my will against theirs and I usually win. I’m just good like that.

Arisztid's avatar

I am not motivated or demotivated by such statements. I consider just a blanket statement like that to be rude and I discard it. I am not going to bother trying to prove anything to someone who is rude.

If someone has constructive criticism that I can use to evaluate and improve my performance, I will listen to them. However, a blanket statement of “you can’t do that” goes ignored by me. For me to pay it any attention, they have to state why they believe this in a logical manner. At that time I shall evaluate their statement.

plethora's avatar

Not at all

Frivargas's avatar

For me it depends on what i am being motivated to do and by who.

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