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mysweetdrream182's avatar

What kind of behavior classifies a person as being passive aggressive?

Asked by mysweetdrream182 (84points) March 21st, 2010

I have a friend who seems like they do not want to share anything about themselves with me. I had asked her why has she been reserved lately, she answers ‘I have always been like this’. But that cannot be so, as I have known her for 6 years now. She later mentioned that she shares and talks more with her boyfriend. And I have noticed her behavior change progressively. I have been more upfront about the way I feel than she has. I do feel she is being a little passive. I am not quite sure. She has been rude in different ways lately, and she gives off a sense of prideful behavior around me as well. I just need to know what qualifies as passive aggressive?

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7 Answers

Lightning's avatar

Passive aggressive behavior is a chicken’s way of rebelling. Her opinion of you on something has changed. She’s just to bitchy or cowardly to come out and say it.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Sometimes a friend who is always there, can be there way too much. Back off. Disappear for a while. If she is really your friend, and I’m sure she is, then she will approach you on her terms.

Get in her face, and watch her run.

Women hate whining men.

Never mention this to her again. Just enjoy her life for her sake, and not for yours.

mysweetdrream182's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies I am a girl and she is my best girlfriend. I do not see her for a month, and sometimes 2 -3 weeks. So there is a large gap of time before we see each other. I need to know. since she refuses to tell me, what the problem is. So I don’t have to waste my time around her anymore. I feel like she might be a passive aggressive because its messing with my head.

I’m never in her face about anything really. I just stand there until she wants to tell me something, and our conversations have now turned into a deafening silence. Which is why I head to say something.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Get a hobby without her involvement. I really mean it. Just back off and pursue your own path. Friends will come and go. Get used to it. Your validity as a person should not be dependent upon the reactions of others. Stop letting this “mess with your head”.

Time for you to leave her be, to pursue her own path without you. Yes it’s sad. But growth is often accompanied with growing pains. Don’t make it any more painful than it has to be.

You will be a better and stronger person in the end. And when things do turn bad with her SO… and they will, then exhibit the friendship that only a true friend can. You will be better equipped to do this having pursued your own path, making your life yours. Hers, your friends, may be destroyed one day. It’s nice to have a true, old friend, to take you in from the cold. You won’t be able to do that unless you build your own life… and gladly let her have her own too… with or without you.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

You’re looking for a label to explain your friend’s changing behaviour towards you.

That is the wrong approach.

You have been offered some good advice that did not define passive-aggressive behaviour well and I won’t bother defining it here because it is not the answer to your

mattbrowne's avatar

Enjoying ignoring other people.

cazzie's avatar

Passive aggression usually starts out with the person saying something they don’t really mean. When you ask them what’s wrong, they’ll say.. ‘Nothing’ but it will be obvious something is wrong and their denial of it is intended to stir you up. It’s a hard thing to define, because their intention to stir you up has to be there…. and not just because they don’t want to talk about it, sincerely.

Maybe she’s just not that sharing type of person, but it sounds like she may want to open up eventually. If you don’t think she is intentionally trying to hurt you with her withdrawing nature, then it’s not being passive aggressive.

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