General Question

bright_eyes00's avatar

Why have I been so aggressive lately?

Asked by bright_eyes00 (1343points) March 24th, 2010

I don’t understand but for a long while I have been actually wanting to get into a fight. To start one or to be involved in one. I’m not sure what action or event in my life triggered this but I just can’t seem to stop thinking about it. I watched Fight Club last night, thinking it might ease my desire to have a physical altercation but it didnt. I box and when I do, I’m not quite as eager to argue or snap but I want to understand why I’m this way at all. I have always been the kind of person who couldn’t stand hurting others or even confrontational arguments. This is so out of nowhere.

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23 Answers

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

What’s making you so mad?

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Depression, hormonal, bottled-up anger????

Judi's avatar

To much testosterone?

bright_eyes00's avatar

@Captain_Fantasy It seems like everything. Road rage. People acting incompetent. I feel like I have no patience either. I would say “that time of the month” but its been a couple of months.

mrrich724's avatar

go to the gym.

have you been belittled lately? Do you think you may feel like you have something to prove for some reason?

bright_eyes00's avatar

@mrrich724 I normally run when I get upset but my knees are shot so I have been placed on a profile (I’m military) so I’m not allowed to run. So I do the boxing, weight lifting, exercise machine thing and it doesnt seem to work.

This really bothers me and I hate being this way. I don’t know what to do really. If I address it with someone in the military, they will suggest meds and I refuse to take medication for something like a temporary anger problem. I just wish I knew why I was angry.

Jewel's avatar

It sounds like an hormone imbalance. Check with your doctor. It may be easily corrected.

msbauer's avatar

ok i’m going to need you to look at one of your hands…how short is your index finger as compared to your ring finger? almost the same or a good centimeter or more difference? well if you said they are quite different in length, i second Judi’s assessment of your high testosterone levels…that is, if you’re male.

studies have found “a connection between finger lengths and the amount of testosterone that a fetus was exposed to in the womb: the shorter the index finger relative to the ring finger, the higher the amount of prenatal testosterone.” however, they found no such effects for females…are you perhaps morphing into a male whilst either your ring finger grows and/or index finger shrinks?


bright_eyes00's avatar

@msbauer well considering i am female i’m not sure how much that applies but my ring/index fingers are the same length.

zophu's avatar

Sometimes you have to hurt someone’s face. Sometimes you have to take a few punches to your face. It’s human compulsion, deal with it. If you got a good friend you trust, start a fight. Best bonding experience between men. Even if he’s out of your league, just make sure you both get equally damaged by the end.

If it’s more than just basic aggression you’re feeling, if you’ve got a little psycho in you, suppress it. There’s a difference between wanted to fight a dude, and wanting blood. Don’t let the line get blurry.

But yeah, if you’re generally level headed, go fuck someone up a little; and get fucked up a little. Can’t go through adolescence without that (I assume your a teenager.) You’ll be missing out. . . try not to get seriously hurt or seriously hurt someone else. You’ve got to be level headed, and your buddy needs to have a level head as well.

Edit: you’re not a teen? The military? Well, fuck my advice I thought you were just discovering your aggressive side or something. I don’t know what to say.

bright_eyes00's avatar

@zophu Thanks for the laugh.

msbauer's avatar

@bright_eyes00 i know, i’m sorry. i kinda was being obnoxious. i don’t know much about the physiology of aggression, but i have heard that the supposed cathartic power of punching a pillow when you’re angry (or a punching bag, in your case) actually only serves to fuel your anger/aggression and get you pumped up.

instead, you’re supposed to try to relax. i’d prescribe you trying to elicit the “relaxation response” (studied thoroughly by Herbert Benson) through breathing exercises. this is a body state in which you’re calm and relaxed, and it can be achieved through controlled breathing. see this page for an example of how to achieve it:

liminal's avatar

Sometimes is can be sexual frustration.

zophu's avatar


nah, breaking stuff helps—period. I’ll meditate on a pile of broken dishes or something afterwards maybe.

bright_eyes00's avatar

@zophu if i had the money to replace my expensive things i would definitely have broken something by now

@liminal that could be a considerable factor that i have not yet taken into account.

@msbauer definite food for thought. i appreciate your advice.

Twibbly's avatar

Some times it can do to lack of sleep and ect.

tb1570's avatar

I second what @liminal said. Lack of “sugar” always sends me over the top.

cazzie's avatar

Yeah… change in diet, perhaps? Our hormones change all the time as we age, so while being lunar, they’re also linear changes with age. Are you sweating and not sleeping well, is your hair falling out more than usual? Perhaps you should have your thyroid checked (it’s a butterfly shaped gland that lies under your adams apple). Excess thyroid hormone can make you feel very irritable (ask me how I know..) as can problems with your adrenal glands. Adrenal glands are sort of tucked in next to your kidneys.

First thing I noticed with my thyroid problem was I couldn’t tolerate heat, sweated a lot, and my hands shook a bit. I thought it was stress and didn’t see a doctor for AGES. It got really bad and I felt silly when I realised all I needed was a simple blood test.

Good luck, and I hope you feel better soon.

thriftymaid's avatar

Are you sure it’s just lately?

bright_eyes00's avatar

@thriftymaid yeah it’s been probably since the end of january. never really was like this before.

@cazzie I will have to get my thyroid checked just to be sure.

liminal's avatar

@bright_eyes00 did anything about your life change in January?

bright_eyes00's avatar

@liminal I got my own apartment. Other than that, no. Getting my own place has been the best thing i ever did. I had three roommates all last year and i went nuts with cleaning up after them and drama with money for bills so when the lease was coming up to renew or not i bailed.

erikaerika's avatar

it could be what you’re eating or maybe not enough sleep? hmm…smoke a blunt to the face & i bet you’ll feel better :)

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