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Just_Justine's avatar

Is there a stopwatch set to finding love?

Asked by Just_Justine (6486points) March 28th, 2010

I remember spending many hours at the aged home where my mom was and seeing couples falling in love. It was so amazing. Some even got married. Some had cat fights over certain men. I was delighted to be honest. As many people call aged homes “Gods waiting room”. So to me it was great to see this.
But in a way aged homes are a society unto themselves.

I have been pushing love away for so long now, I won’t even say. But suddenly I want to love and be loved. Is there a time limit on it? A lot will say of course not, but if so can you site an example? I have limited myself really as all my colleagues are married or too young, my clients are all married and not my type. So my day revolves around the same people. I don’t “do” bars, I love coffee shops and walks, and I hate clubs. I must admit I don’t go out much any more. Apart from when I have too. Here as well we have a small population in terms of desirable partners. Many say love will find you, but how if I am always at home. I do have a part time boyfriend but that is another confusion in itself. I would love some great stories of people falling in love after 40 to give me hope!!

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31 Answers

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

There was a nice story in Country magazine, came out yesterday, about two 60 plusers that found each other after they lost their partners. They found each other, fell in love, married and started an alpacca farm.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I know. that’s pretty corny, but kind of in a cute manner.

whatthefluther's avatar

I married @sccrowell on June 19th last year after proposing to her right here on fluther. I am 55 years old. We celebrated her birthday Friday. I’m pretty sure she turned 29 again. Whatever the hell the number is, she looks great and is very beautiful.
Never give up on finding love, but do get yourself out there a bit more. You’ll find it, unless it finds you first.
See ya…..Gary/wtf

Coloma's avatar

Don’t stress about finding love…love will find you if it’s meant to be. Staying open to opportunity and socializing with likeminded others while being okay with being single is where it’s at.

Trillian's avatar

@Just_Justine Keep yourself open to possibilities and forget about the Hollywood definition of love. It could be right under your nose at this very minute!

Just_Justine's avatar

@trillian I hope so :)

thriftymaid's avatar

I will just say do not despair.

mollypop51797's avatar

don’t worry about it! Love will come, don’t look for it. You don’t look for friends, but they come don’t they? Love is love. And love will cross your path when it’s meant to. Give it time to travel over everyone else’s and one day it will come to yours.

flo's avatar

Lots of people are finding love in their 60’s, when they weren’t even expecting it, so don’t worry.

marinelife's avatar

I have some friends who fell in love and married in their 50s. They met at a photography club.

Just_Justine's avatar

thanks guys, feeling the hope swelling up loll

Jeruba's avatar

No time limit. None. And even if there were—what then? Convention is only convention.

I could cite numerous examples, but here’s just one, a couple I knew some years back. He was a confirmed bachelor of 56 and, to be kind, he didn’t look like anybody’s idea of a catch. He was stout, balding, socially awkward, eccentric, and marked with a permanent Stan Laurel dopey expression even though he was actually very smart and also kind-hearted. He also had MS. She was a true dragon lady right out of the Herman cartoons, thrice married and divorced, with grown children, and reputed to be a gold-digger. She also had considerable health issues. Nobody could account for the chemistry, but man, it was magical. The two of them hit it off. They glowed. They married. They could barely take care of themselves, but somehow they took care of each other until he died. We should all be so happy.

janbb's avatar

No time limit; I think love can come at any point. My mother has had three boyfriends since being in senior care.

zophu's avatar

People go through stages in their life, and these will always have unavoidable effects. But humans can make love work in the weirdest of ways, there’s no absolute stopwatch.

babaji's avatar

never could i admit to such a thing,
even recognizing as i did to things that you have said…
...but for sure love is the guiding light.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I think there’s a point in adulthood (not necessarily a particular age) when you think you know what you want from yourself and someone else in the arena of a relationship and you kind of stand there and say, “what are we waiting for?”.

cazzie's avatar

Get out there, doing what you love and open yourself up to meeting people. You don’t have to do bars and clubs to meet people. I’ve had some GREAT conversations at the grocery store. That expression of putting your neck out… well, it’s because your head is up and your eyes are looking around.

phillis's avatar

Perhaps it’s set according to our karmic clocks, my friend. If it is, your alarm just went off. Please hop to, and don’t hit the snooze bar. Time to get goooooiing!

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

I think it’s better to fall in love when you’re older. Then you’ve had time to figure yourself out and you can enjoy another’s company better.
I agree with you, too, about bars and clubs. They’re boring when you’re the sober one. Really hard to meet people genuinely there. Are you in a hiking group or something? That’d be a good place.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@janbb So you’re just saying you come from a long line of fluzzies?

janbb's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Wasn’t it obvious (although I think the correct spelling is “floozies”)?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@janbb I come from a long line of really rotten spellers.

flo's avatar

Re. the “floozies”, not everyone who has boyfriend/s is having sex, necessarily. Maybe they the boyfriends try to too soon and she gets rid of them.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@flo They’re in senior care. They don’t have time to waste, so they have to try soon.

flo's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe okay but the “floozie” part is an assumption, that anyone having had three boyfriends must have been having sex, and maybe at the same time…etc. that is what I meant.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@flo geriatric 4 ways?

janbb's avatar

I hope we’re not still talking about my mother. Eeww!

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@janbb I think I just developed ED.

janbb's avatar

Talk to Bob Dole.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@janbb I should know better than trying to match wit with you.

flo's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe I recognize you are joking around, but I still need to put it out there that “at the same time” as in, no one steady boyfriend, as in when you are 15 and your parents not wanting you to go out with just one boy, nothing to do with sex. Did you happen to catch Raquel Welsh on Oprah about 2or 3 days ago?

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