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ZEPHYRA's avatar

Husband's what is it that wives simply cannot or will not understand?

Asked by ZEPHYRA (20602points) April 22nd, 2010

Are there some things that don’t even need to be said but that should be understood or be unwritten rules for wives. I mean, do you ever think to yourself:“I wish I did not have to say this to her, I wish she could just see it for herself”?

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35 Answers

CMaz's avatar

That we fold towels different and the day is not complete until we kick our socks off in the middle of the room.

lilikoi's avatar

^better than leaving pants wherever you happen to take them off so that the leg holes stare back at you

MindStudy's avatar

Im not a husband but i do have a wife… I wish she could just figure out that she could have anything she wants and could get me to do virtually anything without complaint if she would just have as much sex with me as i want!! How hard of a concept is that to grasp? 2 maybe 3 times a week at the very least. Is that so much to ask?

tedibear's avatar

I’m actually a wife, but I have two sisters that do this and it makes me want to scream:

NAGGING IS COUNTERPRODUCTIVE! I have never had to nag my husband. First of all, it would bring up all of his stubborn genes and what I asked for would never get done. Anyone you nag (husband, kids, whomever) is going to shut down once you start. They aren’t going to do what you say until the twenty-third time because you have proven that you don’t “mean it” until then. Why don’t you mean it? Because you didn’t blow a gasket until then. Should you have to get that upset? No. And there’s a way around it. Say to your husband, “I need your help with X. If you can do it before dinner (or whenever you need) I would appreciate it.” Make sure you’re looking him right in the eyes so you know he heard you. Make sure he agreed that he can do it. Then, let it go. When dinner, or your chosen, agreed upon time arrives and it’s not done, then you can be annoyed. Not before. Give the guy a chance to come through for you. You will be pleasantly surprised at the result. You may have to do it a couple of times, but it does work.

Note: If it’s an emergency like you just chopped off a finger or a kid is on fire, it’s okay to holler, scream and be upset.

I will be interested to hear what the men of Fluther think of this.

njnyjobs's avatar

Leaving the seat up is for the wife’s benefit so that she doesn’t end-up laying her tushy on a wet toilet seat that got sprinkled on, especially if she has sons for kids.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@tedibear39 I love the way you say:“Make sure you are looking him right in the eyes…........”. It sounds like you are training the dog to get used to doing something!!!!
Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, it sounds cute!

dpworkin's avatar

I feel very well understood by my patient, empathetic, observant, loving and generous SO.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@dpworkin Wow, what a gal you have there!

dpworkin's avatar

Oh, you’re telling me. As I have said before, I hope I die first, because I would not want to live without her.

Jibbah_Jabbah's avatar

When I was married, one thing my wife did not understand was that spending large sums of money or incurring a major debt without at least consulting me wasn’t something I would ever think was a really great idea.

She made decisions like financing a new car on the spur of the moment as though it were an impulse purchase at the grocery store checkout counter.

“Surprise!”

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. If the magazine has a woman in bikini or such (and it is not a porn magazine) it might just be some article or feature for new electronic techno gadgets in it that you got the magazine for not to oogle what women the publisher deemed should be there too. Same for movies, just because there is the ubiquitous gratuitous sex scene (which about 70% of rated R and a good dose of PG-13 movies have) it was the plot or the story that you watch not to lust after a actress in the sex scene.

JeanPaulSartre's avatar

I guess I don’t have this problem. Would she ask the same thing in reverse?

gailcalled's avatar

Splinters from friction; clarity from diction. All husbands and all wives are not interchangeable.

dpworkin's avatar

Sucks from fucktion, ducks from rambunction. I agree with @gailcalled.

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Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Perhaps the question should have been, what assumptions about women do you exhibit as a misogynist that shows you to be ignorant and insensitive?

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

How indispensible we really are to them.

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mattbrowne's avatar

That husbands start thinking of solutions when wives are complaining instead of just saying, oh, dear, how awful, gee, that is really too bad. Offering solutions in situations like this seem to drive women crazy. It has taken me more than 20 years to learn this lesson. And my success rate is still hovering at 60%...

tedibear's avatar

@ZEPHYRA – It wasn’t rude at all! I laughed. :-) I was trying to convey that I need to make sure he sees me and not the sport-of-the-moment on TV. But, it is like training in it’s own way. ;~)

EmpressPixie's avatar

[mod says:] Off topic comments have been removed. Please stick to the topic at hand.

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