General Question

SubDreamer's avatar

Should i follow my boyfriend out of state for the third time?

Asked by SubDreamer (7points) April 24th, 2010

We have been together for two years, ive followed him to costa mesa, CA twice with the intention to go to school and get of my small island of Kauai, HI. We ended up being constantly unsatble, and broke, i didnt even get to the goal of walking into a school because i was so busy trying to find a job and a second job. Now he wants to go again but to San Diego, CA, to go to jiu jitsu university and i would go to school. Tuition would be out of state, and its where he wants to go but we’d be together, and i would be off this island.

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18 Answers

janbb's avatar

Only you can answer that based on your feelings about the relationship and your goals for your own life.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Ask yourself where YOU fit in in all this! Don’t leave your education, there is a huge chance you will be sorry you did one day. I don’t like to be negative and unromantic, but please take care of your own future because he may move on and progress and you will be left behind chasing after. It is all up to you of course, but DO think of yourself!

SubDreamer's avatar

what if our relationship has been on the rocks a bit lately, hes been very narcistic(is that a word) and I feel like i’ll get a student loan like hes planned and he’ll just mooch until he finds a job.

janbb's avatar

It sounds as though you have some real doubts about this. Maybe you want to stay put and see if the relationship survives a separation?

SubDreamer's avatar

I think i need to make a step toward my career and actually start college (I’m not in school), somedays are good others are very bad, he’s bee putting me down because i truly am so confused as to whether i should go or not, i get so many different responses form my friends and family.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Sorry to step in again, but I really think you should move on and stand on your own two feet and fulfil your potential.

janbb's avatar

Do you want to leave your island and is going with him a way to achieve that?

gemiwing's avatar

Move with him- get two jobs, pay for two people, rocky relationship.
Move by yourself- get one job, pay for one person, no rocky relationship.

Make a pro-con list and figure out which side wins.

SubDreamer's avatar

If i stayed in hawaii and just moved to another island, i would get off my island but would i be pathetic for not being adveturous or narrow minded?

janbb's avatar

The best lesson you can learn in life is that you can do whatever works for you and not worry about how it looks to outsiders. It sometimes takes a while to learn it but it is a great lesson to learn.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

If you’re moving out of Hawai’i, can I rent your place? I promise to take outstanding care of the property.

SubDreamer's avatar

thanks or eveyones input, it really really helps, i think you are all right it all sounds right, there are so many variables,i live with him, im close to work and rents free, neither of us pay, in a beautiful condo with a cat, I shouldnt have commited to something so lopsided and let it grow deeper. Bottom line is im over being taking advantage of, whether im not good enough for him or not i know i deserve better treatment and…......i just gotta figure out the loose ends when we break up. Such as living somewhere. Is living with my grandma pathetic? NO YOU CANNOT RENT MY PLACE, ITS NOT MY PLACE, ITS HIS RICH MOMS VACANT CONDO THAT WILL BE A VACATION RENTAL IF WE ARE NOT HERE. THANKS FOR YOUR THOUGHFUL QUESTION CAPTAIN FANTASY.

janbb's avatar

“Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.” Living with your Grandma for a while is fine if that’s what lets you leave.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

Move in with your grandmother, set a timeline for yourself to get off the island, and work towards that.

thriftymaid's avatar

Decide what you want to do and do it. Your goal appears to be getting off of the island and going to school. Do that! Don’t waste anymore time following this guy around.

marinelife's avatar

Why have things gone wrong in the past? Is it the luck of the draw or is it because of your boyfriend’s actions or inactions?

As to getting off the island, why do you have to follow your boyfriend off? WHy can’t you just chart your course and go for yourself?

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

I got all caps. Sweet.

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