Social Question

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Where is it written in stone that all men cheat?

Asked by Adirondackwannabe (36630points) June 2nd, 2010

I keep seeing statements, from women usually, that all men cheat. Where does that come from. Hello, never cheated. I’ve had offers from women, some that knew I was in a relationship, but I didn’t act on them. And I admit to being tempted at times, but I have to be able to look into the mirror and respect the person looking back at me. Am I in the minority?

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27 Answers

syz's avatar

I’ve never seen it written in stone. Research seems to show that more men than women cheat, but that hardly means every man.

I suspect that the vitriol that you see is because being cheated on is such a severe and damaging betrayal of trust (for men and women) that the topic creates an emotional tempest. And many of us are unable to separate our emotions from our intellect.

whatthefluther's avatar

Yes, I suspect we are in the minority. Seems like the right way though, doesn’t it?
See ya…..Gary/wtf

kevbo's avatar

On the handle of the knife that goes in your back.

We all get one standard issue. ;-)

dpworkin's avatar

Many researches suspect that the reason female extra-pair copulation seems less frequent than that of males is that it is more covert, and goes under reported.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

As always, dp appears to have nailed it.

whatthefluther's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe….I trust you weren’t talking in porn lingo!

whatthefluther's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe….Well then, you and he could accomplish that of which you speak!

aprilsimnel's avatar

Hardly anyone talks about when times are good or makes a fuss when something works. So we only ever hear/make noise about things like cheating. I have no idea where the idea that men are breathing pistons who can’t control themselves came from.

I can only say that I was brought up to believe that (straight) men are “simple creatures” who only want a woman for sex, meal prep and to flaunt as a trophy in front of their boys – that men don’t “love” anyone except for perhaps their children. I know the people telling me this felt they were protecting me as a young girl from being used, but it isn’t right or honest to say such things.

I’ve seen cheating, though. One of my cousins was engaged, yet was carrying on with three other women simultaneously and had the gall to be angry when his fiancee dumped him after finding out! I didn’t understand that at all. Why bother getting engaged, then? I never had the nerve to ask him.

Blackberry's avatar

It’s written on an overly emotional, non-fact based tablet in their minds.

DrBill's avatar

On the subject of the unfaithfulness of men, it may be well to note that 99.9% of these men are unfaithful with women. When you ask this question it is as if it is only men who do this. Well it’s not. Women are just as guilty.

In a survey (taken in 1997) found that those in an adulterous relationship, the female started 73% of affairs. But the question is if this is a predisposed condition. Yes it is. The faithful are faithful, because of their own personal standards and effort.

It is part of the nature of males, (human and animal) to distribute their seed to as many females as possible, to create the most offspring possible. It is part of the nature of females, (human and animal) to breed with the best specimen they can find to insure the best chance of survival for their offspring.

The only thing that prevents widespread random breeding is evolution, human conditioning, and training. The one other factor for humans to deal with is love. Immature love (better known as lust) can cause jealousy and possessiveness of the selected partner. Animals, on the other hand do not have this type of love, and think nothing of going from one partner to another, or breeding with a partner they do not know.

The most common reason for unfaithfulness is that the people involved are looking for something they are not getting at home. If the person is satisfied with their home life, they have no reason to stray.

p.s. Real men don’t cheat

janbb's avatar

Most of the men I am familiar with have never cheated to my knowledge – that includes brothers, fathers, BILs, etc. I would never make such a blanket statement or assumption.

GrumpyGram's avatar

That’s a Lie! Only Most men cheat !

BoBo1946's avatar

not all men cheat…never cheated in my marriage…but, she thought so…but, NEVER did! That is her problem. Hopefully, she is happy with her decision. I’m happy now. As the song says, “that is life!”

GrumpyGram's avatar

A lot of “innocent” men get dumped for being suspected of cheating when, in reality , they never cheated! All they did was call another woman up incessantly, text her, buy her gifts and take her out . They’re unjustly accused and did nothing wrong! (yet) lol

TooBlue's avatar

It’s the same thing as people, mostly men, saying all women are weak whores. Both are false obviously, but for some reason these stupid generalisations keep sticking around. They just won’t die.

Trillian's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe I just wrote yesterday that I was past the point of feeling like all of you were cheaters. Truly, I’m working on it, and I have faith in many men thanks largely in part to things a lot of you guys have either posted or privately PM’d me.
@Blackberry Ah, shaddup! ~

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Not on any stones near me.

Bluefreedom's avatar

It’s not written in stone anywhere. All men do not cheat, including me. What a terrible and ridiculous stereotype.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I’m certainly not typical or normal, but I was never disloyal to the lady I worshipped loved.

wilma's avatar

It’s good to know that all of you fine men on fluther are so loyal to your women.
I hope that the fluther women are just as loyal. :-)

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

Yes, you are in the minority…or you are from some other planet…other than Mars.

(By the way, good for you…it restores my hope.)

YARNLADY's avatar

Like @janbb none of the men I know are cheaters, including my entire extended family. I’ve never actually met one, although I read a lot about them here on Fluther.

I suspect that women (and men) who have been cheated on just don’t want to believe they hooked up with the wrong person.

Your_Majesty's avatar

That’s just another popular perception(not necessarily the truth). Stop following that and you’ll know the truth about it,and about yourself.

mattbrowne's avatar

It is not.

Silhouette's avatar

It’s not, women cheat as much as men do see

Clairey's avatar

I think men and women cheat,just about equally.
I do think though (and yes there are exceptions), that men and women cheat for different reasons and that the reasons men cheat make it seem dirtier and cheap. Much more of a betrayal even which is maybe why they have this reputation.
Men cheat because they fancy something different, women cheat because they want to be fancied.

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