Social Question

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Asking personal questions on fluther?

Asked by ANef_is_Enuf (25308points) June 20th, 2010

I brought this up because I actually had a somewhat personal question to ask, but I decided against it since my user name makes it easy to identify me, particularly if someone is looking for me online. So then I wondered how reserved other jellies are about asking questions that relate to their personal lives. Of course I have seen questions on here that range from hilarious and silly to deeply personal.. but what is YOUR policy? How personal is too personal for you?

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25 Answers

Val123's avatar

Pretty darn reserved.
Anything that could hurt someone I know, or anything that could get me in any kind of trouble.

meagan's avatar

I know we’ve talked before, if you’d like to talk, hit me up sometime.
I’d never post my last name. My username makes my first kind of obvious ;P. I’d never post about my city or job, either.
But I don’t really have a policy. I’m a fairly honest person without anything to hide.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

You can ask me any personal question you want. As can anyone else.

meagan's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Social security number, please? ;P

downtide's avatar

There are some things I’ll never post about. Work, my family and my sex life, are probably the top three. I do talk quite openly about being transsexual, which is probably the most personal thing about me that I do talk about. I’m not comfortable sharing my current legal name, but once I’ve changed it to something appropriate for my real gender (as opposed to the gender everyone assumes I am), I may well be more comfortable with that.

MissAnthrope's avatar

My original username was basically my name, and the one I use for everything (as I am uncreative and it is usually available). This made it difficult to be real here, as it turned out, when at least one of my exes found me here and took issue with some things I said.

I have since changed my username and generally don’t care what kind of questions I ask, as long as they’re not really stupid ones. I am a bit shy and reserved generally, but I try hard to be open and honest here. So, personal questions, I don’t mind asking. I also don’t mind sharing information about myself here, as I might in real life. I’ve been here long enough to feel like folks know me, and since at least some still like me, I think I’m cool in being vulnerable and open at times.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@meagan Why do you need it? Besides, I didn’t say I’ll answer anything you want…just that you can ask me anything

ucme's avatar

Each to their own I s’pose.As far as i’m concerned what goes on in my home stays at home.Well broad brush strokes but no fine details.

Jeruba's avatar

Some people do open a second account with a really opaque username and no telltale particulars so they can ask embarrassing questions. This is allowed under fluther guidelines.

janbb's avatar

Yes, as @Jeruba says you can open a second more hidden account for asking more personal questions. I’ve never felt the need to as I don’t use this site for dealing with private issues.

Sarcasm's avatar

Well, in this question I mentioned that nobody from my real life knows about me on Fluther.
My username isn’t very identifiable, though I guess if somebody from real life saw my avatar they’d know who I was.

I don’t ask personal questions simply because I don’t have any to ask. None of the embarrassing variety. My biggest medical/physical issue is asthma. My biggest sex/relationship issue is that I don’t have any.

I’m really not sure, if an issue came up, whether I’d hop on an alternate account or not. On one hand, it would protect my amazing, perfect masculine image. On the other hand, I feel like a personal question asked by a 1-lurve user will be dismissed by too many people as a troll, and I wouldn’t get as many helpful responses.

janbb's avatar

@Sarcasm Maybe if you posted it as “I’m Not Sarcasm” we would respond.

cookieman's avatar

I write nothing here that I wouldn’t repeat in real life.
Same goes for Facebook (the only other “social” site I frequent).

That being said, I’m pretty open and frank in real life too.

James_Mal's avatar

Well, my name points me out easily…

LuckyGuy's avatar

I keep private, private. I will discuss private items by PM but not out in the open. I trust the recipient of said info to keep it as intended. As I do.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I do think I would be more open if I hadn’t made myself so easily identified. I don’t have anything embarrassing to ask, but certain things that pertain to my personal life.. I wouldn’t want specific people to happen to come across.
When I chose my username, when I opted to use my own picture… I didn’t realize how useful fluther would be. I’m a very curious person by nature, I thought it would be exciting to join and ask and answer questions. I’ve never used a similar site before (unless most, from what I gather). I’ve come to find that it’s valuable to have the opinions of multiple, intelligent people on hand all the time. It isn’t really something that has ever been available to me in the past.. and I suppose if I had known that, I may have chosen my fluther “identity” with more discretion.

janbb's avatar

You might talk with Auggie or Andrew about rolling over your account to a new identity. It could be a possibility.

CMaz's avatar

I am not from this planet. Good luck finding me. But…
There are clues.

Besides, it is not like I have to face anyone. And that’s half the battle.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@janbb what does “rolling over” your account mean, exactly?

(oh, and EDIT: my previous post I wrote “unless most” rather than “unlike most”)

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

I’ll answer just about anything anyone asks me. Nothing that will get my identity stolen, but I see no reason to lie or hide anything. The only thing I’m embarrassed about is going into detail about my stunted social growth and understanding of relationships. I’m working on that at the current moment, so maybe later. I’ve got a lack of a filter for social cues, so I’ll answer anything.
It’s late, someone please tell me if that made sense. :)

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Made sense to me :)

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

If I was going to post a question that might be embarassing, I’d do as @Jeruba suggested. I get pretty personal in some of my answers, but I don’t post information about living persons without their approval. I’m also careful not to give my name or exact location on public posts, as I have trouble with cyber-stalkers. I also use firewalls and a proxy server for all non-business interactions online (I don’t understand the stuff, but hired an IT professional to set it all up). I’ll also answer some questions by PM rather than post my answer publicly.

janbb's avatar

@TheOnlyNeffie If you don’t care about retaining your lurve points, you could just delete this account and start a new more private one. A few people who had accumulated a lot of lurve found that some people in RL have discovered their Fluther accounts and asked Andrew to tweak their identity somewhat so that they could preserve their anonymity. I don’t think it’s often done, but if it is important to you, you could ask.the powers that be.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@janbb ahhh, thank you. I don’t believe I have what anyone would consider “a lot” of lurve… but I have grown pretty attached to the lurve I’ve accumulated. Maybe that’s standard territory for a newbie. I will probably just avoid asking/stating anything that I think might not be wise to have on the internet attached to my name, but it’s a nice option to know about should it become necessary for whatever reason. Thanks again :)

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