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BoBo1946's avatar

Do you believe that money is the biggest problem in a relationship?

Asked by BoBo1946 (15285points) August 2nd, 2010

We have seen this especially here in America. Where couples bought homes they could not afford. Big cars they cannot afford.

Do you live within your means or do you try to“keep up with the Jones?”

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23 Answers

cookieman's avatar

This is two separate questions.

To answer the main question: No…there’s always sex and inlaws to fight about.

To answer the second question: Yes I try to live within my means but could always be better at managing my money.

johnnydohey's avatar

No, the size and shapes of sexual organs are.

boxer3's avatar

I don’t think money is the biggest problem in a relationship.

I tend to focus more on my needs in opposition to purchasing things I know
I can not afford.

BoBo1946's avatar

Guess every family it would be different. But, from what i’ve read, most agree money is the biggest problem. People, like our government…in USA, live on credit cards. I’ve one credit card that i use. It has a very small limit for emergencies.

woodcutter's avatar

trust is. so maybe money could be at the root of any mistrust

john65pennington's avatar

Yes. money is the root of all evil and the lack of it or the squandering of it, will lead to domestic violence and divorce.

zannajune's avatar

I’ve never believed money to be the biggest problem in a relationship. It often has to do with communication and trust. If you don’t have those then money is definitely the least of your issues.

As for your second question, my fiance and I live within our means quite well. We’re actually pretty frugal, but enjoy life. We’ve planned a very simple wedding and the cost (minus the price of rings) is at about $1000. Pretty darn cheap for a wedding.

YARNLADY's avatar

No, although differences about money are high on the list of failed marriages.

The main problem in marriages is lack of respect for each other and lack of communication.

perspicacious's avatar

Each one has its own unique problems.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

okay…that is one difficulty in my book. But over all the answer would be no. I mean to me the top three are 1: trust 2:sex 3:money and it goes on to intimacy and other stuff like that To me. But I can say there are many problems based on money. It could become a major problem for people if they don’t play their cards right. You could end up loosing everything you got now. So be thankful for the money you have now.

nikipedia's avatar

“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” —Tolstoy

NaturallyMe's avatar

I don’t think so…..i would imagine things like trust, loyalty, companionship and being able to get along together are bigger issues?

As to the “second” part of your question, we live within our means, i would never dream of being so silly as to try to keep up with the Jones’s (who are probably in debt as well trying to live the fancy life when they really can’t afford to).

LuckyGuy's avatar

Like air and sex it is only a problem when you don’t have any.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I have read that money is often stated as an issue that drives couples apart. I think it’s not so much the money but, perhaps, different expectations, partners not pulling equal weight, etc.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Good point. My sister left her husband, not because he hadn’t worked in years or because he couldn’t keep from spending any money in his pocket. She was willing to be the sole bread-winner on her teacher’s salary, including volunteering to teach summer school.

He became emotionally and verbally abusive over time. The final straw was when he refused to look after their youngest child and insisted that she go to daycare.

@BoBo1946 To answer your original question, I have always lived within my means. Some may call my lifestyle frugal, but it comes down to the fact that I just don’t really need much.

It’s been interesting to watch the neighborhood over the past year. Six houses in the immediate area have been mysteriously vacated, and the ‘For Sale’ signs in their yards are for realtors I’ve never heard of before. I finally looked them up on the internet, and they are for HUD-related agencies.

BoBo1946's avatar

oh, there are thousands of them that are in foreclosure! What we don’t know, is what happened to those families…picked the pieces, divorced, separated, etc.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@BoBo1946 I worry about that, too. I miss the young girl that lived across the street and often wonder about her well-being.

BoBo1946's avatar

yeah, that is the saddest part. The children get caught in the middle of a mess.

Aster's avatar

I know money is because I’ve read it so much. My s/o and I have no problems regarding money. We share. We’re fair. We live within our means. To do anything else would be Very stressful. Couples should always have a load stashed away in case it’s needed. It makes you feel safe. but safety is really an illusion, you know?

Aster's avatar

The two homes up from ours are for sale; one is vacant. Then next to the vacant home someone is actually building a new house!
Who does that now?? Weird to see the trucks and hear the noise.
It will be smaller than our house. Finally, someone in this community will have a smaller one than ours!

misstrikcy's avatar

According to the US Dept of Agriculture, if you earn less than $44,500 pa then you are likely to spend approx $143,790 on raising your children…
If you earn more than $74,900 then the costs of raising your children go up to $289,380.

Gulp…!! How much money….?

Then add on top of that the house payments, the car payments, the bills (which are getting higher and higher whilst wages are getting frozen)... etc etc, and then include all the usual stresses and strains a family goes through…

It’s just a huge pressure pot, and when it overcooks – divorce is a likely outcome.

But our governments, and the media for the last 15 years or so have been telling everyone… “you can have it all,” and there are so many desperate people out there wanting to do the best for their families, and they get sucked into these debts without really considering the consequences.

The tragedy – you pay the price with your family.

YARNLADY's avatar

@misstrikcy—the USDA figures the Food, Transportation, Health Care, Clothing,
Child Care and Education, and Miscellaneous Expenses into the amount they use, so you don’t really have the full amount of the other expenses on top of it. In other words, in a family of four, ¼ of the house payment would be counted in for the child.—

misstrikcy's avatar

@YARNLADY Thanks for expanding on the info from the USDA. The article I was reading was clearly a little thin on the detail.

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