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Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

When is a family visit more than a visit?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26829points) August 19th, 2010

When is a visit more than a visit? When your relatives visit how long or how many days do they stay on average? How many days do you believe the average visit last before the guest go home? Does it make a difference if the “visitor” is children, parents or siblings? If your relative wants to visit until they get situated or ”straightened out” how much time would you give them to ”visit”? And would that amount change if they had the opportunity to move on but simply passed on the chance because it would cost more than they wanted to pay but they could have by tightening their belt a little? Would being pregnant or with a small child change the game? What if you could not have people living there which was not on the least or against HA rules, does that change the deal? If they don’t pay and very rarely help out with anything make you figure different?

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11 Answers

Cruiser's avatar

My family whom I almost never get to see because for extreme distances are more than welcome to stay a week or two borrow my car and not pay a dime for anything even though they would insist on groceries and really good beer.

All my in-laws live nearby and (thankfully) never stay more than a few hours and I would go on a solo fishing trip if any ever threatened to spend the night.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Any friends or members of the family can stay a week or two. It is a pleasure.
My brother stayed for 6 months. It was not. Oy! Don’t get me started.

john65pennington's avatar

A visit depends on the circumstances involved. my son asked my wife to babysit for him and his new wife in Seattle. that’s 3,000 miles away. the babysitting visit will be eight days, while they go on their honeymoon. this visit is pretty much set in gold as far as days there and so on. an unannouced visit should be no more than three days, especially if the visiting party is not contributing to the family’s food and utility costs. too many people, under one proof, tends to make people….........crazy.

Frenchfry's avatar

No more then a week. I would go bonkers.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

There are no time frames with me. A family “visit” becomes too long when the family member sticks their nose into my business or tries to usurp my role as mother to my children. It could take a week, it could take 5 minutes.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I think it depends on the relationship and the situation. When I lived close to my mom and saw her almost daily, a visit was going over for dinner or going shopping together. Now that I live far away and don’t see her often, a visit is a week or more depending on how long we can stay. Any family member that comes to see us is welcome to stay with us and we would cover the costs of anything while they were there. So far, no one has ever outstayed their welcome, so I don’t really know when that limit would be reached. I think it would depend on the situation. Like @WillWorkForChocolate said, if someone tried to usurp my role as mother to my child, their welcome would wear out much quicker.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@worriedguy And should they say they will depart after 2 weeks but never seem to get moving? <raised brow>

@john65pennington an unannouced visit should be no more than three days, especially if the visiting party is not contributing to the family’s food and utility costs. Just stating they are “dropping by” make a couples of plans to move on but don’t because they have no where to go and they need more time (never really specified) to “get situated” how long would it be before you consider it more than just a “simple visit”?

@WillWorkForChocolate What about your household sovereignty? Breaking house rules and trvializing it or saying “but we are family” as if it don’t or should not apply to them?

pearls's avatar

When you think you are beginning to smell dead fish. Really would depend on what family members it would be. My children and grandchildren could live with me and it wouldn’t bother me one bit.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Trust me, there has been a long ongoing inner battle with my mother for quite some time now. She can be here for 5 minutes and wear out her welcome. She frequently wears out her welcome, just on the telephone… Although things are getting better since I’ve talked to her about what she’s doing.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

A typical visit is a week from most but our favorite ones are welcome to stay months at a time.

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