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Brenna_o's avatar

How do I deal with a person who "bullys"?

Asked by Brenna_o (1729points) August 19th, 2010

So there is this girl I know. She is my friends friend and we DO NOT get along. I try my hardest to ignore her, but now its getting serious.
She has threatened me, called me names over facebook, spread rumors that arent true about me, and my ex had sex with her when we were dating… It is now to the point where my friend is taking her side more then mine and the whole situation is a huge crappy mess. I dont know what to do about it anymore and I am at my witts ends putting up with it. I cannot handle it all.
Any suggestions on what to do about her bulleying and what to say to my friend??

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11 Answers

chyna's avatar

Are you sure your “friend” is really your friend if she is taking the other person’s side? This is going to be easier said than done, but I wouldn’t hang around your “friend” for now and I would just delete my facebook account. You CAN live without facebook. You can’t be bullied by someone if you are not near them and if you don’t read the hurtful things they say about you.

YARNLADY's avatar

I have not found that there is any effective way to deal with type of situation. The best solution is to avoid it as much as possible. Remove these people from your life, or remove yourself from the situation.

marinelife's avatar

Drop your friend who is taking her side. Find new friends.

Tell your parents. Show them examples. Does this involve school? If so, report her to the school authorities.

Seaofclouds's avatar

If you value the friendship with your friend, talk to her about it. It may be that you are outgrowing this friendship. As for the girl that is bullying you, ignore her as best you can. Block her from your Facebook and don’t read what she writes on your friend’s Facebook. If you hear a rumor, you can ignore it or just try to correct the person. People like this will keep doing what they are doing as long as they know it is bothering you. Once you show this person that you no longer care about them or their actions, they will move on and find someone else to bother.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Start documenting everything, now! Send copies of text messages to your email account. Make a word or excel document with date, time, a piece of the note. and a link to the full note.

Do not tell anyone – and I do mean ANYONE – that you are doing this. You want to capture a solid month’s worth of harassment.
Once you have the ammunition you need, call the police and discuss it with a counselor.
You might be able to have her charged with aggrevated harrassment.
End of story.
How you deal with a bully? Hit them with a stick so big, so heavy they cannot get up.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Here is an excerpt from NYS Penal Code
Section 240.30 Aggravated harassment in the second degree.

A person is guilty of aggravated harassment in the second degree when, with intent to harass, annoy, threaten or alarm another person, he or she:

1. Either (a) communicates with a person, anonymously or otherwise by telephone, or by telegraph, mail or any other form of written communication, in a manner likely to cause annoyance or alarm; or (b) causes a communication to be initiated by mechanical or electronic means or otherwise, with a person, anonymously or otherwise, by telephone, or by telegraph, mail or any other form of written communication, in a manner likely to cause annoyance or alarm; or

2. Makes a telephone call, whether or not a conversation ensues, with no purpose of legitimate communication;

Start collecting your data.

trailsillustrated's avatar

you say PISS OFF to them both- make your fb private

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

@worriedguy has your answer… that is, if you really want to do something about it. And as he says, “tell no one”.

In the mean time, speak kindly of those who persecute you. Jesus says that’s like heaping hot coals upon their head. And it will make you look all the more secure when @worriedguy‘s advice is heeded.

Finally, do you really need friends like that? What a small fish bowl you must live in. Everyone knows that when a person speaks horribly of someone else that it’s really just self projection… Well, genuine people worthy of real friendship know it anyway. All others are gossipers and rumor whores. What kind of friend is that?

Betcha’ $5 bucks that after you walk away from both of them, it’ll be less than a month before they turn on each other.

DDAA's avatar

My first response is: Don’t. I would weigh the pluses and minuses on a sheet of paper and see for yourself which side wins, I wouldn’t take it as absolute, but would take an inventory on how you feel.

dc10's avatar


Chickidee's avatar

Well I can agree that is one BIG crappy mess!!!!!!!!! I does depend on your age group though. Since you can’t really get away from her I’m quessing your still in school. So am I. I’m also quessing your a junior or senior. Wel the first thing you should do is( if u can, I wouldn’t know cuz I’m not good at keeping up my facebook) close the account or create a new one. The next thing you should do is not talk to her at all. This can be difficult( VERY) ecspecially when it’s sooooooo tempting to tell her off. Trust me. SHe’ll eventually get it that the whole thing was idiotic. That could take awile but it worked with me.
Theen do something you love an dMAKE BETTER FRIENDS!!!!!!!! CUZ THOSE ARN’T FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
– Luv Chickidee

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