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lillycoyote's avatar

What's the lamest or most elaborate or most ridiculous excuse that you've ever concocted for have done something or for having failed to do something?

Asked by lillycoyote (24835points) August 26th, 2010

How did it go over? Did people believe it or not? I don’t really have any. I try to go with the truth, or sometimes at least some minimal, least damning or least embarrassing version of it, but I’m not above making something up out of whole cloth, but when I make up an excuse, a lie, I usually think simpler is better, but maybe some of you are more creative than I am.

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16 Answers

talljasperman's avatar

I’ve told a dean… that I was traveling thru time… to get out of budget meetings…I believe it is real and it worked…I got to keep my $100 funding for my club… but I had to meet with him once a week a least to stay out of trouble

lillycoyote's avatar

@talljasperman LOL. I’ll have to try that one sometime.

daytonamisticrip's avatar

I used to constantly lie and come up with excuses. Even when I was a little kid I scared myself because how crafty I was at lying. Now I find it useless to lie and make excuses. I own up and take the punishment.

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

I add a tinge of pathetic and helpless to my voice when I have to bend the truth a bit. I try not to lie, but when I need someone to do something for me and I know I can’t get them to do it unless I fib a bit, it’ll happen. @talljasperman That’s a pretty good one. I faked food poisoning to get uot of work once. That’s about as bad as I’ve gotten.

lillycoyote's avatar

@py_sue I must confess that I used “food poisoning” excuse once, o.k. maybe twice, myself to get a sick day off of work. I know some people don’t approve of that sort of thing but, they make their choices and I make mine and my sick days came out of the same pool of hours that my vacation days did. The only time that didn’t come out of my alloted pool of paid time off was bereavement leave.

Frenchfry's avatar

I said I could not get my car started one time when I was late but fact I was having sex.

Cruiser's avatar

Chuck Norris ate my homework!

JilltheTooth's avatar

In 1977 I got a green frog tattooed on my boob I was 23 and managed to keep it hidden from my very consertative parents for 3 years. No mean feat, considering that nudity was never an issue in our family. My Dad walked in on me when I was getting out of the shower one time, saw it and yelled “What the Hell is that?!” Being quick on my feet and extremely bright, I answered the first thing that came to mind: “Must be a piece of lettuce left over from lunch.” I know, I know. On my boob? After a shower? He almost choked for the laughing.

daytonamisticrip's avatar

@JilltheTooth Way to think in the heat of the moment. If you want to get away with something you have to be careful. You have to be in a constant state of asking yourself If this happens, I’ll do this. Or if it gets seen I’ll say this. Way to think on your feet, I guess you deserve some credit for hiding it for 3 years.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

My grandmother, bless her heart, has died over 10 times.

Vunessuh's avatar

One of my old jobs was overworking me, so I got pissed off and decided that I wanted to sleep in one morning. At the time, my apartment had underground parking, so I called up work and told them I couldn’t get my car out of the garage because the automatic gate wasn’t working and I had to wait on the maintenance guy. I was 4 hours late to work. It was a big fuck you to them and I got the rest I wanted. I pulled shit like that several times with them just to get some sleep.

woodcutter's avatar

Two words- I forgot. It sure is lame but not very elaborate

lillycoyote's avatar

@woodcutter I have to admit, that’s my standard too. I’m so bad. Most of the time I use that one I didn’t forget, I just blew it off.

woodcutter's avatar

@lillycoyote Oh no, not the blow off! That is pretty bad.

lillycoyote's avatar

@JilltheTooth Wow! Talk about thinking on your feet, however unsuccessfully, given the fact that your father laughed his ass off at it’s lameness :-). But you do get lots of credit for giving it your best shot. I got my tattoo around 1981 or so, I would have been around the same age, 22 or 23, a sun rising out of clouds on my lower back, right side (a tattoo I have only recently learned is referred to as a “tramp stamp” which is hilarious to me give my advancing middle-ageness) but I, like you, never intended for my parents to ever know about it. But one day, when I was home for a few weeks visiting my folks I was squatting down in front of the dryer putting a load in and had apparently fallen prey to the “plumbers crack” effect, lowering the level of the waist of my jeans to the point where my tattoo was visible and the next thing I know my father is standing behind me saying: “You sure as hell better never let your mother see that.” I didn’t even know what he was talking about at first, and I spun around with this look on my face, a kind of shocked, blank, questioning stare and he said: “The tattoo, you sure as hell better not let your mother see that.” And that was it.

JilltheTooth's avatar

@lillycoyote : My Dad made me tell my Mom…who was NOT amused. She considered it to be yet another indication that I was a worthless demented slut…wrist to brow

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