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SassyPink's avatar

How to deal with jerks in your life that are still living in the past?

Asked by SassyPink (279points) September 27th, 2010

In college, I came across these two cousins that used to pick on me in middle school. At first I didn’t recognized them as I haven’t seen them a long time ago since I moved away. They were both staring at me as I walked by for some reason and it didn’t occur to me why at first. Until one of the girl mentions to her cousin (loudly and obnoxious enough for me to hear by the way), “Hey, isn’t that the girl you used to beat up?” and started snickering. It finally occurred to me who they are and brought back some bad memories. I just took one look back and didn’t say a word and Ignore them. At the same time, I kinda feel sorry for them since they still haven’t moved on from that stupid middle school drama after all these years (It’s really pathetic, actually. Hello, We’re in college!).

A long time ago in middle school, I used to have these problems with these girls at school. The middle school I attended at the time was very ghetto and had brought the worst out of people even some people that I used to be friends with in elementary. Back then I used to be a very shy, generous and self-conscious girl which makes me their easy target. These cretins would sometimes harass me, make fun of me whenever they had the chance, and talking s*** about me behind their backs. They basically treated me like I was a loser. I used to believe they were right once, but I realize it is just their way to bring me down and I basically ignore them and continue with my classes. Whenever one of the cousins started to pick a fight with me and I would report her to the principal’s office, the girl would always make excuses to get themselves out of trouble. Worst of all, she would unfairly blame the problems on me that I started the fight which got me some referrals and detentions. (Though there is this one time when she finally did got in trouble for harassing me due to witnesses.)

By freshmen year of high school, I basically moved far away from another city (not because of my troubles in MS), started a new life, made new friends, join a sport and organizations.

Fasting forward to present day:
I have obviously change a lot since after MS and mostly full of self-esteem. I have gotten through a new life that they never knew. I almost even forgot that I ever did have problems with them in MS since I moved on. However, now that I discovered that we now attended the same college I’m still the same girl that they remembered in middle school to them. It a big campus, I know, and I won’t see them much often but I’m still concern about what’s going to happen next incase I bump into them again…

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10 Answers

talljasperman's avatar

If they are bothering you… you can report them to the universities harassment councilor…if they aren’t bothering you then you can stay away from them… I’ve been harassed in university and I wish I had reported them..or at the very least told someone

WestRiverrat's avatar

I wouldn’t have any dealings with them at all. If they push it let the authorities deal with it. Sounds like they are not worth your time.

Scooby's avatar

One situation in which it is vital to report bullying is if it threatens to lead to physical danger and harm. Numerous school & University students have died when stalking, threats, and attacks went unreported and the silence gave the bully license to become more and more violent.
Sometimes the victim of repeated bullying cannot control the need for revenge and the situation becomes dangerous for everyone.
Adults in positions of authority, parents, teachers, or coaches can often find ways to resolve dangerous bullying problems without the bully ever learning how they found out about it.
If you’re in a bullying situation that you think may escalate into physical violence, try to avoid being alone. Try to remain part of a group by walking to lectures etc at the same time as other people or by sticking close to friends or fellow students during the times that the bullying may take place :-/

BarnacleBill's avatar

It would be in your best interest to try to avoid crossing paths with these two, whenever possible. If the cousin is some sort of sociopath, he may, in his dinosaur brain, decide that you’re still fair game for an assault.

Cruiser's avatar

You ignore them. Some peoples lives are so bereft of meaning that they attempt to project their misery on others. Don’t fall into their trap.

marinelife's avatar

Make sure that you walk between classes with other people.

Don’t let them find out where you live.

CMaz's avatar

Open a can of whoopass and bitch slap them both.

wundayatta's avatar

Bullies want to provoke a reaction. I must say, I’m surprised they still have the bully in them, but some people never grow up.

It doesn’t sound like they touched you, and I doubt if they will on campus. If they are interested in bothering you, I’m sure they could find you—perhaps even in the campus directory.

What I think is the best thing to do is to utterly not see them. Block them out of your mind. Don’t hurry up; don’t slow down. Just realize that they aren’t really there at all. I doubt if they will bother you since there will be a lot more people on campus to see what they are doing. I really don’t think you should give them any more time in your thought queue. It’s really not worth it.

Inspired_2write's avatar

Leave then in the dust.

raven860's avatar

This is a question that popped up in my suggested questions in relation to the question I asked. I would just find it humorous that they are have grown zilch while I have down so much. I would find it very humorous that they are still their 12-yea-old selves and not associate with them. I would find a mature group of people and hang with them.

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