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BoBo1946's avatar

How do you handle people that are totally self centered?

Asked by BoBo1946 (15285points) October 5th, 2010

We have all been there and done that…. People who are totally oblivious to others…not only what others are feeling or dealing with, but never hear a word others say, etc.

I love my mother….she went through a lot to rear my brother and myself. But, when she calls me…which is rare. It’s never to ask how I’m doing, but the convesation goes like this. “Hey, what are doing?” “I’m out of Poligrip…when are going to get it?” loll She has always been about her…but, having said that, I do understand why because of what she went through and I overlook it.

How do you handle people close to you that are self centered?

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15 Answers

Cruiser's avatar

I have come to realize self centered people will never change. I either find a way to relieve myself from the conversation or have some fun and nod my head and then tell them just how great I think they are.

BoBo1946's avatar

:)))- that is just who they are @Cruiser !

CMaz's avatar

You’ve got to accentuate the positive Eliminate the negative.

Aster's avatar

Well, with your own mother you should just ignore it, Boo. Humor her; she is who she is so just accept it and try and put it out of your mind.
As far as other people , if you’re really concerned with them too,
you know you can’t change them. You have to either grit your teeth or distance yourself if they drive you up a wall. Don’t communicate if it’s just too unpleasant.

john65pennington's avatar

Being a Sag., i tell it like it is. i say the very first comment that comes to my brain and sometimes, i have had to apologize for it. the other day, this woman asked to borrow my ink pen. after using it, she gave it back and never said a word. i responded by saying. “you’re welcome”. she had a surprised look on her face and never said a word. she did not say thank you, but i had my comeback to her that satisfied me. some people are really inconsiderate. you have to handle each one in a different manner.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Aster oh, I’m all about humor….it really doesn’t bother me! Just who she is…. Actually, she is one real funny person herself. She is a hoot….

Actually, the truth of the matter, everyone and certainly including myself, are to some degree self centered.

BoBo1946's avatar

@john65pennington well, I’ve done that also…. dang John, if I could only be perfect…loll

BoBo1946's avatar

@ChazMaz yeah, i like the positive and certainly the humor. When I see her number on my caller ID, I’ll answer the phone by saying, “this is Jack’s Mule Barn, and you are speaking to the number Jack!” And, lmao…. More times than not, she will say, “you mean the number one Jackass!”

YARNLADY's avatar

You adjust your responses accordingly. Since you know they won’t listen, you do the listening. You can’t change other people to fit your preconceived ideas of what they should be, but you are in charge of your own responses.

Kardamom's avatar

If it’s someone that you love, such as your mom in this case, you really have to just accept it and then decide how much of it you can deal with. When she calls, you can pretty much just tune out what she is saying and throw in a few uh-hus, really’s and oh’s every now an then. But have a time limit in mind for yourself and force yourself to get off the phone with a “fake” other incoming call, doorbell ringing or kitchen fire alarm going off. The other alternative is to cut the person out of your life completely, but that is really a drastic measure, that you will likely regret.

If it’s someone that you work with, just bypass them as much as possible, or butt in if you have to to ask them a question that you need answered. If it’s someone you work with that you kind of like (even though they talk non-stop about themselves and their situations) just have some pat answers ready for why you have to leave the room (it seems to happen often in the lunchroom) and then go.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Kardamom yes, it’s just who she is….i’ve accepted that. We have a good relationship because i chose to overlook that “stuff!”

partyparty's avatar

I try to overlook people being self centred and put it down to them not knowing any better.

However, I have an aunt, and quite often when she is doing a dinner party for friends, she will ask me to make something for her. Yesterday she asked if I would make her some swan meringues. When I told her I was too busy she merely said “well I will have to find someone else then” and put the ‘phone down. Never asked how I was, what I was up to, nothing.
It can hurt at times, but I do my utmost to forgive her… because sometimes she invites me to her dinner parties and they are superb :))

BoBo1946's avatar

@partyparty grrrrrrrrr….that made me mad !

Kate55's avatar

I can be self centered and usually I get the attention but my friends easily become annoyed with me

snowberry's avatar

It is counter productive to give any emotional lurve to self centered people. People like this tend to be emotionally immature. So I would respond to them as if they were actually the age they were acting.

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