General Question

JonnyCeltics's avatar

How do I stop looking at Women as Objects?

Asked by JonnyCeltics (2716points) October 5th, 2010

I am sick of it. I don’t always do it, but it’s such a second nature-type reaction that it has me going a bit wild. It’s screwing up my perceptions and considerations of what is actually being said or implied by them at times…I’d just like to work on it.

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19 Answers

skfinkel's avatar

Accept that you are attracted to women, and that you can’t ignore that aspect. Then, in addition, maybe you can begin to think about what they are saying, how they are thinking. Ask women questions, and listen to their answers. Being attracted to women doesn’t seem bad, but looking at any human being as an object does seem to lessen their humanity.

JonnyCeltics's avatar

It’s more than attraction, it’s checking them out, always. It’s sh*t.

fundevogel's avatar

That isn’t seeing women as objects. It’s natural to check out people you’re attracted to, no matter your gender or theirs. It isn’t truly objectification unless you can’t see anything to them beyond their bodies being an object of desire.

lillycoyote's avatar

I’m sorry I don’t have an answer that doesn’t have at least some smartassery in it but here we go (and you have said you are “sick of it” and want to change): Nothing at all wrong with a guy being sexually attracted to a woman, we kind of like that, and nothing wrong with the chemistry that fuels that but some things, sadly, are about self-control and self discipline. Take a second or two to inhale the glorious sexuality of the woman you are with, no ogling or grunting or nostril flaring, though, look her in the eyes, those are those two organs that sit on either side of her nose, not the two that are creating the fullness in her top, stop thinking about yourself, and listen to what she has to say. It may take some practice, but you’ll do fine. That’s a good place to start, at least. :-)

iamthemob's avatar

Yeah. There’s no problem with viewing anyone as a sexual object. As long as you don’t view them ONLY as a sexual object.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Hell, at least you’re trying.

marymaryquitecontrary's avatar

You could become surgically altered, that tends to cause a man to lose much of his previous interest.

rooeytoo's avatar

You are the master of your fate:
 You are the captain of your soul. (Invictus, sort of)

Just do it. And if you truly are incapable of it, then perhaps you should seek counseling because it sounds as if you are on your way to a sex addiction problem.

Remember women are human also, often have brilliant intellects. They are not simply a couple of anatomical parts created for your pleasure.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Acknowledge your physical attraction to women but remember that appearance (attractive or not) is mainly just how you respond to external features analogous to packaging on products.

Don’t let the packaging determine what you want or how you respond to the person. Speak to women without staring at their physical features that initially attract you. Find out who they are, what they like and think about and what makes them happy. Tell them similar things about you. Find out if you have the basis for a friendship. The underlying concepts are respect and honesty.
Try it out!

truecomedian's avatar

It’s natural, to a degree. Don’t trip, to a certain extent it’s ok. After you get to know the person, that objectionability fades. There’s a lot of eye candy out there, especially on the Promenade in Santa Monica. Do you see yourself as a piece of meat, as an object, I’d start there. Later

FutureMemory's avatar

Don’t be ashamed of having a penis.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@FutureMemory I don’t think ‘having a penis’ is about ‘treating women as objects’ – they’re not related.

MrsDufresne's avatar

In my personal experience, the men that have daughters, stop looking at women like objects.

maxx1221's avatar

I wish I could do this. I get too emotional

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Consider talking and getting to know them for who they really are, instead of imagining them to be something that you think they should be.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Can you please provide more detail of what you mean by “object”? When I hear that word as a descriptor of women, I think of Edith Bunker, trophy wives and prostitutes/rape victims. I don’t think that is what you are experiencing, as you mention it is about checking women out. I just want to make sure we are all clear on what your actions are, in addition to your concern about it.

FutureMemory's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Sure they are. Women are sexual objects to men – it’s when that’s all that they are that it becomes a problem. I would think that’s obvious?

Universal_Scapegoat's avatar

Why would you want to stop that? lol

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