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Aubs427's avatar

Is it normal for couples to sleep facing away from one another?

Asked by Aubs427 (302 points ) November 23rd, 2010 from iPhone

When you fall asleep together; is it normal to sleep away from each other sometimes (i.e. On your sides faced away from each other) or just faced away in general? And, is it normal for couples to not always fall asleep in each others arms?

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27 Answers

Seelix's avatar

Absolutely. We’ve been living together for 6 years and, though we were often snuggly at bedtime in the beginning, most of the time now we just find whatever position is most comfortable (I sometimes have trouble falling asleep) and go with that. Sometimes it’s snugglish, sometimes not.

marinelife's avatar

I would say it is the norm for couples to not sleep in each other’s arms.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I’m not sure there is a “normal.”

My husband and I sleep facing opposite directions all the time, we always have. We both like our space in bed. We also have a happy marriage.

john65pennington's avatar

Hey, anything goes as long as you two are under one roof and love each other. if i slept in a sleeping bag, out in my den, my wife would still love me just the same. i have done this before with a migraine headache.

Loving someone is not about the distance or manner of sleeping together at night. its about the love connection you two have with each other. love is like a long distance phone call that never ends.

You two are connected forever, no matter what.

iamthemob's avatar

Yeah, it’s often a mix. Sometimes, when I’m tired, I’m just like – “Dude, you’re nose breath is all over the back of my neck – you need to turn over.” :-)

Jude's avatar

We start off in each others arms, then separate through the night (I can’t sleep with someone on top of me nor holding me there). I love to be touching her somehow, though. And the same goes for her. I usually end up cupping her ass with my hand. That’s how we sleep.

Cruiser's avatar

Just put velcro on the front and back of each others pajammies and you will always wake up spooning. A little numb on one side but you will be snuggled together!

ParaParaYukiko's avatar

Sleeping all intertwined sounds romantic, but it’s not always particularly comfortable – especially when it’s hot out! My boyfriend and I often end up sleeping with our backs to each other, just because that happens to be the most comfortable position for the two of us. My sister and her boyfriend, however, manage to sleep in each others’ arms all the time. They also shared a thin college mattress together for some time, so that may have something to do with it…

It’s just a comfort thing. It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with how close your relationship is.

ucme's avatar

Rumpy pumpy, fart, roll over & sleep. I need my stretching space. Exclusion zone around me while I sleep. We’re both good with that :¬)

jonsblond's avatar

My only rule when going to bed is to not go to bed angry. Just give each other a kiss and do what makes you most comfortable.

Aubs427's avatar

What about after waking up when going to work or just out? Do couples always kiss each other goodbye?

Blackberry's avatar

Of course it’s normal. An yes it’s normal for couples not to kiss all the time. Relationships always get a little boring. That’s just how it goes.

jonsblond's avatar

@Aubs427 My husband gives everyone in our house a kiss in the morning before he heads off to work. It’s very sweet. :)

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I sleep right on top of him like a naked comforter. ;)

wenwen's avatar

It would be nice to sleep cuddling , but generally we don’t. Sometimes we will go to sleep cuddled up, but it never lasts, as one of us will start rolling in to a more comfortable position or get too hot or something. It’s about comfort not anything else really.
I think in a new relationship it seems imperative to be attached, but after 10 years together it seems to be less important. Although if my husband were to ask to cuddle me & sleep that way every night I would be secretly thrilled!

wenwen's avatar

About the kissing before leaving for work, well, if you have always done it in the past & it stops happening I would give that some consideration.
If you have never kissed before leaving , then thats just your rhythm as a couple. Every couple has their own way of doing things.
There is no right or wrong.

Jude's avatar

We don’t live together, but, sometimes I’ll stay over on a Sunday night and have to get up at the ass crack of dawn, Monday to go to work. I live in Ontario and she lives in Michigan. I have to get up really early to cross the Bluewater Bridge. Anyhow, when it’s time to leave, my girlfriend is still in bed. I go in there to say goodbye (she wakes up) and I lean down and give her a big kiss on the lips—even with her morning poop breath, haha! she’d kill me!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

First we snuggle in each other’s arms for some time, then I go on my tummy and he goes on my back to sleep. I don’t think there is a ‘normal’ way for couples to sleep. It all depends.

deni's avatar

of course. its not always the most comfortable.

El_Cadejo's avatar

We usually fall asleep cuddling with each other but pretty much always through out the night shift and such and end up on other sides of the bed

Neizvestnaya's avatar

He likes to sleep with me snuggled up behind him, arm around. I like this too because I can roll back if I get too warm. He’s almost twice my size so as much as I like him snuggled up behind and around me, his arm is heavy and if he put a leg up over mine then I have bad dreams. If it were comfy then he’d have me sleep on top of his chest but the top of my head hairs bug his nose and his chest hairs bug mine. Love is grand though.

Supacase's avatar

Normal is whatever is comfortable for the couple. I have found that if my husband and I change sides of the bed, I eventually change the side I sleep on to whichever direction is away from him. I think I like breathing my own air, being able to move my arms and generally not feeling crowded. I usually scoot all the way back until my back is touching him, though.

deni's avatar

@Supacase agreed. I like sleeping butt to butt. It’s cozy and makes me happy.

YARNLADY's avatar

The sleeping part is whatever is most comfortable.

john65pennington's avatar

Lucy, i am shocked at your answer. jp

shoebox's avatar

Its very normal! :)

bellaxx's avatar

I noticed that i feel very lonely or detached if theres not some type of touching or closeness. Once i fall asleep I’m fine. There have been many occasions ive woken up in the midde of the night upset he was so far so ill spoon until i fall back asleep. Im just a very touchy person it makes me feel loved and good!

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