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Brian1946's avatar

What would be some titles for a really thin book?

Asked by Brian1946 (19213 points ) December 29th, 2010

An example of this would be a book concerning a subject about which the the author had very little knowledge or experience.

Another example would be where the opinions of the author were based on very little moral authority, such as, “Why Husbands Should be Faithful to Their Wives”, by Newt Gingrich or John Edwards.

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142 Answers

marinelife's avatar

What Men Know About Women

wundayatta's avatar

What Women Know About Men

marinelife's avatar

@wundayatta I disagree. That would be a really thick book.

wundayatta's avatar

@marinelife Quod Erat Demonstratum

That book is entitled, “What Women Think They Know About Men…” a book with as many words as the OED and with about as much sense as “Horton Hears a Who.”

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

What People Know About The Food They Eat.

ucme's avatar

Dan Quayle : A Lifetimes Achievment.
Bitches i’ve Banged : His holiness the Pope.

flutherother's avatar

The Bible for Fundamentalists.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Bambi versus Godzilla.

ucme's avatar

A Hop Skip & a Jump…..a tale of boundless athleticism by Stephen Hawking
Where I See Myself a Year From Now : Mickey Rooney

everephebe's avatar

Scientific facts on Aliens, Crop Circles, Bigfoot, Area 51, Atlantis, the Assassination of JFK, and the provable existence of God.

everephebe's avatar

A cookbook, for fashion models.

ucme's avatar

Stevie Wonder at the Firing Range….How he couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo.
Adolf My Secret Lover by Mel Gibson

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

That Which Does Not Exist-by Tooth Fairy Ghost wriiten by Caspar ;)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Oh my god, some of this stuff is so wrong and I can’t stop laughing, favorite new question!

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Sexual Acts I Haven’t Tried by Simone

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Who Knows Jack Shit? by Sherlock “No shit” Holmes ;)

ucme's avatar

A Sexual Goddess by Mother Theresa
Childcare : An Experts Guide by Peter File

Kardamom's avatar

The Things I Didn’t Eat (confessions of a buffet-o-holic).

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Why I don’t wear glasses by Vincent Van Gogh

ucme's avatar

Osama Bin Laden Sings the Blues : Oh Mr. Taliban gimme a banana…....daylight cum & I wanna go home XD

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Effective Child Care by John Wayne Gacy

diavolobella's avatar

Child Free For Me by Angelina Jolie
Better Golfing Through Celibacy by Tiger Woods
Maintaining a Low Profile by Kim Kardashian
Natural Beauty by Joan Rivers

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Care and Maintenance for Dogs by Michael Vick

diavolobella's avatar

Why I Love Everybody by Adolf Hitler
Crack is Wack by Whitney Houston
Natural Beauty: the Sequel by Mickey Rourke

MissAnthrope's avatar

Jobs for History Majors
(replace “history” with Liberal Arts or Philosophy)

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Graceful Exits by Brett Farve
@MissAnthrope And it’s companion book, You Want Fries With That, by the same group.

Kardamom's avatar

My Favorite Meats (A Vegetarian Guide)

diavolobella's avatar

Telephone Etiquette by Mel Gibson
Ladylike Behavior by the stars of Two Girls One Cup
Guide to Safe Prescription Drug Usage by Elvis Presley and Anna Nicole Smith

diavolobella's avatar

I keep thinking of some realllllllly bad ones, but I’m afraid I’ll be forever shunned, so don’t read below if you are easily offended:

Success with Experimental Aircraft by John Denver
Skiing by Sonny Bono
Monogamy Made Easy by Hugh Hefner

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

The Life and Times of a Major League Pitcher by Stephen Strasburg

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Who’s Your Daddy? by George Foreman
Aghhhhhhghhghhugh by Monica Lewinsky

diavolobella's avatar

Get Your Hands Off Me, You Damn Dirty Ape by Jane Goodall
Did You Hear That? by Helen Keller
Overcoming Shyness by Kanye West

Kardamom's avatar

Cooking Without Butter (by Paula Deen)

Cooking Without EVOO (by Rachel Ray)

Cooking Without Bam (by Emeril Lagasse)

Cooking It All From Scratch (by Sandra Lee)

Cooking Without You My Love (by the Neeley’s)

Cooking With Common Ingredients (by the Chef’s on Iron Chef)

A Guide to Eating in Diners, Drive-ins and Dives that don’t serve Barbecue (by Guy Fieri)

Dutchess_III's avatar

The number of times my husband has apologized to me!

Austinlad's avatar

“The Secret to Canine Discipline” by Michael Vick.

Brian1946's avatar

@Kardamom

What’s EVOO?

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

No If’s,Ands or Butts-by Kim Kardasian

diavolobella's avatar

Richard Gere’s Little Book of Hamster Care
Modesty by Madonna
1001 Hot Sex Positions by Queen Elizabeth II

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Kardamom Watch the Food Channel much?:)

Austinlad's avatar

“What I Know and Learned About Iraqi Customs, Politics and Religion” by George W. Bush

Kardamom's avatar

@Brian1946 Rachel Ray calls Extra Virgin Olive Oil EVOO and she says the letters. I love her cooking show, but she uses EVOO all the time, so she is constantly saying it, instead of just calling it extra virgin olive oil.

Brian1946's avatar

“My History of Support for Animal Rights and News Publications That I’ve Read” by Sarah Palin.

She had to “write” a book about two different topics so that she could fill up the whole page. :-p

Kardamom's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe I don’t look at sports or porn, so this is my vice ;-)

diavolobella's avatar

More tacky ones

Pat the Stingray by Steve Irwin
Respecting Women by O.J. Simpson

flutherother's avatar

Gun Safety by Richard Cheney

Dutchess_III's avatar

‘My Entire Knowledge of Everything’ by Sarah Palin.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Manners and Class by Andrew Dice Clay

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

How to Feed a Nation by Kim Il Sung and family

ucme's avatar

My Tour of Vietnam by George W Bush a true american hero.

MissAnthrope's avatar

Oh my lands, you guys are so funny!

MissAnthrope's avatar

‘My Big Book of Vocabulary’ by G.W. Bush
‘How to Be a Self-Made Man’ by G.W. Bush

flutherother's avatar

The Ethics of Government by G Bush and D Cheney (joint authors)

diavolobella's avatar

(Sorry, having server issues)

Austinlad's avatar

Self edited

diavolobella's avatar

Peaceful Existence for All Mankind by Muammar al-Gaddafi
I Will Kick Your Ass Mofo by Mohandas K. Gandhi
A Solitary Life – Living Out of the Public Eye by Paris Hilton
Why Poor People are Disgusting by Mother Theresa
Butchness – I Has It by Richard Simmons

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@diavolobella Butchness – I Has It by Richard Simmons – bwahhahhaa

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Successful Dieting by Mario Batali

ucme's avatar

I Can’t Keep a Straight Face : An autobiogaphy by Joan Rivers/Michael Jackson….etc etc….

Kardamom's avatar

A Short History of Evolution (by the Fundamentalist Creationists)

Stuff We Know (by George Bush and Sarah Palin)

A Long List of Gay and/or Female United States Presidents since 1789

Reasons to Respect Mel Gibson (by the curators at the Museum of Tolerance)

Why I Love Mature Women (by Hugh Hefner)

My Bout With Temperance (by Charlie Sheen)

My Quest for Innocence (by Linsay Lohan)

Of All The Pot I Haven’t Smoked (by Willie Nelson, but read aloud on books on tape by Miley Cyrus)

flutherother's avatar

My Love Affair with Hitler by Sir Winston Churchill

diavolobella's avatar

The Tasty Animal Cookbook by PETA
Steaks Are For Douches by The Cattlemen’s Beef Board
Germs? What Germs? by “Typhoid Mary” Mallon
My Native American Brothers by George A. Custer

Austinlad's avatar

Who Needs Friends or Relatives in High Places
When You’ve Got Smarts?
by George Bush

ucme's avatar

1001 Interesting Facts About Peanuts by Jimmy Carter

diavolobella's avatar

How To Be A Chick Magnet by Ted Bundy

MissAnthrope's avatar

‘The Contents of my Underwear Drawer’ by Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan
‘How to Kick Substances for Good’ by Amy Winehouse

diavolobella's avatar

Hey! Look Out For That…. – by the Unsinkable Molly Brown

flutherother's avatar

A Guide to Etiquette by Charles Manson

ucme's avatar

Heads You Lose, Tails I Win by Jeffrey Dahmer

Austinlad's avatar

The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth:
The Story of Fox News

Brian1946's avatar

“Why We Always Call Before We Visit and Why We Always Knock On a Door Before Entering” by Cosmo Kramer and Steve Urkel.

flutherother's avatar

Black and Proud by Michael Jackson
Diplomatic Language by Richard Milhous Nixon

flutherother's avatar

The Limits of Power by Benjamin Netanyahu

janbb's avatar

My Unexamined LIfe by janbb

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Things We Agree On by Nullo and Simone

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

How Not To Stir Up Controversy Over Diet by janbb

ucme's avatar

Unforgettable that’s what you ar…......Alzheimers : A case study.

janbb's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe That’s what makes it such a great question!

Kardamom's avatar

@Austinlad ‘s book of Best Titles for Slim Books will be the funniest and longest book ever. Great job so far!

janbb's avatar

Existential Philosophy Books I Have Read by Paris Hilton

diavolobella's avatar

Delicious Meals for 2, 4 or More by The Donner Party

janbb's avatar

The Bunny and Jellyfish Kama Sutra by @diavolobella

diavolobella's avatar

@janbb LOL!! Dr. Jelly and the Bunny’s love for one another is more cerebral than physical, so I fear you are right.

Dutchess_III's avatar

When is a cigar not a cigar by Bill Clinton. Wait..that doesn’t fit the criteria, does it. Dude knows the many uses of a cigar!

diavolobella's avatar

@Dutchess_III How about Why Drycleaning Is Important by Bill Clinton.

janbb's avatar

@diavolobella That might be a long book!

filmfann's avatar

The Wit And Wisdom of Dick Cheney

Life After 40 by John Lennon

Fun and Healthy things to do with a Web Cam

Great Movies I Have Made by Michael Bay

JeanPaulSartre's avatar

Things That Are Cold by Paris Hilton
Coal Is Sexy by Greenpeace
Fish Are Delish! by Sea Shepherd
Painting With Poo by Monk

chocolatechip's avatar

Accomplishing Life Goals: A Procrastinator’s Gui

flutherother's avatar

Growing Old with Dignity by Hugh Hefner

Cruiser's avatar

My qualifications to be President by Sarah Palin.

diavolobella's avatar

Professional Business Attire by Elton John
How to Care for your Pet Bat by Ozzy Osbourne
How To Live Frugally by Candy Spelling
Natural Beauty: Part III by Heidi Montag
You Ain’t Woman Enough To Take My Man by Jennifer Aniston
Child Free For Me, the sequel by Octomom
Birth Control for Better Living by Michelle Duggar

Dutchess_III's avatar

My qualifications to be a doorbell by Sarah Palin (O, wait. That would fill an encyclopedia)

Cruiser's avatar

My favorite Democrats by Cruiser! ;)

diavolobella's avatar

Free Yourself from Organized Religion by Tom Cruise
Making Marriage Work by Elizabeth Taylor
Subtle Cosmetic Application by Liza Minelli
Healthy Dieting by Karen Carpenter (harsh, I know)

ucme's avatar

My African Ancestory by The Ku Klux Klan
Pornographic Intent : Legs Akimbo by Mary Poppins
Playing in the Park by George Michael

diavolobella's avatar

@ucme Okay, I have to take the Disney thing and run with it now.

Seven Nights Inside Snow by the Dwarfs
You Can Hunt! by Bambi
Fighting Insomnia by Sleeping Beauty
Memories by Dorry

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Janet Reno’s Big Book of Beauty
Jennifer Lopez’s Big Book of Booty
Imelda Marco’s Big Book of Booties
Pam Anderson’s Big Boobie Book
How to Get Dates and Get Booty by Blackbeard

Brian1946's avatar

A Collection of My Intelligible Statements by Donald Duck.
A Comprehensive Essay on the Shoes that I’ve Worn by The Little Mermaid.

ucme's avatar

@diavolobella Knock yourself out :¬)

My Greatest Roles : A mastercraft in acting by Keanu Reeves
Seabiscuit & Me : A love story by Sarah Jessica Parker
The Child Inside Me..yeah baby yeah! by Michael Jackson

Dutchess_III's avatar

@ucme—you forgot MJ’s “Hoo hoo!’

White Like Me by Malcolm X.

ucme's avatar

@Dutchess_III Chamone mo fo! XD

diavolobella's avatar

Flight Navigation by Amelia Earhart
Sexy Hair by Donald Trump and Kate Gosselin
How To Achieve Emotional Stability by Janice Dickinson
Maintaining Privacy in Your Relationships by David Arquette
Common Decency by Howard Stern
Throat and Vocal Chord Care by Linda Lovelace
Proper Clothing Choices by Coco

Kardamom's avatar

Subtlety (by Lady Gaga)

My Zen Guide to Cooking (by Gordon Ramsay)

A Book of Common Children’s Names (by Sarah and Bristol Palin)

Women in Comfortable Shoes (by the Kardashians)

Plastic Surgery Success Stories (by Kenny Rogers, Wayne Newton and Bruce Jenner)

ucme's avatar

Hitler’s Bar Mitzvah : Long summer by Nazi Muffin

Cruiser's avatar

“How to make friends and influence people” by Wiki Leaks founder, Julian Assange

Dutchess_III's avatar

How to Steal Money Without Getting Caught by Bernie Madeoff.

Cruiser's avatar

I found a list of celebrity best sellers…

“Mans best friend” by Michael Vick
“I only had one beer Officer” By David Cassidy
“Glamor mug shots” by Nick Nolte
“Sexting for Dummies” Brett Farve

ucme's avatar

Rope a Dope by Saddam Hussein
Homeless Santa : The wilderness years by O.B Laden

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Manscaping 101 by Robin Williams
What I Nose-An Autobiography by Barbara Streisand
Next! by Liz Taylor

ucme's avatar

My Momma Done Told Me by Norman Bates

Kardamom's avatar

Stuff I Wouldn’t Touch with a Ten Foot Pole (by Andrew Zimmern and Anthony Bourdain)

Your House is Perfect (by Mike Holmes from Holmes on Homes)

How to Make Everybody Happy All of the Time without Spending a Dime or by Making any Changes (by President Obama)

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Penis Enlargement or The Tricks to a Larger Johnson by John C Holmes

Brian1946's avatar

How to be Humble and Treat People Fairly by Donald Trump.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

How to Get a Hole in One by Tiger Woods
Keep Your Chin Up-Jay Leno
Don’t Pick up the Handcrafted Soap! by Martha Stewart

ucme's avatar

Shooting the Breeze by The Washington Sniper I’m sorry, no really I am :¬(

Cruiser's avatar

“Anger Management for Rehab” by Lindsey Lohan – Forward by Mel Gibson

ucme's avatar

Great Songs I’ve Sung by Celine “Bloody” Dion

janbb's avatar

What I Love about Jews by Mel Gibson
Getting and Keeping your Love by Mel Gibson
Phone Ettiquette by Alec Baldwin

janbb's avatar

How to Get Things Done by Congress

MissAnthrope's avatar

‘Living a Healthy, Committed Lesbian Life’ by Anne Heche

Cruiser's avatar

“How to Schmooze the Paparazzi” by Nicolas Cage
“Dress for Success in the Board Room” by Lady Gaga
“Celebrity Tax Break Secrets” by Wesley Snipes

diavolobella's avatar

True Love Ways by Jesse James
Dating Elegant Ladies by Jesse James
Honor Your Wife by Jesse James
How To Trade Up In Your Relationships by Jesse James

diavolobella's avatar

Skinny Jeans by M.C. Hammer
Singing by Milli Vanilli
Preventing Skin Cancer by the cast of Jersey Shore
Writing Original Songs by Sean “P-Diddy” Combs
Humility and Politeness by Kanye West

MissAnthrope's avatar

‘Powerful Hairstyles for Powerful Businessmen’ by Donald Trump

diavolobella's avatar

Sportsmanship by Mike Tyson
Natural Beauty, the final word by Jocelyn Wildenstein
Tigers Make Great Pets by Siegfried and Roy
Population Control by Jim Bob Duggar
Butch Life by Liberace

Brian1946's avatar

How to Get a Woman to Stay Overnight without Using a Gun by Phil Spector.

Cruiser's avatar

“Everything I Know” By Britney Spears
“Lighting Basics for Home Movies” by Paris Hilton

Brian1946's avatar

Developing Loyalty by Encouraging Free Will by Charlie “Chuckles” Manson.

Brian1946's avatar

A Sober Approach to Maintaining a Healthy Relationship by “Lucky” Chucky Sheen.

ucme's avatar

The Shit They Pull : A day in the life of a dung beetle by Seymour Droppings

Dutchess_III's avatar

How to clean your house By the Crazy Cat Lady with 57indoor house cats.

Kardamom's avatar

50 ways to Leave Your Lover in 1 Easy Step

flutherother's avatar

The Miracle of Water by W C Fields

JilltheTooth's avatar

Damn. My mother just had to have brain surgery when this Q appeared! If I’d known I would’ve stayed home Fluthering!

AmWiser's avatar

This question is exactly why the Community Feed should go back to showing GA’s & GQ’s
@Brian1946 GQ (even though I’m maxed out on you:D)

MissAnthrope's avatar

@AmWiser – Agreed.. I miss seeing where the action is!

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Using Wire Hangers by Joan Crawford

Symbeline's avatar

Tales for Lobotomy Patients.

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