What would be some titles for a really thin book?
Asked by
Brian1946 (
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)
December 29th, 2010
An example of this would be a book concerning a subject about which the the author had very little knowledge or experience.
Another example would be where the opinions of the author were based on very little moral authority, such as, “Why Husbands Should be Faithful to Their Wives”, by Newt Gingrich or John Edwards.
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142 Answers
What Men Know About Women
What Women Know About Men
@wundayatta I disagree. That would be a really thick book.
@marinelife Quod Erat Demonstratum
That book is entitled, “What Women Think They Know About Men…” a book with as many words as the OED and with about as much sense as “Horton Hears a Who.”
What People Know About The Food They Eat.
Dan Quayle : A Lifetimes Achievment.
Bitches i’ve Banged : His holiness the Pope.
The Bible for Fundamentalists.
A Hop Skip & a Jump…..a tale of boundless athleticism by Stephen Hawking
Where I See Myself a Year From Now : Mickey Rooney
Scientific facts on Aliens, Crop Circles, Bigfoot, Area 51, Atlantis, the Assassination of JFK, and the provable existence of God.
A cookbook, for fashion models.
Stevie Wonder at the Firing Range….How he couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo.
Adolf My Secret Lover by Mel Gibson
That Which Does Not Exist-by Tooth Fairy Ghost wriiten by Caspar ;)
Oh my god, some of this stuff is so wrong and I can’t stop laughing, favorite new question!
Sexual Acts I Haven’t Tried by Simone
Who Knows Jack Shit? by Sherlock “No shit” Holmes ;)
A Sexual Goddess by Mother Theresa
Childcare : An Experts Guide by Peter File
The Things I Didn’t Eat (confessions of a buffet-o-holic).
Why I don’t wear glasses by Vincent Van Gogh
Osama Bin Laden Sings the Blues : Oh Mr. Taliban gimme a banana…....daylight cum & I wanna go home XD
Effective Child Care by John Wayne Gacy
Child Free For Me by Angelina Jolie
Better Golfing Through Celibacy by Tiger Woods
Maintaining a Low Profile by Kim Kardashian
Natural Beauty by Joan Rivers
Care and Maintenance for Dogs by Michael Vick
Why I Love Everybody by Adolf Hitler
Crack is Wack by Whitney Houston
Natural Beauty: the Sequel by Mickey Rourke
Jobs for History Majors
(replace “history” with Liberal Arts or Philosophy)
Graceful Exits by Brett Farve
@MissAnthrope And it’s companion book, You Want Fries With That, by the same group.
My Favorite Meats (A Vegetarian Guide)
Telephone Etiquette by Mel Gibson
Ladylike Behavior by the stars of Two Girls One Cup
Guide to Safe Prescription Drug Usage by Elvis Presley and Anna Nicole Smith
I keep thinking of some realllllllly bad ones, but I’m afraid I’ll be forever shunned, so don’t read below if you are easily offended:
Success with Experimental Aircraft by John Denver
Skiing by Sonny Bono
Monogamy Made Easy by Hugh Hefner
The Life and Times of a Major League Pitcher by Stephen Strasburg
Who’s Your Daddy? by George Foreman
Aghhhhhhghhghhugh by Monica Lewinsky
Get Your Hands Off Me, You Damn Dirty Ape by Jane Goodall
Did You Hear That? by Helen Keller
Overcoming Shyness by Kanye West
Cooking Without Butter (by Paula Deen)
Cooking Without EVOO (by Rachel Ray)
Cooking Without Bam (by Emeril Lagasse)
Cooking It All From Scratch (by Sandra Lee)
Cooking Without You My Love (by the Neeley’s)
Cooking With Common Ingredients (by the Chef’s on Iron Chef)
A Guide to Eating in Diners, Drive-ins and Dives that don’t serve Barbecue (by Guy Fieri)
The number of times my husband has apologized to me!
“The Secret to Canine Discipline” by Michael Vick.
No If’s,Ands or Butts-by Kim Kardasian
Richard Gere’s Little Book of Hamster Care
Modesty by Madonna
1001 Hot Sex Positions by Queen Elizabeth II
“What I Know and Learned About Iraqi Customs, Politics and Religion” by George W. Bush
@Brian1946 Rachel Ray calls Extra Virgin Olive Oil EVOO and she says the letters. I love her cooking show, but she uses EVOO all the time, so she is constantly saying it, instead of just calling it extra virgin olive oil.
“My History of Support for Animal Rights and News Publications That I’ve Read” by Sarah Palin.
She had to “write” a book about two different topics so that she could fill up the whole page. :-p
More tacky ones
Pat the Stingray by Steve Irwin
Respecting Women by O.J. Simpson
Gun Safety by Richard Cheney
‘My Entire Knowledge of Everything’ by Sarah Palin.
Manners and Class by Andrew Dice Clay
How to Feed a Nation by Kim Il Sung and family
My Tour of Vietnam by George W Bush a true american hero.
Oh my lands, you guys are so funny!
‘My Big Book of Vocabulary’ by G.W. Bush
‘How to Be a Self-Made Man’ by G.W. Bush
The Ethics of Government by G Bush and D Cheney (joint authors)
(Sorry, having server issues)
Peaceful Existence for All Mankind by Muammar al-Gaddafi
I Will Kick Your Ass Mofo by Mohandas K. Gandhi
A Solitary Life – Living Out of the Public Eye by Paris Hilton
Why Poor People are Disgusting by Mother Theresa
Butchness – I Has It by Richard Simmons
@diavolobella Butchness – I Has It by Richard Simmons – bwahhahhaa
Successful Dieting by Mario Batali
I Can’t Keep a Straight Face : An autobiogaphy by Joan Rivers/Michael Jackson….etc etc….
A Short History of Evolution (by the Fundamentalist Creationists)
Stuff We Know (by George Bush and Sarah Palin)
A Long List of Gay and/or Female United States Presidents since 1789
Reasons to Respect Mel Gibson (by the curators at the Museum of Tolerance)
Why I Love Mature Women (by Hugh Hefner)
My Bout With Temperance (by Charlie Sheen)
My Quest for Innocence (by Linsay Lohan)
Of All The Pot I Haven’t Smoked (by Willie Nelson, but read aloud on books on tape by Miley Cyrus)
My Love Affair with Hitler by Sir Winston Churchill
The Tasty Animal Cookbook by PETA
Steaks Are For Douches by The Cattlemen’s Beef Board
Germs? What Germs? by “Typhoid Mary” Mallon
My Native American Brothers by George A. Custer
Who Needs Friends or Relatives in High Places
When You’ve Got Smarts?
by George Bush
1001 Interesting Facts About Peanuts by Jimmy Carter
How To Be A Chick Magnet by Ted Bundy
‘The Contents of my Underwear Drawer’ by Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan
‘How to Kick Substances for Good’ by Amy Winehouse
Hey! Look Out For That…. – by the Unsinkable Molly Brown
A Guide to Etiquette by Charles Manson
Heads You Lose, Tails I Win by Jeffrey Dahmer
The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth:
The Story of Fox News
“Why We Always Call Before We Visit and Why We Always Knock On a Door Before Entering” by Cosmo Kramer and Steve Urkel.
Black and Proud by Michael Jackson
Diplomatic Language by Richard Milhous Nixon
The Limits of Power by Benjamin Netanyahu
My Unexamined LIfe by janbb
Things We Agree On by Nullo and Simone
How Not To Stir Up Controversy Over Diet by janbb
Unforgettable that’s what you ar…......Alzheimers : A case study.
@Austinlad ‘s book of Best Titles for Slim Books will be the funniest and longest book ever. Great job so far!
Existential Philosophy Books I Have Read by Paris Hilton
Delicious Meals for 2, 4 or More by The Donner Party
@janbb LOL!! Dr. Jelly and the Bunny’s love for one another is more cerebral than physical, so I fear you are right.
When is a cigar not a cigar by Bill Clinton. Wait..that doesn’t fit the criteria, does it. Dude knows the many uses of a cigar!
@Dutchess_III How about Why Drycleaning Is Important by Bill Clinton.
The Wit And Wisdom of Dick Cheney
Life After 40 by John Lennon
Fun and Healthy things to do with a Web Cam
Great Movies I Have Made by Michael Bay
Things That Are Cold by Paris Hilton
Coal Is Sexy by Greenpeace
Fish Are Delish! by Sea Shepherd
Painting With Poo by Monk
Accomplishing Life Goals: A Procrastinator’s Gui
Growing Old with Dignity by Hugh Hefner
My qualifications to be President by Sarah Palin.
Professional Business Attire by Elton John
How to Care for your Pet Bat by Ozzy Osbourne
How To Live Frugally by Candy Spelling
Natural Beauty: Part III by Heidi Montag
You Ain’t Woman Enough To Take My Man by Jennifer Aniston
Child Free For Me, the sequel by Octomom
Birth Control for Better Living by Michelle Duggar
My qualifications to be a doorbell by Sarah Palin (O, wait. That would fill an encyclopedia)
My favorite Democrats by Cruiser! ;)
Free Yourself from Organized Religion by Tom Cruise
Making Marriage Work by Elizabeth Taylor
Subtle Cosmetic Application by Liza Minelli
Healthy Dieting by Karen Carpenter (harsh, I know)
My African Ancestory by The Ku Klux Klan
Pornographic Intent : Legs Akimbo by Mary Poppins
Playing in the Park by George Michael
@ucme Okay, I have to take the Disney thing and run with it now.
Seven Nights Inside Snow by the Dwarfs
You Can Hunt! by Bambi
Fighting Insomnia by Sleeping Beauty
Memories by Dorry
Janet Reno’s Big Book of Beauty
Jennifer Lopez’s Big Book of Booty
Imelda Marco’s Big Book of Booties
Pam Anderson’s Big Boobie Book
How to Get Dates and Get Booty by Blackbeard
A Collection of My Intelligible Statements by Donald Duck.
A Comprehensive Essay on the Shoes that I’ve Worn by The Little Mermaid.
@diavolobella Knock yourself out :¬)
My Greatest Roles : A mastercraft in acting by Keanu Reeves
Seabiscuit & Me : A love story by Sarah Jessica Parker
The Child Inside Me..yeah baby yeah! by Michael Jackson
@ucme—you forgot MJ’s “Hoo hoo!’
White Like Me by Malcolm X.
Flight Navigation by Amelia Earhart
Sexy Hair by Donald Trump and Kate Gosselin
How To Achieve Emotional Stability by Janice Dickinson
Maintaining Privacy in Your Relationships by David Arquette
Common Decency by Howard Stern
Throat and Vocal Chord Care by Linda Lovelace
Proper Clothing Choices by Coco
Subtlety (by Lady Gaga)
My Zen Guide to Cooking (by Gordon Ramsay)
A Book of Common Children’s Names (by Sarah and Bristol Palin)
Women in Comfortable Shoes (by the Kardashians)
Plastic Surgery Success Stories (by Kenny Rogers, Wayne Newton and Bruce Jenner)
Hitler’s Bar Mitzvah : Long summer by Nazi Muffin
“How to make friends and influence people” by Wiki Leaks founder, Julian Assange
How to Steal Money Without Getting Caught by Bernie Madeoff.
I found a list of celebrity best sellers…
“Mans best friend” by Michael Vick
“I only had one beer Officer” By David Cassidy
“Glamor mug shots” by Nick Nolte
“Sexting for Dummies” Brett Farve
Rope a Dope by Saddam Hussein
Homeless Santa : The wilderness years by O.B Laden
Manscaping 101 by Robin Williams
What I Nose-An Autobiography by Barbara Streisand
Next! by Liz Taylor
My Momma Done Told Me by Norman Bates
Stuff I Wouldn’t Touch with a Ten Foot Pole (by Andrew Zimmern and Anthony Bourdain)
Your House is Perfect (by Mike Holmes from Holmes on Homes)
How to Make Everybody Happy All of the Time without Spending a Dime or by Making any Changes (by President Obama)
Penis Enlargement or The Tricks to a Larger Johnson by John C Holmes
How to be Humble and Treat People Fairly by Donald Trump.
How to Get a Hole in One by Tiger Woods
Keep Your Chin Up-Jay Leno
Don’t Pick up the Handcrafted Soap! by Martha Stewart
Shooting the Breeze by The Washington Sniper I’m sorry, no really I am :¬(
“Anger Management for Rehab” by Lindsey Lohan – Forward by Mel Gibson
Great Songs I’ve Sung by Celine “Bloody” Dion
What I Love about Jews by Mel Gibson
Getting and Keeping your Love by Mel Gibson
Phone Ettiquette by Alec Baldwin
How to Get Things Done by Congress
‘Living a Healthy, Committed Lesbian Life’ by Anne Heche
“How to Schmooze the Paparazzi” by Nicolas Cage
“Dress for Success in the Board Room” by Lady Gaga
“Celebrity Tax Break Secrets” by Wesley Snipes
True Love Ways by Jesse James
Dating Elegant Ladies by Jesse James
Honor Your Wife by Jesse James
How To Trade Up In Your Relationships by Jesse James
Skinny Jeans by M.C. Hammer
Singing by Milli Vanilli
Preventing Skin Cancer by the cast of Jersey Shore
Writing Original Songs by Sean “P-Diddy” Combs
Humility and Politeness by Kanye West
‘Powerful Hairstyles for Powerful Businessmen’ by Donald Trump
Sportsmanship by Mike Tyson
Natural Beauty, the final word by Jocelyn Wildenstein
Tigers Make Great Pets by Siegfried and Roy
Population Control by Jim Bob Duggar
Butch Life by Liberace
How to Get a Woman to Stay Overnight without Using a Gun by Phil Spector.
“Everything I Know” By Britney Spears
“Lighting Basics for Home Movies” by Paris Hilton
Developing Loyalty by Encouraging Free Will by Charlie “Chuckles” Manson.
A Sober Approach to Maintaining a Healthy Relationship by “Lucky” Chucky Sheen.
The Shit They Pull : A day in the life of a dung beetle by Seymour Droppings
How to clean your house By the Crazy Cat Lady with 57indoor house cats.
50 ways to Leave Your Lover in 1 Easy Step
The Miracle of Water by W C Fields
Damn. My mother just had to have brain surgery when this Q appeared! If I’d known I would’ve stayed home Fluthering!
This question is exactly why the Community Feed should go back to showing GA’s & GQ’s
@Brian1946 GQ (even though I’m maxed out on you:D)
@AmWiser – Agreed.. I miss seeing where the action is!
Using Wire Hangers by Joan Crawford
Tales for Lobotomy Patients.
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