General Question

nikipedia's avatar

How old were you when your parents stopped supporting you?

Asked by nikipedia (27333 points ) April 15th, 2008

Did they gradually reduce how much they helped you, or set a date by which you were on your own? What do you plan to do for your kids?

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31 Answers

nikipedia's avatar

To clarify—I meant financially! Hopefully in all other regards the answer is “never”!

jz1220's avatar

My parents have made it clear that as soon as each of their kids finish school (whatever level of schooling they want to pursue), they’d be done supporting them. For my sister, that’s going to be when she’s 30 years old and done with getting her doctorate. For me, that’s 22 years old and done with my bachelors.

adrianscott's avatar

While I was living with my parents they would cover the necessities such as most food, shelter, etc. After I started earning an allowance (by actually performing jobs around the house and at my Dad’s store) I was charged with buying my own clothing and other stuff that is less ‘required’.

When I moved out of my parent’s place at 17 I was completely on my own and didn’t receive any financial support from them, nor did I really want to ask for any. I think forcing me to be independent made me really strive to continue living that way and to make sure I can make it on my own. Yes, I got my University degree based on student loans, but who really doesn’t these days anyway.

I’ll probably do the exact same thing as my parents did for me and make my children work for what they get.

Hollister0221's avatar

I personally think kids today mooch way too much off there parents. Get out the house get a job work hard and study and appreciate all that you have accomplished on your own.

Hollister0221's avatar

good for you adrianscott.

cwilbur's avatar

My parents supported me completely through my undergraduate degree, and then helped me out somewhat through graduate school, to the tune of about $2K-$3K/year. Recently, I’ve been helping to support them (sending a couple hundred dollars their way each month, as they’re retired and on mostly-fixed incomes). They’re reasonably well set-up for retirement, though—the house is paid off, and their income covers their expenses—my money just means that they get to live in a little more luxury than they otherwise would.

They made it pretty clear to me that, while they didn’t mind supporting me through college, it was the rough equivalent of spending my inheritance. I didn’t mind, and still don’t—by the time they get around to leaving me an inheritance, I don’t think I’ll need it, but getting me that education then is part of what put me in the (relatively stable and prosperous) situation I’m in now.

shockvalue's avatar

My dad had a stroke three years ago, so he lost his job and the government decided they didn’t feel like giving us any disability. So actually I’ve been supporting my parents since then. I moved out just before my 18th birthday so they wouldn’t have to worry about feeding me. At the moment I am not able to send them any money (college fees are egregious) but I have helped them create a strong financial plan to facilitate the stress. My mother works for the City of Berkeley, so she doesn’t get paid very much.

trainerboy's avatar

My parents supported me through college, and even after, if I was in a situation where I was short fo money, my dad would give me a hand. He made it clear it was not a loan, it was money for me to use and not pay back.. He never wanted that hanging over our relationship.

eadinad's avatar

My parents gradually started reducing money spent on me around the age of 14. While I was in their house, my food/shelter/etc was all paid for, as well as most school supplies, and basic clothing needs. I went away for school when I was sixteen and had no living expenses – scholarship – and my parents gave me a couple hundred every few months for art supplies and little things. Now I’m putting myself through college, including loans, though if an emergency comes up they would give me some money to tide me over – it hasn’t happened yet, as I’m pretty money smart, but it’s nice to know that exists. They pay for airplane tickets when I visit home, too.

They don’t really support me financially now – not on a regular basis, that is – and I expect pretty much everything will end once I graduate. I’m okay with that.

It would have been nice to have some help paying for college, but it just wasn’t possible for them so whatever.

thecoot's avatar

15. I started working and that was pretty much it. They never offered to help out with anything else and I never asked. When I moved out at 16 I felt like I had full financial liability of myself. They did help pay for my college and I did let them, but due to it being lesser priority than the other things going on in their lives, I have since taken the burden of my college debts. But to be honest, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I have learned many things from growing up earlier than some.

soundedfury's avatar

17. Don’t really care to tell the story, but I’ve been independent since then.

Response moderated
Randy's avatar

16, kind of. That’s when I started working and had to buy my own things. They did give me shelter and food until I was 20 and moved out though. So take your pick, halfway at 16 and totally at 20.

scamp's avatar

I was always a pretty independent person, so I left home early, but my parents gave whatever financial support I needed throughout the years. Whenever my Father gave me money to help, I paid him back and he put it into a savings account. The money was never really a loan, but he wanted me to be a responsible person, and that’s why he did it that way. When he died, he left the money in that account to me along with my other inheritance. It was a very thoughtful thing for him to do.

Bsilver's avatar

@ trainerboy- my dad is the same way.

I’m 23 and living on my own, with all sorts of bills, most of which I can deal with on my own. My parents pay for gas (to a point) my cell, car ins., AAA, and any costs related to the continuing operation of my vehicle. Anything beyond that is up to me, but if they find out somehow that I’m in a financial bind, they’ll give me help, even though I don’t ask for it nor want them to. Their parents were the same way, so they extend the same level of support they got.

I’m very lucky in that regard, compared to a lot of other people, I may not be a perfect son, but I do what I can to deserve(I can’t think of a better word) that level of support.

nikipedia's avatar

@soundedfury: Me too! Hence the question. By the way—can I still persuade you to do a couple tattoo photos?

peedub's avatar

16. I paid for my college education via bartending.

johnnyc299's avatar

I moved out at 17 but my parents have always helped. My Dad had a serious accident 9 months ago and will be off work for a few more months. I have been very happy to be in aposition to give him some help when he needed it. I have a 15 year old son now and I will always be there to support him as long as I can although he knows the value of money and works for his allowance.

soundedfury's avatar

I forgot to clarify that there was no support, financial or otherwise, since I was 17. In fact, my mother and stepfather both claimed me (wrongly) on their taxes for years after, which really screwed up my ability to get need-based loans and grants in college. I paid for college myself with full-time jobs – although full-time school and full-time work I would not recommend for anyone.

@nikipedia – Yeah, I’m sure I have a photo of at least the Picasso. Not sure if I have one of the Le Brocquy, though. It’s kind of hard to get a good photo of without a little help.

mzgator's avatar

My parents quit supporting me when I was 18 years old. When I had my daughter, she was seriously ill and had surgery at 6 weeks old. My husband and I were 25 years old. I could not work, because she was too sick. Hospital bills were enormous. They helped out a lot with diapers and formula and baby clothes. We never asked for help. They just knew we needed it. My dad would come by and say he had gone to a grocery store and they had all of these items on such a great sale, and he bought two of everything. One for us and one for him. Without their help at that time, things were already tough and they would have been a lot tougher.

wildflower's avatar

At 16 moved abroad for a year, when I moved back I moved back in with my mum for a year, but we went half/half on the rent, car, bills, etc…....after that I was on my own.

susanc's avatar

My parents paid for the first three years of college. I didn’t get a full-time job till I was 20.
Then I got married and supported myself and my husband, who was a full-time student. My father discouraged me from going to college because he didn’t want to help pay for it, but bizarrely, once I was married and working 2 jobs, he began sending me a “clothing allowance”. I used it to finish college. When he died, he left me some money, and I went to graduate school.
My two sons always had jobs after they turned l5 or so. I told them I would always get behind education expenses. One of them finished his PhD and has continued to study within an institute. I don’t pay for it. To him this was kind of a shock, but he was 40 or so by then and I felt fine about it.

dwtorres's avatar

17, I moved out and never look back. Probably the smartest/stupidest thing I have ever done.

cookieman's avatar

15: I started working and that was it for me too. Paid for everything on my own (clothes, car, college, etc.) from then out.

(The irony is that to this day (I’m 37), my folks tell everyone that they paid for everything up until, oh…yesterday.)

hoteipdx's avatar

My wife and I are in our 30s and still getting help. We hate it, but we need it.

flameboi's avatar

16, got my first job, and never asked for disposable income, I’m paying for my college education, and everything else…

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

My oldest daughter went to college on academic scholarship, with a living stipend. She lived at home for most of college. When she moved out with the intent of going to law school, she was able to pay her living expenses. We made sure she had furniture, household goods, etc. We gave her a used car, paid her car insurance, cell phone, health insurance. She didn’t go to law school, but travelled for awhile before starting grad school, and during the interim we paid for the storage of her possessions. She’s in grad school, and we still pay car insurance, cell phone, health insurance, and occasionally, clothing, because I want to. She manages her expenses pretty well, and lives well within her budget. She pays her tuition and living expenses from loans and working.

My younger daughter is not academically gifted, and is attending a state university and living on campus. We are paying her tuition, living expenses, gave her a used car, and pay her cell phone and insurance.

We don’t make a lot of money, but we live modestly and are still in the same house we bought after we married.

Jack79's avatar

17, 27, 37 (I hope)
seems like I run into trouble every ten years or so and they have to bail me out.

JellyB's avatar

Hmm…..i can’t remember the exact age, but it hasn’t really ended yet. They supported me until my mid twenties or so, when i still lived with them, i only moved out at 26 or so into one of my parents’ other homes they own, where i still live rent free. They also paid for my bachelor’s degree, and i had to buy my extra things (excluding necessities) with my allowance money and my job (which was a really low paying job because it was articles). Now i’m almost 30, and i pay my own way, except for being rent free in their other home, but i think we are just about ready to buy our own house, just wanna make sure the market is in our favour before we buy. But they still buy little things for me here and there sometimes, like some groceries when they are out buying for themselves anyway and i need something, or an item of clothing when i go shopping with my mum etc – small things.
I kind of wish i was forced to become financially independant at a young age…

Seaofclouds's avatar

I moved out at 17 (when I joined the Army) and their financial support stopped then. They will help me if I need it now the same way I would help them out if they needed it, but they have no supported me financially since I moved out at 17.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

16. By then I worked while finishing my last year of high school. I’d already been paying my own car insurance, owned my own old beater car, paid for my own phone line and also paid our household bills since the time my dad had left my mom and little sister.

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