Social Question

2CDenzy's avatar

Why do people have abortions?

Asked by 2CDenzy (442 points ) March 25th, 2011

I feel like this question is worth asking because I do not understand why people have abortions. Now, in 2011, what are your thoughts and perspectives of abortion, why or why not?

I’m not looking to get into a heated argument but personally I am pro-life and I am wondering why some are pro-choice.

I would like to point out that some of you may be thinking the situation of rape, but that is only accountable of around 1% of reasons people claimed for abortion. I am thinking about the other 99%.

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119 Answers

bkcunningham's avatar

Grabs the popcorn and gets ready.

TexasDude's avatar

I’m pro-choice because as a small-government lower-case l libertarian I believe that the State should not have ownership over the sexual faculties of women, which is essentially what bans on abortion amount to.

Abortion is ugly. Nobody in their right mind likes abortion, or is “pro” abortion. That said, the alternative is even uglier. I’m really uncomfortable with the idea that women should be forced to carry an unwanted mass of cells in their bodies at the behest of the State or because the more religious elements of society think they should.

zenvelo's avatar

Because they find themselves pregnant, and in no position to raise a child or even to get to the point of giving birth. And I used plural pronouns because it may be a joint decision of the parents to be.

Ladymia69's avatar

Because it’s my choice. And it’s my right.

2CDenzy's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard That is a very good answer. But, choices have consequences, sex can lead to pregnancy (fifth-grade lesson right there). So should the woman live with those consequences of the choice they made?
Outlandish comparison: A teenager steals from a drugstore and is put in jail, do you believe that the state shouldn’t have the right to detain them because others don’t want them free?

@ladymia69 I am seriously not trying to sound like an ass here. When do you think the group of cells becomes a life?

El_Cadejo's avatar

When I was in highschool there were over 25 girls in my class alone that got pregnant. Want to take a wild stab in the air and guess how their academic career went from that point onward?

2CDenzy's avatar

I just want to say this before anything might get out of hand. I really don’t mean to ask this question to get into an “argument” about abortion. I just want some insight on this debate.

TexasDude's avatar

@2CDenzy, it’s funny how the woman is forced to live with the consequences of pregnancy whereas the dude gets off scott-free, a good chunk of the time, isn’t it? Doesn’t sound too fair to me. Your statement implies that women should bear the brunt of the suffering for becoming pregnant and be forced to deal with it against their will.

And your outlandish statement is, well, outlandish. Stealing != getting pregnant on accident.

patiently waiting for Simone_de_Beauvoir to show up.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Because they don’t want to have a baby. Because they don’t want to carry on their genetics, and would rather adopt. Because they know they don’t have a viable pregnancy, or that the baby has serious deformities that will prevent it from living more than a minutes, hours, days, or weeks. Because they were in an abusive relationship, and they can’t be legally tied for the rest of their life to a man who treated them so horribly. Because they’ve had enough children.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Some women find themselves pregnant when they had done everything they thought necessary to prevent conception. They know their own situation well enough to know whether they are in a mental, physical or economic condition to carry a pregnancy to term.

Each woman knows her own situation and what they can and cannot do. Abortion is one of several options that a woman can choose in such a situation. Nobody is pro-abortion! Just the same, it is an option and a woman’s well considered decision should NEVER be judged by anyone else!

El_Cadejo's avatar

@2CDenzy by what you just said above your saying that if a teen makes a mistake an accidently gets pregnant she should then be forced to go through all that instead of being able to learn from it and move on with her life until its the right time to actually have a child that can be raised properly? yes fine adoption but still having a baby with have some serious consequences on her life.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

If you’re really looking to understand the other side, I’d suggest reading the blogs, twitter posts, articles, and books of pro-choice advocates. I’d be happy to give you some links.

Ladymia69's avatar

@2CDenzy I respect your right to ask. What is your definition of “life” in this context?

jaytkay's avatar

@2CDenzy Not trying to be critical – I rarely am able to hold my tongue – but if you really want to hear counter opinions, you need to sit on your hands and let others answer your question.

SavoirFaire's avatar

@2CDenzy Yes, actions have consequences. Smoking can cause cancer, for instance, though it doesn’t do so in all cases. Does that mean we refuse to treat those who get sick because they “brought this disease upon themselves”? No, it does not.

2CDenzy's avatar

@ladymia69 What ever you think it is. I’m not all too sure myself.

@uberbatman But the (for lack of a better term) potential person won’t even have a life. Would the life of a (once again) potential person be worth letting the pregnant teen not go through some rough patches? And would having the child help them learn from it and move on? That is if the child is placed in foster care.

@SavoirFaire I don’t think lung cancer could be compared to a pregnancy fairly. I understand where you’re coming from though.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@2CDenzy can one miss something in which theyve never had? Also do we really need to add to the total population on the earth?

math_nerd's avatar

Everyone hates abortion, it isn’t like a weekend at the spa. If you hate it don’t bitch about Section 8, Welfare, or WIC. Try caring about the child once it is born.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@math_nerd Great, now I want a weekend at a spa! See what you’ve done?

2CDenzy's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I agree that the man shouldn’t get off ‘scoot-free’ and that is unfair for the woman, I didn’t imply that. I guess it all comes down to whether the girl thinks going through the pregnancy is worth the consequences of it.

@uberbatman I guess that’s true. I don’t agree with your ‘adding to population’ though, a life is a life.

SavoirFaire's avatar

@2CDenzy It’s the same principle: actions have consequences. Why do you like the principle in one case but not in the other? Sounds like the special pleading fallacy to me (aka the double standard).

2CDenzy's avatar

@2CDenzy If you followed through with a pregnancy you would have a life. If you followed through with smoking you would have lung cancer.

EDIT: It depends on if you think a life is good or not just like if you think cancer is good or not.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@2CDenzy there are thousands of children in foster care programs that need adopting. Do you really need to have another baby to throw into that system?

hobbitsubculture's avatar

You’re asking two different questions here. Why people have abortions and why they are pro-choice are two different, though overlapping questions. I will answer the first one.

Like @Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard said, abortion is ugly, and no one is pro-abortion. It’s a medical procedure with all the associated risks, and then some. There are both physical and emotional side effects, not to mention the scarlet letter a woman would be stuck with if anyone but very close family or friends found out she had gone through with it. Those who have abortions are in situations where having one, even with all the possible fallout, is better than going through with the pregnancy or raising a child.

Though I’m pro-choice, I don’t personally think I’d go through with an abortion, even in the case of rape. Most medical procedures terrify me.

2CDenzy's avatar

@uberbatman Would you rather not be born or be in the system though?

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

According to Wikipedia,
An abortion is medically referred to as a therapeutic abortion when it is performed to:
1. Save the life of the pregnant woman;[6]
2. Preserve the woman’s physical or mental health;[6]
3. Terminate pregnancy that would result in a child born with a congenital disorder that would be fatal or associated with significant morbidity;[6] or
4. Selectively reduce the number of fetuses to lessen health risks associated with multiple pregnancy.[6]

An abortion is referred to as elective when it is performed at the request of the woman “for reasons other than maternal health or fetal disease.”[7]

If a global law was passed that prohibited abortions, the problem is that women would still seek them out, and most likely at the hands of many ‘doctors’ without the skill required to deliver a safe procedure.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@2CDenzy again, one can not miss something theyve never experienced. IE im allergic to nuts I always have been. People ask me all the time how can you go without having peanut butter, its amazing. Ive never had it, I dont know how amazing it is or isnt. If I was never born can I say I missed life? No. I never experienced it or knew anything of what was to be missed.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer It’s not always the skill that they’re lacking, but rather the equipment and the safe environment.

2CDenzy's avatar

@uberbatman Very good answer.

From what I can tell it all comes down whether the couple/woman believes in maintaining themselves or maintaining the conception/life/cells/what-you-believe. But from all your points it seems like a win for one but a loss for the other (please take that statement in its basic form, I can’t think of a better way to phrase it). Is that true? Are there cases of win for both?

El_Cadejo's avatar

@2CDenzy Its a tricky thing to answer because it depends really on what you consider to be life. I know above you said the potential for life was there but is it really life at that point?

Is there a way for both parties to win? Yea, we live in a perfect world. Sadly this isnt the case and more often than not one party gets slighted. Just the way it is.

SavoirFaire's avatar

@2CDenzy I’ll assume the comment you addressed to yourself is actually addressed to me.

Your response is really just a bit of nonsensical rhetoric that does not answer the question: why do I not have to pay for the consequences of my actions if I get cancer, but I do have to pay for the consequences of my actions if I get pregnant?

I cannot get pregnant, of course, as I am male. But I take it you know what I mean.

Also, discussion regarding abortion often get hung up on the issue of life, which is actually quite irrelevant. The issue is personhood. Epithelial cells are life, but they are not persons. That’s why I can scrape them off the inside of my cheek all day with no one complaining about it.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Grown women like me who used to believe abortions were the right for other people until I found myself pregnant after being a diligent birth control user. Until you’re in the hot seat, you never know.

hobbitsubculture's avatar

@SavoirFaire Great point about personhood. If life was the issue, and if it was thought through to its logical conclusion, there would be a lot more pro-life (or anti-choice) vegetarians out there. I’ve met maybe one pro-life person whose respect for life extends to ALL life.

Sometimes I want to ask pro-lifers if they eat bird embryos.

DrBill's avatar

Abortion always leaves 1 wounded, and 1 dead

The only reason (exempting rape, medical reasons and incest) is they are willing to sacrifice a human life for their own convenience. It’s not cause they don’t want to raise it, there are plenty of people willing to adopt. It can’t be cost of the birth, adopting parents are happy to cover the cost. And there are government sponsored medical programs

They will use every excuse in the book to try to justify Killing their baby, but bottom line is they would rather murder their own child than to be inconvenienced by their untimely pregnancy.

SavoirFaire's avatar

Yes, @Neizvestnaya is quite correct.

And then she heads for the clinic and she gets some static walking through the doors
They call her a killer, and they call her a sinner, and they call her a whore
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes
‘Cause then you really might know what it’s like to have to choose
—Everlast, What It’s Like

@DrBill Got anything resembling reason for your view, or are you content offering empty rhetoric?

incendiary_dan's avatar

Clearly I’m pro-choice because I’m a cold-blooded killer.

DrBill's avatar

@SavoirFaire

It is self evident for most, but tell me what part you don’t understand and I will try to put it in terms even you can understand

SavoirFaire's avatar

I’ll take that as a “no.”

tranquilsea's avatar

@DrBill “but bottom line is they would rather murder their own child than to be inconvenienced by their untimely pregnancy.”

Have you ever met someone who’s had an abortion? If you had then you should know that it is a decision they come to after days/weeks of tortured decision making. I think that your statement is flippant.

How does society treat the pregnant woman who is going to walk around for nine months attracting attention only to give the child up? It would be nice to think that people would be kind and considerate but too often that is just not so. Snide comments and judgmental attitudes abound.

Kudos to those women who have the fortitude to lean into society’s judgments and have the baby and keep it or give it up for adoption. I just can’t expect that most women would be able to do that.

anyone else wonder why, so often, it is that the same people who get all up in arms about abortion are usually the same people who judge the teenage, unmarried mom with disdain?

SavoirFaire's avatar

@hobbitsubculture I’ve got a Catholic friend in the Philippines who eats this all the time. Maybe I should ask her about it…

Hey, can we turn this into a food thread now?

cookieman's avatar

there are plenty of people willing to adopt

@DrBill: If only this were true. Unfortunately there are thousands of children domestically who grow up in foster care, as wards of the state because there simply are not plenty of people willing to adopt.

Your statement makes a nice “pro-life” sound-bite, but is a complete fantasy.

incendiary_dan's avatar

@SavoirFaire Well I was reminded that I forgot to put eggs in the pad kee mao I made for @hobbitsubculture and I today.

SavoirFaire's avatar

@incendiary_dan I imagine it’s not the same without the eggs. Sort of like fried rice. What did you do to make it up to her? More cooking?

DrBill's avatar

@tranquilsea

I have counseled hundreds, and have never met a single one that did not regret doing it. You are very correct about how others treat them and that is shameful on their part.

@cprevite

It is mostly older children that are hard to place because most adoptive parents want newborns of their own race, and unwanted pregnancy rates are very unbalanced ratio.

JmacOroni's avatar

@DrBill I haven’t counseled hundreds, but I know a handful of women that have absolutely no regrets. In most of those situations, they look back and feel that they were too young, too immature, just not ready to be mothers, and felt that they made the right decision. I guess I must have found the only women on earth that feel like the decision really was the right one.

incendiary_dan's avatar

@SavoirFaire It was still delicious, and she might not have realized until she read that message. Anyway, I make all the food, like the roasted free range chicken I made the other day. In the next couple of days it will become soup, too.

SpatzieLover's avatar

If it were to become illegal, then women that have been victims of incest, women that have been raped and women that have been told that going through with a birth will mean death for them or the fetus would have to go to court to get approval for their abortion.

After I read this story, I was sickened. First the 9yr old has to live through the emotional & physical pain of incest…then she has to go through public excommunication?

I am Catholic. There is no way I want women to use a coat hanger, a coke bottle or a back alley abortionist ever again.

@2CDenzy Women have abortions for personal reasons. It is their body. Government has no business inside a womans uterus or brain, nor does anyone else

cookieman's avatar

@DrBill: Not to put too fine a point on it, but…

Approximately 20,000 children age out of foster care each year. This means approximately 4% of the total foster care population never get adopted.

Sources:
link

link

SavoirFaire's avatar

@incendiary_dan Nice. My wife usually does most of the cooking, but I’ve been trying to learn how to make a few dishes so I can surprise her some night. She goes back and forth between being a vegetarian, though, so I’ve been experimenting with roasted vegetables and various spices.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@DrBill And what job is this that puts you in a place of counseling hundreds of women who have had abortions?

Uberwench's avatar

My mother had an abortion and has no regrets. She’s not some weeping damsel who can’t get over it. It wasn’t easy at the time. It’s a big decision. But she got over it. I suspect @DrBill‘s patients all regret it because he leads them to the idea that they should regret it. We have a word for that where I’m from: malpractice.

@incendiary_dan, @SavoirFaire Can either one of you make chocolate mousse?

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@Uberwench I can make chocolate mousse. I have a really, really, really great recipe for it.

tranquilsea's avatar

And @DrBill I worry that you carry this attitude, “would rather murder their own child than to be inconvenienced by their untimely pregnancy’ while you counsel women. That must seep into how you treat them.

incendiary_dan's avatar

@SavoirFaire The chicken was actually supposed to be shredded for the pad kee mao, but then I used the pork I had originally bought to make pancit earlier in the week, but didn’t end up using. I’ll just keep naming fun dishes I make as long as I can think of them.

@Uberwench It’s been a while since I made mousse. More of my desserts these days revolve around avoiding sugar and crazy processed stuff. There’s a super-good chocolate dessert that @hobbitsubculture and I make once in a while that includes coconut oil, cocoa, almonds, and a bit of a natural sweetener like honey or maple syrup. If you make it with the syrup, it is amazing in that it is both paleo and vegan, which do not normally overlap much.

DrBill's avatar

@cprevite

Nice to know you can use Google, but the question is “why do people have abortions? You seem to want to argue points that have nothing to do with the question.

@MyNewtBoobs

It’s called Psychologist

@Uberwench

They come see me BECAUSE they regret it

@tranquilsea

I never direct them towards felling, any certain thing, I just help them deal with the issues at hand

Uberwench's avatar

@DrBill Sounds like you have a self-selecting, unrepresentative sample, then.

@MyNewtBoobs In that case, I’d love to taste your mousse sometime…

@incendiary_dan That sounds pretty good, too, but you’ll never get me off chocolate!

SavoirFaire's avatar

@Uberwench I’ve made chocolate mousse exactly once. It was for a French class I was taking. I also tried making white chocolate mousse. It… didn’t go very well. But how do you like baklava?

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@DrBill Oh, really? What’s your focus on? What methods do you use? (I ask because I ask this of anyone, ever, who says they’re a psychologist.)

incendiary_dan's avatar

@Uberwench Oh, it’s very chocolatey. :)

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@SavoirFaire That’s because it was white chocolate, which is vile and disgusting. Of course it didn’t turn out well.
@Uberwench I’d let you taste my mousse…;)

incendiary_dan's avatar

@DrBill Could it be, then, that you have a skewed sample?

SavoirFaire's avatar

@MyNewtBoobs As it turns out, that was exactly the lesson I learned. I was making it for a friend who is allergic to chocolate, though, so I had to try.

tranquilsea's avatar

@DrBill I believe that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs but I have to tell you that if I knew my psychiatrist (yes, I see one) had your opinions on abortion and I had had one….that would be devastating.

I still cannot see how you can compassionately counsel women when you view them so harshly.

Uberwench's avatar

@SavoirFaire I know of no sane person who doesn’t like baklava.
@incendiary_dan In that case, bring it on! I can always go for a new source of chocolate!
@MyNewtBoobs Promise?

cookieman's avatar

It is mostly older children that are hard to place because most adoptive parents want newborns of their own race

Yes this is true, but 34% of children still in foster care are ages 1 to 5. Clearly there aren’t enough people willing to adopt or every child sitting in foster care would be over the age of 5.

Adoption, while a viable option for pregnant woman, is not some magic cure all where there baby is immediately whisked into the arms of some loving family. Many babies never leave foster care.

And whether those unadopted children are black, hispanic, white (or even special needs) is irrelevant to this conversation.

jonsblond's avatar

don’t know if @DrBill has a skewed sample, but 3 out of 4 of my sisters regret their abortions, some 20 years after the fact. just sayin’. Why is that so hard to believe. and no, my sisters aren’t weeping damsels

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@jonsblond I don’t think it’s hard to believe that some women regret their abortions – there’s always going to be some percentage of the population who regrets a certain action. I find it hard to believe that a psychologist who doesn’t specifically focus on women who regret their abortions (for instance, a therapist who focused on after-divorce counseling) would have met not only hundreds of women who had abortions, but that not a one of them felt they made the right decision.

Rarebear's avatar

not having read through all the responses The answer to the OP is because they don’t want to have a baby. That’s the reason why people have an abortion. The reason they choose not to have a baby is immaterial to the question.

cookieman's avatar

You seem to want to argue points that have nothing to do with the question

@DrBill: No, I’m arguing a point that you brought up in your list reasons why women, in your opinion, should not have abortions.

I argue this to show that adoption is as viable an alternative to abortion as you’d like to believe it is.

Thought that was pretty clear.

And yes, I can use google – but if those sources aren’t to your liking, I can ask my wife to dig out her case files from when she was an adoption specialist working for DSS.

DrBill's avatar

@Uberwench I agree, I have no reason to see those who can handle it

@MyNewtBoobs Focus is on mental health, method varies with the patient.

@incendiary_dan I agree

@tranquilsea I never said that was my opinion, I was answering the question asked. I could just as easily take a pro-choice side and find all the intolerant people on that side, but that was not the question

@cprevite I never said that was my opinion, I was answering the question that was asked

Uberwench's avatar

@jonsblond No one is saying that there aren’t women who regret having an abortion. But the conditions of our society contribute a lot to that regret. It’s still a socially controversial act to admit to an abortion, and people feel guilty about what they have to hide even if there’s no good reason for that guilt (like masturbation). You can make people feel guilty for perfectly innocent acts by shaming them, and the societal attitude towards abortion is really nothing more than a form of “slut-shaming.”

@DrBill If you agree, then your sample is meaningless and proves nothing. Well, at least we got that out of the way.

jonsblond's avatar

@Uberwench Exactly, like calling women weeping damsels for regretting their decision. How is that any different?

DrBill's avatar

@Uberwench

it is exactly the group to use to answer the question asked

syz's avatar

Because:

No birth control (barring abstinence) is foolproof.
Pregnancy incurs financial outlays (medical, mostly).
Pregnancy incurs health risks
Pregnancy can affect professional/scholastic success

Because there are far too many children on the planet suffering from neglect, abuse, hunger, homelessness, abandonment, and poverty for me to be forced to bring an unwanted child into this world.

And because my body is nobody elses fucking business.

tranquilsea's avatar

@DrBill “Abortion always leaves 1 wounded, and 1 dead

The only reason (exempting rape, medical reasons and incest) is they are willing to sacrifice a human life for their own convenience. It’s not cause they don’t want to raise it, there are plenty of people willing to adopt. It can’t be cost of the birth, adopting parents are happy to cover the cost. And there are government sponsored medical programs

They will use every excuse in the book to try to justify Killing their baby, but bottom line is they would rather murder their own child than to be inconvenienced by their untimely pregnancy.”

That sure sounds like your opinion and if it’s not why would you say it? Especially because this was the question: “I feel like this question is worth asking because I do not understand why people have abortions. Now, in 2011, what are your thoughts and perspectives of abortion, why or why not?

DrBill's avatar

@tranquilsea

opinions of pro-life vs pro-choice have nothing to do with the question, if you want to ask for opinions on life/choice start a thread that ask for opinions

Uberwench's avatar

@jonsblond I was satirizing @DrBill‘s characterization of women who get abortions, not saying that all women who regret it are weeping damsels.

@DrBill Unrepresentative samples are the way to answer the question? What a scientist you must be! It seems like a question about people who have abortions should consider more than a self-selected subset.

DrBill's avatar

@Uberwench

that makes as much sense as asking virgins their opinion on sex

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@DrBill Lol, no I got that. I haven’t met a psychologist yet who didn’t focus on mental health. I meant, what would you fill out on your PsychologyToday profile?

Uberwench's avatar

@DrBill Women who regret their abortions and women who don’t regret their abortions both had abortions. It makes perfect sense to ask both groups about it. The same is obviously not true of people who have had sex and virgins. Nice try, though.

DrBill's avatar

@Uberwench my group was correct, If the question was “why should people have an abortion” the other group would have been right to have solicited answers from

nikipedia's avatar

Is this a serious question? You genuinely can’t think through why someone might need an abortion, or google this and find an answer that makes sense to you?

Are you sure you weren’t just looking for a fight?

Uberwench's avatar

@DrBill The questions is “why do people have abortions?” Both groups had abortions, and both had reasons.

DrBill's avatar

@MyNewtBoobs

in my last article they listed me as a family relations counselor.

cookieman's avatar

The only reason (exempting rape, medical reasons and incest) is they are willing to sacrifice a human life for their own convenience. It’s not cause they don’t want to raise it, there are plenty of people willing to adopt.

@DrBill: Sure sounded like your opinion. My mistake. I must be losing my mind.

Do you know a good Psychologist by any chance?

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

I wonder – what percentage of women regret their abortions vs the percentage of people who regret getting married?

jonsblond's avatar

@nikipedia The OP has been nothing but kind in his/her responses. It seems legit to me. (even if it isn’t, the OP has been civil.) C’mon, I know you’ve seen worse. Play nice. ;)

Kardamom's avatar

Because humans are wired to want and enjoy sex. Because humans don’t always want to have children (ever) or might not want or be able to care for them (right now) and they don’t think that it is right for anyone to FORCE them to have a child against their will. And because there are no forms of birth control (in which the couple is actually having sex for which they are programmed to want and enjoy, that are 100 percent fool proof. And because the law in the United States says that women are entitled to reproductive choice, whether or not someone else who might be pro-life thinks it’s a sin or naughty. And because sometimes having children is the worst choice (and we do have legal choices in this country) in the world, regardless of what you may think. And because the idea of going through the trauma (in my opinion, not yours and mine is the only one that matters in this case) of having a child and then giving it up for adoption is about the worst thing I can think of, because that is how I believe and how I was raised and it has nothing to do with you, in any way shape or form, no matter how much you want it to. That is why it is called a choice, because it is MY choice, not yours. And because it’s none of your business or your “church’s” business or anyone’s business except for mine and the father’s. And I might just do it because I might need the stem cells to actually help or prolong the life of my parent or a child that I CHOSE to have, whether or not YOU like the idea or not. It’s none of your business what I or any other woman or couple does with her reproductive self. And because I might have been raped and going through with a pregnancy is almost worse than the rape itself, according to ME and what you think about me or my body or my child or my desire to end a pregnancy has nothing to do with you at all. It does not effect you in any way, even though you really want it to. Until you ARE me, you cannot force me to do what is not in my best interest.

That’s why people have abortions.

tranquilsea's avatar

@DrBill are those your thoughts or not? You seem to be dancing around your original statements. If they are not your thoughts just where did those statements come from?

cookieman's avatar

@Kardamom: Very well said.

Response moderated
MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@jonsblond Probably many more. Only people who want to have kids will find out that they can’t.

Ladymia69's avatar

@DrBill :

“Abortion always leaves 1 wounded, and 1 dead

The only reason (exempting rape, medical reasons and incest) is they are willing to sacrifice a human life for their own convenience. It’s not cause they don’t want to raise it, there are plenty of people willing to adopt. It can’t be cost of the birth, adopting parents are happy to cover the cost. And there are government sponsored medical programs

They will use every excuse in the book to try to justify Killing their baby, but bottom line is they would rather murder their own child than to be inconvenienced by their untimely pregnancy.”

Just wanted to reflect your words back in your face.

I am fairly sure from reading your statements that you are probably in the wrong line of work. You might want to try politics, since you so brilliantly contradict yourself.

Anyway, your opinion as it stands is inconsequential because you are not a woman. You have no inkling of what it is like to be a woman who is in a complicated and emotional situation that may be the biggest one of her life. No woman has to answer to you.

I became pregnant at 17 unexpectedly, and even though I felt that abortion is a wonderful decision for some women, I found an agency who helped me pick out (and performed necessary safety checks on) a family which consisted of two infertile parents and one child they had already adopted from Russia. I met these folks and they were well-off, loving, and caring people. I had my child and he was adopted by them on August 9, 1997. I receive cards and photos and updates from them every year, and I am so proud of my 17-year-old self for being strong and generous. Having said that, I have made the decision not to have children. My husband is completely with me on that issue. If we found ourselves pregnant (although we use protection), I would be grateful for my right to terminate a pregnancy for a child I don’t want. I have no wish to be pregnant again, and that is that.

girlofscience's avatar

Hey, I got an abortion because I didn’t want a baby!

It seems like you’re asking a question with a really obvious answer?

I was in a position to raise a perfectly healthy and well-cared-for child with both a mother and father, but I just didn’t want one. Having a baby is the most intense life-changing and responsibility-accepting endeavor that I can imagine, so it doesn’t make much sense to accept such a challenge unless you really want to! I didn’t, so I didn’t.

rooeytoo's avatar

I regret a lot of things I have done in my life, but it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do them again.

I never understand why “murder” if you want to call it that, of an innocent child is acceptable in cases of rape? Is the child any less innocent, or why should it be punished for the sins of its father? If you are opposed to abortion then why does anyone make exceptions.

A fetus is better aborted than born to a mother who is ill equipped, for whatever reason, to raise it. And how could a woman live with herself knowing that she has given away a child to people she doesn’t know and doesn’t know how the child will be raised or treated? I never understood how some men so cavalierly have sex with any woman they can and leave birth control up to the woman, how do you know you don’t have children running around in this world who are hungry or mistreated.

Thankfully I have never been in a position to have to face this decision but I think most women who do and choose abortion do not do so lightly and have very good reasons for their decision.

There are so many ga’s up there, my finger is tired from giving lurve!

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@rooeytoo I think the idea is that if it isn’t rape, then the mother’s really just a whore and deserves it. Quite a lot of the pro-life argument seems more about hating women than loving unborn babies.

nikkiduq's avatar

1.) They’re not ready for the responsibility; It was an unwanted pregnancy.
2.) Medically required, such as in cases of ectopic pregnancy, and other pregnancy complications where the mother’s health and/or life is in danger.

rooeytoo's avatar

@MyNewtBoobs – sort of like why USA has a black male president instead of a white female one.

Bellatrix's avatar

I would be concerned if the vast majority of women who choose to have abortions have no regrets. I would regret having to terminate a pregnancy but it wouldn’t mean that I wouldn’t go ahead and do it if it was the right thing for me to do at that time in my life. I am sure I would have regrets that I was not in a position, for whatever reason to continue with that pregnancy. I don’t think the majority of women who choose to have an abortion make that choice lightly.

I would also argue however that there are plenty of women, who have either had a child and given it up for adoption or have tried to raise it and have struggled emotionally and financially, who have regrets too. Significant regret. Being pregnant and for some reason knowing they cannot continue with that pregnancy is a sad situation. Most women would not choose to be there so of course any decision they make would carry with it some level of regret.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@Mz_Lizzy In the 70s, Ann Landers asked women to write in anonymously and tell her if they regretted having children. 70% said yes.

Bellatrix's avatar

Doesn’t surprise me @MyNewtBoobs. With such dramatic choices, there are always shades of grey. Who could choose to make such a decision and never wonder… As I said though, doesn’t mean they wouldn’t make the same choice.

I am pro-choice but in my first marriage I had a huge mortgage and a husband who wanted me to abort my first child. There was no way I could do that. I told him he could go because I was having my child. I had the right to choose though. We make decisions based on our needs and circumstances at that specific time. I feel for any woman who has to choose to terminate a pregnancy but I really doubt many do it lightly and so this argument that abortion must be wrong because women regret it seems ridiculous to me.

Leanne1986's avatar

I haven’t read the above responses yet as I want to give my answer before I get involved in what others are saying (this subject can get me pretty pissed!)

I am pro-choice because I believe a fully formed human should have more rights than a bunch of cells (sorry if you don’t like that description but that’s what I believe a fetus (sp?) to be up to a certain point in the pregnancy). I don’t believe that anyone should be forced to go through with a pregnancy if they feel they are unable to support the end result.

I also feel very strongly that there are far too many orphans in the world without forcing women to add more. I don’t buy the “any life is better than no life at all” arguement because we are only talking about a potential life that, if aborted, knows nothing about the life it could have had. It hasn’t lost anything that it was aware of.

Finally, for now, if abortion was made illegal it would still happen but, instead of a clean clinic with qualified medics, it would be in some shithole with some dodgy doctor just trying to make a few extra bob. When that woman leaves, they don’t care whether she lives or dies a long as they get her money so there would be no after care for her. Sounds extreme but I am 100% sure it will happen as it already is in places where abortion is illegal or too expensive. I would rather see a bunch of cells die than a desperate woman who feel she has no other choice.

I’m now bracing myself as I read some of the responses above. And….calm.

JilltheTooth's avatar

There are as many reasons why women have abortions as there are women who have abortions. I’m 57, and I’ve known a lot of women who have had abortions. Most for some variation of all the reasons stated above, and a few for the desire to not toss a child into the system. They felt it would be irresponsible to have a child that they couldn’t raise themselves and count on the fact that it would go to a “good home”. Putting a baby up for adoption is, for some, akin to abdicating responsibility for that child.
Every Pro-Choice advocate I know is also pro-life (without the caps) in that s/he takes the value of the woman’s life into consideration as well. I have never met anyone who is Pro-Abortion, they are Pro Reproductive Rights.

sarahjane90's avatar

I don’t like abortion. However, at the current time in my life I would be 100% unable to have or care for a child. No way. It would not have a good life right now. Therefore, I would want to be able to have that choice if I had to.

However, a pinch of responsibility can reduce the need to even have to make this decision. With proper contraceptive methods, the likelihood you will encounter this ugly decision can be significantly reduced.

Blackberry's avatar

Are you sure you didn’t mean, “Why do people not have abortions more often?”?

lemming's avatar

Some people think it isn’t really a person, it’s just a pile of cells that you can get rid of. I wouldn’t do it either. It’s just a different point of view.

Seelix's avatar

I haven’t read all the answers. But I’ll tell you why I wouldn’t be opposed to having an abortion.

I take precautions when it comes to contraception. I’ve been on the Pill for about 15 years, and I’m strongly considering getting an IUD. I’ve been with my partner for almost 10 years, and I’ve always been cautious with my sexual relationships. I’ve never had sex with someone I didn’t know well, and luckily, I’ve never been raped. I’ve been sexually active for 15 years, and I have never had a real pregnancy scare. (There was a little bit of a scare the first time I had sex, but in hindsight, there was never really anything to worry about.)

If I were to get pregnant, it would be because of the fact that the Pill is only 97% effective (or thereabouts). I am not financially or emotionally ready to have a child. I’m a student, and it’ll likely be about 5 years before I’m ready to begin my career. At this point in my life, I’m not opposed to the idea of having children in the future, but I know that I don’t want to have any right now.

Now, I’m not saying that if I were to get pregnant that I would definitely abort. My feelings about the situation may be different were I actually in the situation. But abortion would definitely be one of the options I would consider. Carrying the baby to term and giving it up for adoption would definitely NOT be one of the options I would consider.

I am atheist, and I don’t believe that life begins at conception. I can’t say when it does begin, because nobody can say that with any certainty. But I do believe that, if performed within the first few weeks of pregnancy, abortion isn’t killing a child. It’s destroying a mass of cells which have the potential to become a child.

It’s my body, and no one’s fucking with it but me, and whomever I personally give permission. Ain’t no one ever going to tell me that I need to keep an unwanted mass of cells in my body.

jca's avatar

I hope the day never comes when abortion is outlawed, because then we’ll be returning to the Middle Ages for women.

lemming's avatar

Sometimes it is the best option, it’s illegal here in Ireland, and I don’t think it should be.

rooeytoo's avatar

The great answers keep on coming, lurve to you all.

Everytime this discussion arises I think of the good ole bumper sticker,

“Opposed to abortion? Then don’t have one!”

In other words, mind your own business or make sure your own soul is perfectly clear before you try to impose your moral judgements on others.

cockswain's avatar

To get stem cells for research.

Also a delicacy for the very wealthy.

too much?

cookieman's avatar

just a smidge

BarnacleBill's avatar

People use birth control, and it fails. They have no support network with which to raise a child. They are not able to support themselves, and possibly the children they have, let alone another child.

In case anyone hasn’t noticed, day care for an infant is about $100 – $200 a week. If you have a job earning $300 a week after taxes, how exactly are you going to pay day care, rent, food, etc.? Not all men step up to the plate to provide child support. In many instances, if the father is also working a low wage job, the child support is $50 a week.

What happens if you’re 18, headed for college, turn up pregnant, and your parents not only threaten to throw you out of the house, but refuse to help with college?

Most people who are pro-life seem to also be anti-government social service programs. You cannot have it both ways. The fantasy world that supports unwed mothers and their children only exists in Ronald Regan movies from the 1940’s, or on a reality TV show.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

I know if I got pregnant, I’d have an abortion. I don’t want to be a parent. Carrying the child to term and giving it up for adoption would not be an option, partly because I have no intention of inflicting my genes upon the world yet again. And if flying to another state or country was what it took to get an abortion, that’s what I would do – outlawing it would not prevent it from happening, it’d just put women’s lives in danger who seek back-door abortions or even abortions they preform on themselves.

jca's avatar

I had an abortion when I was 20, and adoption was not an option for me, because I felt like if I was going to carry a child to term, and give birth to it, I may as well just keep the child and love the child and deal with life together with the child, instead of giving it up and wondering forever how the child is doing in the world.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Responsability and reasoning… When a woman knows that she is about to make an 18 to 20 year long mistake… that she understands she doesn’t have the maturity, the resources, the support structure or the emotional capacity to nurture, love, provide for or offer a beautiful, deserving life what it might need to grow into a well adjusted decent loving human being… It is the best gift she could give to know better than to try and dellude herself or anyone else into the consequences then becoming the childs, not her’s alone.

A human life lasts 65 to 75 years on the average. Mistakes make it seem like an eternity. Especially those that might have been lovingly avoided.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

I can’t tell you how many times in my long life I have wished that my mother had aborted me… instead of the one before me, as well as the one after I was born. *And she was married, and catholic (Which is some cases is exactly the problem).

tranquilsea's avatar

@GabrielsLamb I can’t tell you how many times in my long life I have wished that my mother had aborted me

That is really sad. Why do/did you feel like this?

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