Social Question

TexasDude's avatar

Quick! What's a "tasteful" cuss word or insult?

Asked by TexasDude (25229 points ) April 4th, 2011

I’m writing an essay about how King Leopold II was an epic douchebag in his treatment of the Congo Free State in the late 19th century. My opening sentence is something like this:

In the 19th Century, nearly the entire continent of Africa was hungrily carved up like a titanic cake by various European powers who wished to get ahead of the colonial curve. King Leopold II, the legendary bearded…

..and that’s all I have. I want to refer to King Leopold II as the legendary bearded asshole, but I want to do it somewhat tactfully, since this is a relatively serious paper. Any suitable substitute words are greatly appreciate. Thanks, my lovelies.

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54 Answers

DeanV's avatar

Dicknose.

WestRiverrat's avatar

We always used Biped mammalian when we wanted to politely cuss in public.

TexasDude's avatar

@dverhey, his nose did look rather phallic

@WestRiverrat, eh, doesn’t have the “spice” I’m looking for. Thanks, though.

WasCy's avatar

Why make it a curse word? Make it a graphically descriptive polite word to demonstrate your point.

I don’t know King Leopold I know that surprises people sometimes, so what characteristic of his do you want to demonstrate? Was he greedy for riches and/or power? Was he sadistic? Was he clueless and stupid? Lazy? Gluttonous?

Let your contempt show through polite words, and it’ll be more effective in a scholarly work of any kind.

iamthemob's avatar

I’ve always enjoyed “cur.”

Afos22's avatar

How about ‘brute’? And hey it’s an alliteration!

bob_'s avatar

Cunt.

BarnacleBill's avatar

contemptible, exploitative knave

Afos22's avatar

Jackass is a pretty “tasteful” cus.

TexasDude's avatar

@WasCy, he was an epic, blazing piece of shit. He was more or less directly responsible for a huge genocide of the native people of the Congo Free State. To prove that his soldiers didn’t waste ammo, he would have them turn in one severed hand per bullet expended. When the soldiers got drunk and shot off a bunch of their rounds, they would go into towns and cut the hands off of children to account for the missing ammo. He also enslaved populations and literally worked them to death on rubber plantations. Personally, he was a bit of a creeper. He wore a bag over his beard because he was afraid of germs, and he married a 17 year old if I remember correctly while washing his hands of his daughters. Read King Leopold’s Ghost if you get the chance.

@iamthemob, that’s actually really nice. I’ll consider it.

@Afos22, I may go with that…

@bob_, that’s the word I truly want to use, but I don’t know if my professor would take kindly to it.

@BarnacleBill, I think I’ll tack one of those adjectives onto my descriptor of him.

@Afos22, I considered it.

bob_'s avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I don’t know man, I’d say it’s pretty tasty tasteful.

nikipedia's avatar

Dude, use your own words. King Leopold II: legendary, bearded, genocidal, pedophilic colonialist. Done.

ziegler's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I don’t think a tasteful cuss word exists, but you could try opposite of a gentleman, really bad adjectives like malignant, self-centered, pompous, rude, etc.

TexasDude's avatar

@nikipedia, lol, you got me there. Maybe me posting this question indirectly helped me, as opposed to directly helping!?

TexasDude's avatar

@ziegler, duly noted. Thank you and welcome to Fluther.

bob_'s avatar

@ziegler Or vicious motherfucker.

jaytkay's avatar

Fiend

Devil incarnate

Jeruba's avatar

I say use a nonjudgmental word. Name-calling will hurt your credibility as an analyst of history. Legendary bearded potentate, overlord, autocrat… (fill in thesaurus list here). Let his actions characterize him rather than your choice of epithets. Much more effective.

ziegler's avatar

@bob_ I was thinking more like pompous ass would get the point across

TexasDude's avatar

@Jeruba that’s actually a really good point.

Okay guys, with your assistance, this is the first part of my opening paragraph:

In the 19th Century, nearly the entire continent of Africa was hungrily carved up like a titanic cake by various European powers who wished to get ahead of the colonial curve. King Leopold II, the legendary, contemptible, bearded brute of Belgium, had his Albini-rifle sights set on what would become The Congo Free State from the start.

My professor loves humor and sarcasm. That’s mainly why I asked this question. Thanks guys.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Pompous ass doesn’t quite do it; he was deliberately exploitative.

TexasDude's avatar

@BarnacleBill, yeah. I have officially lumped him among Hitler, Stalin, the Khmer Rouge guy, and the other douchebags of history in my mind.

@ziegler, thanks!

everephebe's avatar

Whoremonger, would be technically correct.

He was too sick to attend his own wedding and was booed at his funeral. He was another sad product of inbred aristocracy. The crowned sadist of Belgium.

He was a barbaric colonialist, and a greedy tyrannical ruler. He was a genocidal megalomaniac, with presumably a really tiny penis, that he made up for by being a giant prick.

Another tasty word would be quim, but I don’t know how you’d use it for him. Quimbeard? Douchebeard? Twatbeard?
@BarnacleBill Maybe, deliberately exploitative ass?

TexasDude's avatar

@everephebe, wow, those are awesome! The more I read about this guy, the more I just absolutely hate him. I think the novelty of it is part of what makes it so bad… Everyone knows about Hitler and Pol Pot and so on, but Leopold was a psychotic bastard that not many people know about and it just seems so fresh for some reason, since the story of the Congolese he killed is so much lesser known. I can’t really explain it.

For the record, here’s my completed intro paragraph:

In the 19th Century, nearly the entire continent of Africa was hungrily carved up like a titanic cake by various European powers who wished to get ahead of the colonial curve. Their reasons were typical: they had a desire for resources, for land, labor, and so on, and they all employed a number of methods to gain access to these wants and needs. King Leopold II, the legendary, contemptible, bearded brute of Belgium, had his Albini-rifle1 sights set from the start on what would become The Congo Free State after he privately acquired it. While his own reasons and methods for seeking this specific colony mirrored, in a way, those of Europe in the rest of Africa, his exploits would take on a unique level of brutality that would be almost unparalleled in the rest of the European colonies in Africa. Essentially, Leopold’s Congo serves as a microcosmic example of typical European colonialism in Africa, only with an amplified emphasis on cruelty and ruthless efficiency that would eventually serve as its downfall.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

…the legendary dolt as ignorant as dirt…

everephebe's avatar

Some in power, feel absolutely entitled to be massive bastards. Probably, because they have too much power and can get away with it. It’s unfortunate that someone didn’t succeed in assassinating this guy.

TexasDude's avatar

@hawaii_jake, I may just compose a limerick about him and include that line… credit due to you of course, my Hawaiian friend.

@everephebe, I would have loved to do the honors. I’d then chop off his hand and parade it around Europe. I’m sure George Washington Williams who was a total badass and one of my historical heroes would join me.

Jeruba's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard, Khmer Rouge guy: Pol Pot.

TexasDude's avatar

@Jeruba, yeah, I missed that the first time around. I knew his name, but it just took a while for my brain to spit it out. Thank you. Sharp-eyed as always.

augustlan's avatar

Insidious bastard. What? I’m talking about Leopold.

TexasDude's avatar

@augustlan he would have probably been less of a neurotic genocidist if he had taken up the fiddle.

augustlan's avatar

Wouldn’t we all. ~

ucme's avatar

Oh shit! Looks like I missed the boat on this one, I had a peach as well. Still…never mind.

Cruiser's avatar

Asshat. “King Leopold II, the legendary bearded asshat” Or would that be asscrown? Asscrown doesn’t have the same ring to it.

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WestRiverrat's avatar

@ucme and @noelleptc go ahead and give them, maybe some of us can use them later.

MilkyWay's avatar

Ohhh, missed all the fun! : (

nikipedia's avatar

Ooh, I had another thought: next time you need a tasteful cuss word, turn in an audio version of your paper and read it in a British accent. Everything sounds tasteful with a British accent.

Response moderated (Spam)
TexasDude's avatar

@nikipedia, I’d love to do that.

@noelleptc I’ve always been fond of cuntwaffle as well.

@everyone else, thanks a bunch. Essay is turned in and I wound up going with “brute.” I was also the only one who talked in class today. Go figure.

Afos22's avatar

Win! =D

lonelydragon's avatar

I agree with @jeruba. Maybe “despot”?

ucme's avatar

Okay better late than never I suppose. Roustabout sounds awesome to me & just about hits the nail on the head. Failing that a good substitute could be spunkbubble….lowest common denominator & all.

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Ladymia69's avatar

How about “you filthy cuss”?

And this is interesting.

Ladymia69's avatar

@Cruiser I love asshat. I always forget to use it in a sentence!

TexasDude's avatar

Spunkbubble is awesome.

@ladymia69, that link is great.

augustlan's avatar

@ladymia69 Haha. I just snagged that link for Facebook.

ucme's avatar

Yeah my second suggestion has it’s merits certainly. Hits the mark when aimed at odious individuals, has served me well in the past. Incidentally, I have a name, maybe if it was used once in a while. Just a thought.

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