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TexasDude's avatar

Quick! What's another word for "pissing match?"?

Asked by TexasDude (25224 points ) May 6th, 2011

I just finished an essay about the disparity in usefulness between offensive and defensive technology in World War One, and I’m ending with the moral rhetorical question of how many soldiers and civilians had to die in the technological “pissing match” between world powers that the war represented.

The problem is that I don’t think “pissing match” is a very scholarly phrase, and Google isn’t giving me any equally impactful, yet more academic alternatives. Help?

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23 Answers

chyna's avatar

Verbal spar?

augustlan's avatar

Brouhaha? Kerfuffle? Testosterone battle?

Stinley's avatar

macho show of strength?

TexasDude's avatar

@augustlan, Brouhaha wins. Thank you dear.

@everyone else: thanks for the suggestions!

everephebe's avatar

I personally think pissing match is perfectly scholarly in this case.

laureth's avatar

My mom would say, “Big dick contest.” Same idea.

TexasDude's avatar

@everephebe, my professor loves the phrase, but unfortunately, I’m proud enough of this essay that I’m going to turn it in to some competitions, perhaps, and I don’t think the judges are likely to have the same charming sense of humor my professor has.

@laureth, lol, I do enjoy that.

WasCy's avatar

Oh, well, if it’s for a scholarly paper, then “micturational sparring” should work for the first.

As for @laureth‘s excellent contribution, you could use the Latin: gran phallus.

everephebe's avatar

How about “unfriendly frotting”?

everephebe's avatar

Or “mutually antagonistic frotting”?

Cruiser's avatar

How about a good ol’ grudge match?

Ron_C's avatar

Fight fo dying empires

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Nationalistic cock fight?

FutureMemory's avatar

Lurve score.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I guess “penis measuring contest” wouldn’t be very scholarly either…

SavoirFaire's avatar

Isn’t this sort of technological escalation just called an arms race?

Though there’s always room for “brouhaha.”

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Pissing match sums it up so well, it’s difficult to improve on because it does sum it up so well. How about “flawed nationalistic ideological contest.” Naw, I’d go with pissing match. War is so stupid, it deserves a crude description. And the idiots that came up with those tactics probably would think pissing match fits.

jaytkay's avatar

Brouhaha and pissing match seem mild to me, when people died by the millions.

I can’t come up with a pithy phrase at the moment but I am thinking it was more like a fight with straight razors or a continental suicide pact.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Perhaps keep the idea of pissing match, but de-vulgar it and go with “urination match”? Sorta like how I put in “flying fig” instead of “flying fuck” in one of my papers”

TexasDude's avatar

Well I made an A and got a “freaking awesome essay” from my professor, so I guess Brouhaha worked. Thanks for the tips, guys. Lurve all around.

lloydbird's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Not ” Quick! ” enough, but you could have gone with to-do. Far more cynical and understated than the more jovial sounding ”..Brouhaha..”. More dismissively biting.
It depends on what effect you were after though.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
fundevogel's avatar

There’s also chest-pounding and dominance displays.

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