Social Question

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Be Honest! Would you rather be lied to, or told the truth?

Asked by GabrielsLamb (6141 points ) September 28th, 2011

Seems to be that most people say that want others to be honest and genuine with them on any given subject of a personal nature but they also at the same time seem to prefer those types who are placative, phony, and plesantly dishonest. Which do you respond better to if not prefer to hear from and see in others as well when dealing with one another?

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51 Answers

Bellatrix's avatar

Without any doubt, I would rather be told the truth and that people are sincere with me. I am certainly sincere and honest in my dealings with others. I am not sure most people do like phony, placative or pleasantly dishonest people.

Jude's avatar

GQ.

Depends on what I’m asking.

digitalimpression's avatar

If it’s someone I don’t know very well I’m fine if they lie to me. If it’s someone I care about, I prefer honesty.

boxer3's avatar

always always always always.

want the truth.

even if it upsetting, I’d much rather
not have false truths that make me happy
than truth that’s disheartning.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I’m in a willing open relationship. I want honesty more than I want to avoid jealousy. So, clearly, in all other aspects of my life, I want honesty as well.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@Bellatrix

I can be brutally honest at times, especially when someone IS being condescending and phony. I feel that in public situations it applies, but especially on the net *I should have said that… Sometimes, some people are SO OBVIOUSLY phony, and just trite and corn ball… and people buy into it and accept it at face value as kindness, and don’t see any of it for what it is. *Or do they do see it, and just don’t say?

It’s not really an area of my life where I am all that tactful because I see it as an insult to a persons intelligence to be made to feel they have to accept it or you’ll upset the one being ingenune *G-d forbid.

I think sometimes, some people don’t even realize they do it; I think THEY believe they are being genuine… It really get’s under my skin. I just have trouble playing nice, I think that we should be able to speak our minds and be honest and not always have to sugar coat worthless, useless interactions that are meaningless because they are ingenuine.

Many times… even when people are aware, they seem to allow it and in many cases prefer it.

Jude's avatar

“Do these pants make me look fat?” You can lie.

“Are you fucking around on me?” Be honest.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I have added you, quoted you, borrowed from you as well as cited you… I’m a BIG fan of YOU! I have never seen someone else who is so open and brave about the things that you believe and feel, and you don’t usually get hammered on by others for it… How do you do it? You’re kinda my hero around here… *No worries, I’m NOT a Stalker and I’m straight. LOL

*And that is me being COMPLETELY genuine.

boxer3's avatar

@Jude , if the pants make me look fat , and I care enough
to actually ask, goddamn let me know so I can change hahah

Jude's avatar

@boxer3 You look like you need to eat a sandwich. :)

Symbeline's avatar

Truth hurts like mad.

But lies destroy.

Just don’t tell me nothing lol.

Bellatrix's avatar

@GabrielsLamb because someone doesn’t challenge people being phony or trite, doesn’t mean they prefer it. They might just choose to ignore it. And for those who do accept it, even if you see it is false or even condescending, perhaps the receiver needs that kindness? It will be interesting to see what the majority of responses here are. I would be surprised if people knowingly want to be lied to or deceived though. It is an interesting question @GabrielsLamb.

boxer3's avatar

@Jude hahahhahah <333

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@Boxer exactly!

Jude's avatar

@Symbeline I have a big, fat crush on you = truth.

filmfann's avatar

I always prefer the truth.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@Bellatrix Thanks… I have a tendency to be a bit of an extremist at times and another thing that bugs me, is when I react *The magic word with me, I am always the one who is wrong, or mean for getting sick of it and saying something if and when it is directed toward me.

I understand when someone is hurting and we are sensitive because they do need that, we are kind often times out of need, and empathy, and compassion… But what I’m talking about is fake for days, and has no off switch…

Facade's avatar

The truth

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@GabrielsLamb How do I do it? People tried to hammer me (some unknowing newbie souls still do). They found my replies hard to endure so they stopped aka now they bitch about me in PMs to people (lol) who later tell me about their conversations (yes, peeps, I’ve got spies everything, mwahhhha) They’ve said I take things too seriously. They’ve said I have an agenda and ‘issues’. They’ve claimed I am both PC and un-PC and controversial and not. People are simple to figure out and it’s never about you or me, their criticism. I used to care more, now I don’t, that’s how I do it. Also I can eat apart anyone’s bs. So yes to truth and no to bs.

Ellis1919's avatar

Easy, truth, always. Though on occasion I have been known to say “just lie to me” because sometimes the truth isn’t what I want to hear. However I’ll only say this if I already know the truth.

Coloma's avatar

Truth, 100%

SavoirFaire's avatar

“People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty.”
—Richard J. Needham

I would rather be told the truth. Truth never has to be cruel, even if it is sometimes unpleasant. Telling the truth doesn’t mean being blunt or coarse. Moreover, timing matters. Telling the truth earlier, rather than later, keeps things from getting to the point where learning how things really are will be as painful. Honesty is as much an art as lying—and a more difficult one, if truth be told.

JLeslie's avatar

If I ask for it, I want the truth. if I have not asked, then it depends on the thing.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

I think for me it is about language, expressions, cliches, and use of words too… Like those cute little lame sayings that when said, as a visual, you expect the person to kind of give a little kick and say “Aw shucks.” and do the right side fist, to the left ear motion… adding a goofy laugh for good measure. That drives me nuts…

boxer3's avatar

@GabrielsLamb , you got that expression on point. hahaha. I just tested it.
anyway I’m with you.

King_Pariah's avatar

I prefer truth but I have no right to demand it since I’ll lie my ass off in real life about how I’m feeling or if asked if everything is okay.

rooeytoo's avatar

@JLeslie excellent point and I agree.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@King_Pariah An honest liar, isn’t always a liar… I prefer people who in the very least admit to the human things that we all do rather than those who do lie and then blatently lie to cover up the fact that they do, back peddling saying “I am the worlds more honest person, I hate liars.” That’s a headache I don’t care to untangle in another persons intellect and process. It’s too much. If you say you may lie on occasion, I in the very least know I can trust that. It’s something.

Cruiser's avatar

Lied to. I like knowing I will be able to shoot par in heaven.

ddude1116's avatar

Honesty, unless you can lie convincingly consistently.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@boxer3 Thanks… I tested it for accuracy myself… LOL

I secretly hoped everyone tried it…

Blackberry's avatar

Many of us already know of some of the truths all over the planet, so it always kind of confused me when people seemed like they couldn’t handle the truth. For example, I would be very humbled for someone to harshly critique and criticise me, while another may feel severe umbrage right off the bat.

boxer3's avatar

mm bet, @Blackberry , I feel you on that. I can’t stand when someone just gases me up and tells me what they think I want to hear.

Bluefreedom's avatar

I would want to be told the truth by someone as opposed to being lied to.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@boxer3 & @ Blackberry: I get that aspect of it too, I tend to gush when I appreciate something, I get excited like a kid and I’m sure that has at times come off as blowing sunshine up someone’s a$$ But in the very least when that is acknowledged and understood as a part of another persons process… it is understood. But it is never fake otherwise I’m usually just not all that invested or bothered enough to go out of my way without a personal investment. *Again… Human honesty, but also human truth…

Okay Jellies… I’m pulling a Hijack on my own thread!

*Can I do that?

Name some Human truths that are almost never confessed, that are well known truisms that people do all the time, but never openly admit to.

That was mine… Some people tend to become more personally invested and interested when there is some sort of personal gratification involved in the provision.

Basically many humans give to get.

Name some of yours!

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

Told the truth, even if it hurts a lot.

Sunny2's avatar

I prefer the truth. I assume the truth. If I find I was hoodwinked, I’m sorry for the fakers. I was quite old before I realized that some people make things up all the time, just to make themselves seem more interesting. The ones like that,lost all my respect, but I’m sure they don’t care. It’s their lifestyle, but not mine. My friends don’t do that.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I prefer to be told the truth, in private and without the intention to cause me suffering for its own sake.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

The truth.
I also think that I handle the truth better than a lot of people. When I was growing up, I learned very early on that if I told my mother I had done something wrong, my punishment was far less severe than if I tried to cover it up or hide it. In fact, many times, I wouldn’t be in trouble at all.. just because I told the truth. I think that my mother instilled a really strong sense of the importance of honesty in me.
I also believe that lying is a learned behavior. If you tell me the truth, and I totally blow my top and start freaking out on you… I don’t really blame you for being hesitant to be honest with me next time. However, I try to digest what I’ve been told, think about it rationally. Then we can go from there.
Frankly, I think that is healthier for you and for me. Definitely the truth.

ucme's avatar

Truth wins out, always!

ratboy's avatar

I have no preference; it all goes in one ear and out the other.

boxer3's avatar

alotof time I think people dont express true appreciation for someone,

wonderingwhy's avatar

Truth, always. For your human truth, it’s largely been my experience that most people claim to want the truth but still often hear only what they want or bend it beyond recognition to fit their preconceptions.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@boxer3 Yes correct and that can create instances that lead up to grudges, hard feelings, and deep feelings of repressed hurt.

I have always felt that people should KNOW better and behave with gratitude and SHOW another person what they feel or think or what the other person means to them.

Unfortunately because some are both selfish as well as ingnuine *Guilt often drives people to not only do, but hide as well from their own process of doing at the same time… IE Denial and excuses… FOr not behaving in line with how one should behave concerning specifically… Gratitude, affection, apathy and compassion.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@wonderingwhy Exactly the point of the question my dear… Well said!

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@ratboy Sometimes you’re better off like that, and sometimes you miss out too… But I suppose if you don’t care, you just don’t. It serves it’s self protective purpose I suppose?

JLeslie's avatar

@wonderingwhy Truer words were never said.

Bellatrix's avatar

@GabrielsLamb my dad often said, I can give you advice/guidance/my opinion, it is up to you whether you accept it or do anything with it though. Same with truth I think. People will accept and reject based on their own needs. I still would prefer people told me the truth from their perspective (I might not agree with it or accept it though).

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